SoLongFarewell

Cause so much damage to our lives?

I got a text message today saying that I am a huge liar and I've been doing porn on the internet (I know that sounds silly but he was dead serious and I had a good chuckle about it earlier but now I'm just hurt). He goes off that his "friends" at work have been saying stuff about me and how he believes. Of course it's a pattern, they "say things", he believes it, and then a few days later, he doesn't?

Don't they realize the pain they cause alone just by going off on something as stupid as that? If there's one thing I hate, I hate being accused of ANYTHING. I've been accused probably hundreds of times already, over everything. Don't you realize that YOU and your "FRIENDS" are bullying/harrassing me? Spewing off slander about me that isn't true?

And at the end of the day, I'm just supposed to ignore it. Well...I don't know how.

I've been picked on all my life and never been good at handling it. I get very depressed easily. I wouldn't even sit here writing this if it didn't bother me, as ridiculous as the accusation was, I AM TIRED of being picked on. I'm tired of being an easy target for these LOSERS who do stupid sh*t and try to cover up their guilt. Done and tired of it.

I wish I could run away, I wish I could change my stupid phone number (I can't because of unpaid bills ) so I never have to hear from him again or anyone that he knows. I WISH I COULD GET AWAY.

Lara

[QUOTE=SoLongFarewell;3639553

I wish I could run away, I wish I could change my stupid phone number (I can't because of unpaid bills ) so I never have to hear from him again or anyone that he knows. I WISH I COULD GET AWAY.[/QUOTE]

HI SoLongFarewell.... it is a beyone frustrating process and I can 'hear' your pain and anger and almost a sense of disbelief. You can't change him. You can't change an addicts behaviour. And there is NO point dwelling on their actions, pondering and wondering how the hell they could do such things.... you can't change you past either. And there is NO point in worrying about the future. The future will take care of itself. The only time you have is NOW. This very moment. The very presence. You can change the very now. Begin with baby steps. If you see a text message don't even read it - just press delete! Don't allow you mind and emotions to dwell on him... for that is giving him more power - and it is a waste of your precious life. you only have one life - and it is a gift and it is precious - you are precious. So start to LIVE your life for YOURSELF. There is a whole world waiting for you - far away and beyond the barriers and confines of addiction....
You don't have to overnight change your personality and become 'tough and hard core' when faced with bullyin - but you can allow yourself the respect and diginity to walk away from slanderous commments. You don't have to make a big fuss. The true healing comes from within you - from your soul. When next you are confronted with an untruth / ugly sms or whatever - just let it 'wash off you'. Don't absorb the contents. Just ignore it. Protect yourself - protect your soul. Just ignore. It is not important. The only thing important is how you feel about yourself. Cherish yourself. Once you put yourself first - and respect yourself - things will begin to fall into place.....In God's eyes you are perfect - so how can any human being put you down....

dollydo

He knows your weak spots, addicts always aim for them, they can be ruthless. I would go no contact, block his number on your phone and computer.

I am sorry about this, try to move forward from him, he doesn't deserve you!

outtolunch

He's your X, right? Block his #. If for some reason, that's not possible, you alone have the power to delete his texts without reading them. You alone have the power to choose to ignore this garbage. That he says blah-blah-blah, does not make it so. Happiness is a choice.

If all else fails, give him my #. Being accused of internet porn would make my day.