HowCouldYou

My addicted boyfriend and I were arguing and I said it was over, and I really meant it. He proceeded to grab my laptop so he could find someone's house to go over, but I didn't want him to, I just wanted him to leave. So I tried to grab my laptop out of his hands and he pushed me down and left my elbow/hand scrapped and bloodied. I then said I'm going to call the police, I want you removed from MY apartment. I guess he panicked because he said "F**k you, i'm going to have you locked up for domestic violence." I said "how are you going to do that, I never touched you, if anything I should have you locked up for doing this to my arm." Then he got this really sly smile on his face, said "oh really now" and picked up a screwdriver and slashed his face with it a couple times to make it look like I clawed at his face with my fingernails. I was absoultely horrified. He then threatened me and told me to give him $10 so he could go buy some weed or else he was going to call 911 on me. In Maryland we have no self-defense laws so I ended up giving him the money. When he came back, he smoked and composed himself (I guess) and then wanted to "talk." I told him the truth, I don't want to be with him and I want him to leave tonight. He picked up the screwdriver again and this time made more marks on his face and said that if I'm going to screw up his life he is going to screw up mine by getting me locked up with domestic violence. I'm terrified. I have a perfect record, I'm going to school and have a full-time job. I don't know what to do. After he said/did that I bit my tongue and said I wanted to be with him and that I was sorry. He's trying to ruin my life because once I kick him out he won't have anything and he knows it. I just want to leave him, cancel the lease on the apartment, and move back in with my parents. I just don't know what to do. I feel trapped....

suki44883

Physical violence is NEVER okay. Please get out of there and go stay with your parents. You can figure out how to get your stuff later. This man is a loose cannon and very dangerous. Keep yourself safe.

LoveMeNow

I would go to the police TODAY and discuss this situation with them or call a domestic violence center for advice (get the name of who you spoke with too) and seek out a restraining order TODAY. I would alsotry and record him on my phone or have him admit it in a text, so I had proof and I would even put the screw driver he used in a sealed plastic baggy for evidence, "just in case."

Your BF has some very serious issues, please protect yourself in every way possible. How far do your parents live? Can you stay there until you get him out!! Your safety is worth the money you may need to spend to break your lease.

Impurrfect

I agree with ((Suki)) - get out. I would also recommend calling the local domestic violence hotline - tell them what he did and they can give you support and suggestions.

Keep your phone on you, at all times. Mine has a recording feature, though I'm not sure I'd be able to figure it out in a time of crisis (like to record him slashing himself with the screwdriver).

Please, this is your life and now that he think he's "gotten away" with this, he's only going to get worse.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

eveleivibe

O M G !!! That is horrible. You poir thing. Keep away from him you do not deserve to be treated like that. I'm so very sorry this has happened to you xxx

Fandy

If its possible, call home and ask a family member to come today, get yourself out of his trap. He has seen that he can manipulate you and you give him $$$. He might do worse than push you down. Report what happened, get some help.

tallgirl77

I agree with everyone else. Get out of there ASAP!! Take the screwdriver he used to make the scratches and it can be tested if necessary. Do not let him manipulate you any more than he already has!!! It's hard when they say the things they do to try to persude you into not calling the police. They will investigate and realize that he is the one in the wrong. PLEASE for your own saftey get out and get the help you need and a restraining order!!!

SundaysChild

Your instincts are spot on- you need to get out of there NO!. If he's still there, just get out. If he's not, grab the screwdriver and drive to the police station to make a report - and begin the process of getting a restraining order.

Chino

If you're going to take the screwdriver, please don't touch it with your bare hands. Try to pick it up on the metal shaft, where it meets the handle. It's the least touched part of the screwdriver. The goal is to keep fingerprints (handle) and dna (tip) intact, so don't scoot it, rub it, etc.

ChangingforGood

The best thing you can do it take y our stuff and leave.
If it is your apartment and not his I would check into laws of having him removed.
If you can have him removed, i would change the locks and have someone stay with me for awhile. Or change the locks and leave for awhile.
This behavior will not stop and it will only get worse. Please don't accept the "im sorries" because his addiction will just cause him to keep doing this. He needs help but you need to protect yourself from him.

BadCompany

Sometimes all you can do is run for your life. This is one of those times.

Fandy

If you take the approach of not keeping his actions a secret, by reporting his behavior and telling your parents everything, including the stolen xanax, extortion, threats, you take his power away.
i read your earlier postings, he's been stealing from you, your parents, since august.
It is not getting better, its worse.

lightseeker

get out and call the domestic violence hot line for advice. You can't mess around with this sort of insanity. And I don't care if he is like that only rarely.... My ex husband attacked me once and I left him but then took him back. I should have stayed away. He came close to killing me 18 months ago....and I left for good.

The only way to deal with someone that can be that manipulative is to stay away from there. Rarely do I tell anyone to leave BUT when abuse occurs (and that is what you experienced) it's time to go.

Stay safe and let us know how you are.

jerect

I agree with the others.. Leave!! Violence is a deal breaker.. I put up with a lot of **** from my STBXH and he is not a violent person but drugs make people do some crazy things.. Two weeks ago I came home and caught him smoking "spice" in his bedroom. We got in an argument and he grabbed my arm and shoved me out of the doorway to his room.. DONE!! THE END!!! I filed for a divorce a week later..

If they do it once they will do it again..

GardenMama

Leave! And do get this situation on the record by someone at a domestic violence shelter or the police or both. Take care.

HowCouldYou

Hi All,

I can't even begin to thank you all for the amount of support and advice you're providing. He called the cops on me last night and tried to play the same stunt with the screwdriver. Unfortuntely for him, the cops believed me and almost locked him up for being uncooperative. He was calling the cops names, yelling, cursing....I had about 5 cops in my apartment and they seperated us (me in the bedroom, him in the living room) and got both of our stories. The cop(s) that was talking to me had me write down an incident report. I insisted that I didn't want to press charges, I just wanted him out of my apartment. So now I have a police report of the incident, I just need to make the move to get the restraining order. This is so so hard. The cop was so worried about me that he even offered to drive me to the commissioner's office in his cruiser, wait for me to get the restraining order, and then drive me back to the apartment so he could serve it to my boyfriend. I told him I would do it on my own time though. And I am, I will. Its just difficult. I kind of wish I would've have went with the cop last night. I was so angry and so hurt it would have made the emotional pain easier...sigh.

LoveMeNow

Please don't wait. You are in danger! If a police officer was that worried about you (and they see it all the time), I pray you don't ignore it.

He just almost jeopardized your future will false allegations of domestic violence!! What is next?

I know it is hard but look in the mirror and love the girl enough to protect her. Look at him for what he is NOW, a demon possessed shell of a human being. It's sad but so true!!

Fandy

ditto, you can't waffle on this....he's trying everything to get what he wants. he's not going to leave unless you remove him.

PLEASE contact them today....and your parents.

eveleivibe

Very good point, LMN x

washbe2

Run for your life! Every single response has been in favor of your leaving. If he won't leave, then you leave until the police can force him to go. Is there anyone who can stay with you? Or where you can go stay? Dear, the right time is now. We don't want later to be too late.

I'm glad the police have a report. That will make such a difference. He obviously isn't thinking clearly to call the police with a fase story and expect them to believe it. You deserve better than what he is dishing out.

Please take care of yourself.