learningtofly

Growing up with an alcoholic father and now married to a recovering addicted husband I find myself super sensitive to drugs and alcohol. I have seen firsthand what they do to people and their family.

I will have a drink a few times a month for social events or maybe a glass of wine with dinner occasionally. So it's not that I think it can't be done in moderation, however if I see people getting drunk I automatically think they are an alcoholic or find myself judging them!

I know just because you get drunk doesn't make you an alcoholic but I get anxiety when I see people drunk or on drugs. I don't know how to control my anxiety. I don't like that I feel this way sometimes. It really has a control over me. I say to myself that people are not alcoholic’s because they get drunk occasionally but I still find myself thinking in the back of my head.

Does anyone else experience this? I am starting to feel pretty crazy with this!

Ann

Me Too!!

I too rarely drink, the odd glass of whine with a nice dinner and that would be one single glass. I like the taste and it enhances the meal. I do not like the effects of more than one glass.

And I too avoid people who may be fine but have drank too much. I have seen too much of that in my life, and the more they drink the less they make sense.

I will go to weddings or places where people do have drinks, but I often will leave at 9 or 10 simply because that's the bewitching hour when things start getting loud and heading south.

It's okay to be us, it's okay not to drink at all, or to drink responsibly. And it's okay to choose not to be around people who party too much.

Hugs

HangOn

I also have this problem. I too feel like I judge people that occasionally go out and drink to the point of acting stupid and getting drunk. (But not to say that I myself have never gotten drunk, because I have). My dad is an alcoholic, and he denys it, but everyone that lives with him knows he's addicted to alcohol. This has affected the relationship I have with my husband. He's not an alcoholic by any means, nor does he have a drug problem. But when he drinks and gets buzzed, or even drunk I find myself instantly disliking him. And he rarely does at all. He's promised me that he will never get drunk again (or at least until I say its OK). And he's held his promise from the day two years ago that he promised it. But every time I see a drink in his hand I instantly feel like I can't trust him. Which is stupid cuz he's never given me a reason to not trust him.
It seems never being able to trust my dad with his drinking, is why I can't trust my husband. And it's sad because I want so badly to trust him :-( This is something I know I have to work through though.

Kindeyes

I understand. Drugs and alcohol have caused so much heartache in our family that the thought of taking a drink literally makes me sick. I used to feel like you do but I eventually got over it. I can be around people who drink responsibly and simply don't put myself in the position of being around people who drink too much. I don't look at it as a judgement....just a personal preference. They have the right to live as they choose...and so do I. Live and let live.

Perhaps recognizing that you aren't making a judgement of others as much as you making a choice for yourself.....and that's ok!

gentle hugs
ke

Ann

Well said, Kindeyes, as always. Yes, for me it's about what I choose for myself and not a judgement of anyone who chooses differently.

Kindeyes

Ok Ann...you made me giggle....would you like some cheese with that whine?

Love you!
ke

lesliej

I know that there are trauma releasing exercises that you can do...
I had a bad car wreck and I get skittish whenever something moves to close by my face, like even if its someone waving their hands when they talk...
it's that re-traumatizing trigger effect...
some rehab places focus specifically on trauma
understanding a little about childhood trauma has helped me...especially in the areas of self-care, gentle understanding/embracing of my own boundaries and acceptance of my sensitivity.
hope this helps...

didn't mean to whine or anything

learningtofly

Thank you for this reminder! It seems that alcohol is just "the thing to do" at social gatherings. It seems that whenever someone has a party or holiday or birthday or anything where people gather there is always drinking. Is this me or does it seem this way to others also? I have even been to toddler birthday partya and baby showers and there way alcohol. Does this seem crazy to anyone else?

I think I need to spend some time thinking about my boundaries when it comes to this!

Leaving before the bewitching hour is a good start.

learningtofly

I think part of the problem is I have alot of friends that drink heavily and I no longer am OK with that. I think I may have out grown my friends! I can see clearly that I need to take responsibility for my choices and if I'm not OK with them drinking then leave early, don't hang out with them when i know they will be drinking or find new friends! It is about making better choices and making choices for ME not about what others are doing or even what the majority might be doing . . . . . who cares it's what I want to do and it's OK!! woohhooo that feels great lol

It's OK to say I don't want to go to the party because I don't want to be around ppl acting a fool! It's OK for me to say I want to leave early even though it's only 9 or 10 o'clock. Who cares if they say I'm being a party pooper lol

It's so simple but seems so hard sometimes!!! Thanks kindeyes . . . . thank you for bringing that to light for me : )

EJG123

I don't think that everyone I see drunk is an alcoholic, but I do know one or two who are bonafide alcoholics and it saddens me to see them drunk. The worst is my brother-in-law who I love dearly but can hardly stand to be around anymore.

Anaya

Cool and uplifting!