Lily1918

my son is 4 years old. He needs to take a nap today. He was awake and playing but being destructive because he was tired and I know the only way he will stop is to take a nap. I can't make him. he is vehemently refusing. I can however turn the tv off take away his toys even make him stay in his room and lay in bed while he tantrums. but I cannot make him fall asleep. I cannot rock him to sleep. I know he will cry himself out or play himself out eventually and be asleep, but then if I go and fix his blanket or clean his room before he wakes up, I will wake him up early and the cycle will repeat.
WHY IS THIS SO EASY with my son but so HARD with ABF????
I was saying the serenity prayer at my wits end with my boy when it hit me like a truck.
using is like wanting to stay up and play and have fun at naptime. enabling is like the toys and tv. rehab or jail is like his bedroom. and recovery is like when he is sleeping. all of those things except enabling I can't control annnd (here's the kicker!!!!) recovery is like the elusive nap. when it finally does happen if I go in and "try to clean house" it does damage.
the end result I pray for with my BF and our relationship is like TV time, because after all is said and done if my son chooses to take a nap he can watch tv with me this evening, if he doesn't he has to go to bed early and I stay up and watch TV alone.

oh wow!!!!! what a huge AHA!!!! moment for me today. now lets see if I can really apply this new metaphor to my life