secondwind

Two weeks ago Addicted Other was calling to come home from a rehab program he had only been in for one week. I told him he could not come back to the house. I was standing my ground.

Four hours later AO is calling again saying he has to leave. Two more hours he was walking through the door.

Legally I could not keep him out of the house. He is on the lease. Due to isolating myself for the last five years I have no place to go. Not for lack of asking.

This is when i stopped posting on SR... i kept reading and pming... but i couldn't find it in myself to post. Shame and embarrassment foe not being able to keep him out.

I made the best of the situation for 1 1/2 weeks. I was respectful. I stayed focused on the present. I read. I journaled. My focus was me and the kids. I was staying in good spirits. I attended a CR meeting for the first time with AO. I even attended church.

AO managed himself for about a week and a half. He attended meetings. He signed up for community college. He started working with a Life Coach. He signed up for therapy.

AO jammed one night with a friend he met at CR. Upon coming home he mentioned the guy still smoked pot. As much as i wanted to say NO NO NO you can not continue to jam with him... i had already accepted AO is an adult and I stayed out of it.

This past weekend... AO approached me to smoke pot with him and my 14 YEAR old son and my son's friend. This is when i collapsed. I know my son and his friend have used... the friend more than my son. But for this grown man to ask to use with a 14 year old was sickening. My son was shocked when i asked him about it.

I argued a little with AO then walked away. I kept my distance. I was not ok with this.

AO later said he was glad he did not use that night. But i started watching the actions and attitudes... AO was in a relapse regardless of use. It is easy to pick out... certain phrases are said when he is backtracking and trying to protect his addiction.

It was two weeks. The peace lasted 2 weeks.

But my sanity and selfworth is still strong. I am still happy with myself. I am still happy with my choices.

So that is where i am today. Interviewing when i can.. to raise the money to move out.

Carrie

Belle Of The Ball

Kindeyes

Carrie
I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this......but you're so doing good. Keep focusing on you.....and please.....don't feel ashamed or embarrassed. Dealing with an addicted loved one is a tough situation and none of us do it perfectly. None of us.

We care. We understand. We are here to walk with you......not to judge you or your circumstances or how you cope. Take care of you.

gentle hugs
ke

Ann

Carrie, I'm sorry you are going through this and that your son has to be part of the chaos.

Please don't ever feel embarrassed to post here, after all the crazy situations most of us have been through, you will find we understand and are cheering you on to better days ahead.

Stay strong, keep doing the next right thing for you and your son, and soon you may find your options open up and you will be ready to make some hard choices.

Hugs

helpme33

So much of today's society does not see pot as a drug. On a sitcom the other night the dealer said he didn't do drugs, only pot.

I had found out years later that my EXAH useds drugs with teens too, not cool by any stretch of the imagination!

You are looking for a new place and taking care of yourself and your children - things will get better.
(((hang in there)))