EJG123

Softball- I have a 23 yo AD also. As long as she respects my boundaries, I am okay with being in contact with her despite the fact that she is not in recovery. She knows I won't tolerate manipulation or disrespect.

Softball27

Help. So, my daughter who is an addict, has been gone now for about a month. We do have some contact with her, she did get a job, but, I just found out today that she quit going(did not call, just stopped going) So, I get a call from her about a half hour ago, saying that she did not get her check today that she was expecting and that she has a job interview about 60 miles away that a friend of hers from hair school got for her, and she does not have away to get there. So, I told her that I could take her and then she said thats her calling (meaning the friend that got the interview for her) so she told me she would call me back(which she has not done yet) I think that she must still be using since she already lost her job that just a week and half ago told me how well she was doing and that now she would have money to get insurance on her car and get it licensed and start giving us a payment on it so, that she could finally get it back. (She has had to rely on someone else to give her rides to and from work. I should also add that she is living with a so-called friend who is also an addict and the friends mother. The mothers house is right next door to some apartments where more so-called friends live who are also addicts. My daughter thought that this is what she had to do to hit bottom to get better???????????????? Is it just her excuse to be away from us, not having to deal with our boundaries, so that she can do whatever she wants, whenever she wants?????????? Help. What should I do????

suki44883

You don't have to do anything. You don't even have to give her a ride to her "job interview." Why did she quit the job she had? How did she think she was going to get to interviews? If she has no car, how is she going to get to a job 60 miles away?

Doesn't sound like she's done using yet. Perhaps no contact would be best for you.

Softball27

Thank you so much. I need support, I want to help her so much but, I just do not know what to do anymore.

Softball27

Thank you, I know I need to let her go but, it is so hard knowing that she is destroying herself.

tjp613

I can't count how many times I've heard a story like that...and got another one handed to me yesterday! All he wanted was a $25 bus ticket to get to a job and I said "no". I told him to please not to call his father or me when he needs something, that it is a part of 'growing up' (he's 22!!) to come up with solutions that don't involve breaking the law or calling mommy and daddy. He agreed and said he understood. And guess what? He found a ride all on his own.