He pushed me down...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
Howcouldyou, people like you get killed by people like him everyday.
The cops know this, and you need to register the reality of their concern.
Go away, anywhere, away from him, and have that restraining order served ASAP.
I don't care if you have to crash on a friends couch, have your parents take you in, whatever, your life may depend on it.
Even once the restraining order has been served, keep away from him, as has been proven time and time again, a restraining order is no deterrent to a truly sick individual.
The restraining order is not to protect you. The restraining order is to be used so that when he threatens you, or stalks you in the future, you can call the police, and he goes to jail, no questions asked.
Please heed my advice. I am literally an expert on the matter.
The cops know this, and you need to register the reality of their concern.
Go away, anywhere, away from him, and have that restraining order served ASAP.
I don't care if you have to crash on a friends couch, have your parents take you in, whatever, your life may depend on it.
Even once the restraining order has been served, keep away from him, as has been proven time and time again, a restraining order is no deterrent to a truly sick individual.
The restraining order is not to protect you. The restraining order is to be used so that when he threatens you, or stalks you in the future, you can call the police, and he goes to jail, no questions asked.
Please heed my advice. I am literally an expert on the matter.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 654
I agree with everything everyone has said before me. You should def. get the restraining order asap but I just want to remind you that it is only a piece of paper. I interned in family court and got to sit on and observe people filing for temp. restraining orders and then getting the final restraining orders and the person that took down their stories would remind them it is only a piece of paper and the person is unstable, not rational, and doesn't respect the law so you will still be in a lot of danger.
Even after you get it please change locks, always have a phone on you, and just be aware of your surroundings (not going out at night alone and things like that). I am not trying to offend you, I know that you know it is just a piece of paper, but sometimes in crisis we get that piece of paper and think that we are safe. At least once you get it if he does violate it you can immediately call the cops and have it handled.
Keep putting yourself first and stay safe,
hugs
Maylie
Even after you get it please change locks, always have a phone on you, and just be aware of your surroundings (not going out at night alone and things like that). I am not trying to offend you, I know that you know it is just a piece of paper, but sometimes in crisis we get that piece of paper and think that we are safe. At least once you get it if he does violate it you can immediately call the cops and have it handled.
Keep putting yourself first and stay safe,
hugs
Maylie
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
A friend of mine from here, several years ago, was almost killed by her bf. He kidnapped her, drove her out to the country and had weapons to finish her off. It was only because he allowed her to call her daughter to take the dog out (yeah, he cared about the DOG, not her) and her daughter was able to get hold of the police who tracked them, that she was rescued.
PLEASE get the restraining order and get out. I know it's hard, but this is your life, sweetie, and he's already proven it doesn't mean anything to him.
Also, please keep checking in. Yes, I'm still codie enough that I want to see you here, to know you're not someone that's going to disappear and we won't know if he got you or not. We do care.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
PLEASE get the restraining order and get out. I know it's hard, but this is your life, sweetie, and he's already proven it doesn't mean anything to him.
Also, please keep checking in. Yes, I'm still codie enough that I want to see you here, to know you're not someone that's going to disappear and we won't know if he got you or not. We do care.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Is he still in the apartment, and did you stay in the apt? Please go to your parents house now. Please get that restraining order. He'll being doing drugs again today, tomorrow, the next day, etc...
Not that it matters, but what was his reaction after the police officers left?
Was he apologetic? If he was, you can be assured that will not last for long. If he wasn't things are going to go downhill from here, and become more dangerous everyday. Things are going to go downhill either way.
Lots of great advice given here, also if you want him out, a restraining order may be about the only way to do it.
If you are afraid to do this alone, do you have the cops name and number, or just his name, it should be on the restraining order. I'm sure that he will help you.
Take care of yourself.
Not that it matters, but what was his reaction after the police officers left?
Was he apologetic? If he was, you can be assured that will not last for long. If he wasn't things are going to go downhill from here, and become more dangerous everyday. Things are going to go downhill either way.
Lots of great advice given here, also if you want him out, a restraining order may be about the only way to do it.
If you are afraid to do this alone, do you have the cops name and number, or just his name, it should be on the restraining order. I'm sure that he will help you.
Take care of yourself.
box of chocolates
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
go to the police make a report. im sure if it comes down to it they can tell the difference between screwdriver marks and finger nails.
plus you have a perfect record and are a student. dont let him scare you into staying with him. this is a abuse and the police have seen the same sort of situations time and time again. dont let him fool you, he wotn win on this.
plus you have a perfect record and are a student. dont let him scare you into staying with him. this is a abuse and the police have seen the same sort of situations time and time again. dont let him fool you, he wotn win on this.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
even if it is a piece of paper it is a record that will follow him. I so regret not charging my ex husband with DV and getting a restraining order. Mainly because there is no paper trail.
He was horrible to another woman and she pressed charges. They were dropped because there was no history. Had I done what I should have done in the first place he would be held accountable for his behaviors.
This sounds like a very unsafe situation. I hope that you will do whatever it takes to be safe. I did not heed everyone's advice and was in a life threatening situation twice - because I thought that he (we) had things under control. This sort of behavior escalates.....
Please be safe.
He was horrible to another woman and she pressed charges. They were dropped because there was no history. Had I done what I should have done in the first place he would be held accountable for his behaviors.
This sounds like a very unsafe situation. I hope that you will do whatever it takes to be safe. I did not heed everyone's advice and was in a life threatening situation twice - because I thought that he (we) had things under control. This sort of behavior escalates.....
Please be safe.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
First, I can't believe that the police officer didn't file a restraining order, in my case they did, if they see any signs of injury they file it, you have no say. I had to be taken to the hospital. I was so out of it, I don't remember it. They told me they took x-rays or something. I had a goose egg on my head that was 2 inches long, an inch wide, and it protuded an inch. Then the next day the 2 black eyes showed up.
I was also sort of arrested, because I bit him during that attack. I was called down to police headquarters after getting out of the hospital to sign some papers. It was then that they told me that I was also being charged with domestic abuse.
So what happened
He was running away from home for about 6 months, would show up for a day or two the disappear again. He came home drunk, wanted dinner, told him I had dinner several hours ago. He started rolling plates back and forth from kitchen to den, I told him, if he wanted dinner to cook it himself. I was drinking, had 4 beers, went to sleep.
He woke me up 45 mins later. Was knocking at the bedroom door, I had locked him out. I let him in, thought he wanted to apologize. Sounded so sweet at the door.
He got in bed and started touching me all over, told him to "get out". He grabbed my arms, I couldn't move, that is when I bit him, then he punched me in the head.
I got up off the floor and called the cops. Gave my statement, I have no idea of what he told them. He was arrested, $2000. bail. Police put RO on him. He started to call me less than a week later, harassing me that he is not a rapist. Don't have any idea of what the cops had said to him that night.
Please get the restraining order, then keep yourself safe, no phone calls, no contact.
Have that paper trail.
This happened to me after being married to him for 21 years at that time. They get worse, they don't get better. But guess what, I still stayed, and it got a lot worse
I was also sort of arrested, because I bit him during that attack. I was called down to police headquarters after getting out of the hospital to sign some papers. It was then that they told me that I was also being charged with domestic abuse.
So what happened
He was running away from home for about 6 months, would show up for a day or two the disappear again. He came home drunk, wanted dinner, told him I had dinner several hours ago. He started rolling plates back and forth from kitchen to den, I told him, if he wanted dinner to cook it himself. I was drinking, had 4 beers, went to sleep.
He woke me up 45 mins later. Was knocking at the bedroom door, I had locked him out. I let him in, thought he wanted to apologize. Sounded so sweet at the door.
He got in bed and started touching me all over, told him to "get out". He grabbed my arms, I couldn't move, that is when I bit him, then he punched me in the head.
I got up off the floor and called the cops. Gave my statement, I have no idea of what he told them. He was arrested, $2000. bail. Police put RO on him. He started to call me less than a week later, harassing me that he is not a rapist. Don't have any idea of what the cops had said to him that night.
Please get the restraining order, then keep yourself safe, no phone calls, no contact.
Have that paper trail.
This happened to me after being married to him for 21 years at that time. They get worse, they don't get better. But guess what, I still stayed, and it got a lot worse
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 115
To take a screw driver to his face is particularly crazy babes. I managed to get hooked up with this guy once who I felt was particularly crazy. He scared me enough and I got out of that relationship. He would punch himself in the face...but to take a screwdriver...??!!!!! That jails now doing 6 years in jail for beating the hell out of his next girlfriend. I had a very lucky escape! I also know of another guy who gave his girlfriend brain damage. Crazy is as crazy does babes. Run like hell and don't look back!!!
Big hugs
Big hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
This is varsity level stuff.Blood has been shed (yours).That boundary has
been crossed.Should your response be to forgive....then the door is wide
open for escalation--- including life threatening actions.
Society does not condone this.It is a well recognized pattern,with firmly
established protocols to deal with all the ramifications of DV (dom violence).
Your S/O will have zero success in overriding these policies.For unlike
a terrified lady,society will respond appropriately up to and including deadly
force,should your S/O make the unfortunate decision to escalate.
The problem is twofold.First you must communicate,then a finite
amount of time must elapse before summoned aid can arrive.These
factors tilt the equation decidedly in the aggressors favor.
These facts are laid out like game theory,but this is no game.
This is your life----no reset---no Mulligans.Get that RO,inform the
civil authorities when even ONE of the conditions of the RO is even
TOUCHED.
Life will become VERY difficult for him VERY quickly...wife/GF
beaters are not only cowards....but fools who bring a pistol to
a tank battle.
The helpful people here are trying to impart a deadly serious message:
Your life is important.
No one gets to hurt you.
been crossed.Should your response be to forgive....then the door is wide
open for escalation--- including life threatening actions.
Society does not condone this.It is a well recognized pattern,with firmly
established protocols to deal with all the ramifications of DV (dom violence).
Your S/O will have zero success in overriding these policies.For unlike
a terrified lady,society will respond appropriately up to and including deadly
force,should your S/O make the unfortunate decision to escalate.
The problem is twofold.First you must communicate,then a finite
amount of time must elapse before summoned aid can arrive.These
factors tilt the equation decidedly in the aggressors favor.
These facts are laid out like game theory,but this is no game.
This is your life----no reset---no Mulligans.Get that RO,inform the
civil authorities when even ONE of the conditions of the RO is even
TOUCHED.
Life will become VERY difficult for him VERY quickly...wife/GF
beaters are not only cowards....but fools who bring a pistol to
a tank battle.
The helpful people here are trying to impart a deadly serious message:
Your life is important.
No one gets to hurt you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
I am surprised he didn't go to jail anyway - in my state if they make a DV visit somebody goes to jail. Its for the protection of both.
I hope you got that restraining order - sending prayers your way.
I hope you got that restraining order - sending prayers your way.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
