Seren

You could pack his meds with dry ice and ship them overnight to the jail. Just a thought.....

tjp613

washbe2 - I can't imagine how on earth they could deny him essential medication!?! They'd have lawsuits flying left and right...not to mention it would be considered cruel and unusual punishment to withhold it. You have to do what you have to do, but I think I would try to let it go....go back and read your brother's letter as many times as it takes. I'm sorry -- I know it's easier said than done. I wish I had the magic words to comfort you. Can you take a half hour to get still and meditate or pray?

washbe2

Okay. After considering my first decidion and my brother's advice, I have decided to stick with it. Unless I receive a call within the next few minutes, I am going to son's camper, get his meds, and take them to the jail.

Hydrogirl, mailing wouldn't help, because his place is near the jail and not near me. That's where his meds are.

I feel okay with this and feel better after having thought before reacting. Always a good thing.

LoveMeNow

Ok Washbe. You are doing what you feel is best. Be safe and God Bless!!

Freedom1990

Thinking instead of reacting to a situation is a good thing. You thought, and are going to take action.

We do the best we can each day with what we have.

Sending you hugs of support!

BeavsDad

Learning to "wait for the question" has been the hardest part of my codie training.

LoveMeNow

IMHO, I think if your son refuses to take his medicine which may just be the case....you will really need to seriously consider letting go and allowing God take over....just God with no interference.

JMFburns

SundaysChild, thank you for such a powerful post and for eloquently putting into words exactly what I was feeling and thinking.

washbe2, I wish you peace and serenity. I pray you can find a balance between doing what you feel you HAVE to do and what you want to do. I know how hard the line is to decide.

SadHeart

I'd call his doctor and ask his doctor to talk to the jail. They have to provide care or be held neglient. If he is crippled because of their lack of medical attention while he's in jail, your son has a lawsuit against them.

If I didn't know the name of the doctor, I'd have a lawyer call the jail. But other than that I'd let it go. I wouldn't go driving any where. I wouldn't jeopardize myself financially with bondsmen.

You did your part, you notified the jail of their responsibility. If they choose not to provide medical attention to someone in custody, they will eventually bear the consequences. If your son doesn't manage his addiction he very well may end up crippled, if not now, then some other time. And if that happens, it's not your fault or blame.

crazybabie

Unfortunately, I have dealt with our local jail under similar circumstances and the fact that they can be sued means nothing the county I live in has many lawsuits out against them but never have had to pay but one.

I think you have made the decision you can live with and from there it is up to the jail.

Hugs,

washbe2

I'm back. Went to camper..what a mess! Got the antibiotic pump and 4 days of infusion with flushes and saline. They don't allow the pain patches or any other narcotic, so that will be tough. Guys at the jail were very nice. (Rare and appreciated) They want him out, obviously beause of the responsibility. There is a nurse on duty and son is in the medical unit.

They made a phone call to the DA and asked me to wait. DA said "no" to release with own recognizance especially due to son's record. Said he would go before judge tomorrow. Don't know what then. My guess is the useless drug court because it only takes money and changes nothing.

Honestly, I believe he is in a more sanitary place (it's nice and new) than his own place, so I feel good about that. Son tried to call once today, but I missed his call.

TJP, yes, I need to be still. I have a very hard time not multi-tasking. But I resolve today to do that very thing..no tv, no phone, no computer, no tasks..just sit, pray, and meditate.

I'm glad I took the meds, and glad I didn't bond him out. I'm sure he's angry at me, but he was angry with me before.

My younger son called today and asked what is up with AS? Said he had a message very early Sunday morning from brother apologizing for being such a screw up and telling him that he loved him. Concerned younger brother. AS has been so depressed lately. If only they realized where they have been doesn't matter so much; it's where you are going from here on that is important.

Prayers and hugs for all of the hurting parents and children. Thanks for allowing me to post and spill my guts so much.

Ann

Washbe, I am glad you did what felt right for you and hope you feel better now.

Please keep in mind that as long as he remains an active addict, the drama will be never-ending. Like you, I danced the dance but there came a time when I could dance no more.

Your health, your life, your marriage are things that you can contribute to and take care of. His addiction (and my son's too) are simply not our to control.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I know your sadness and keep your boy in my prayers.

Hugs

amaslow

I am glad you feel relief.. I think you did the right thing.. There is a balance between letting go and taking care of ourself.. Taking those meds, was taking care of yourself as much as him, in my opinion.

They may have to consider transferring him to an acute care hospital if they can't provide what he needs. Sounds like he has a serious medical issue.. I can see your wanting to deal with this and advocate for appropriate care... You did not bail him out,.You acted to ensure that he did not have a long term serious complication when he could not effect the situation....Now the other stuff is up to him and he needs to be on his own!!

Kindeyes

washbe
It sounds like you did just fine. You feel better. Your son is safe and has his meds. I hope you can rest and sleep well tonight.

gentle hugs
ke

washbe2

Thank you all, dear friends. I will read and re-read your thoughts and concerns.

I may indeed call his doctor to call the jail and ask that he be able to receive the pain medication prescribed. The officer in charge mentioned that to me as well. I just have to think each step through carefully before taking any action.

I do care about each of you and your struggles and pray that you all find the peace and joy in your lives that is so deserved.

Nina Kay

Washbe,
I, for one, am glad that you decided to take him his medication since the illness is such a serious condition. I'm also glad that you didn't bail him out. For me, that is never an option. I also personally wouldn't do anything else, at all. That's just my humble 2 cents, for what's it's worth.

I'm very glad that you did what you could live with & only that. I hope that you can get some rest now or at least, peace of mind rest.

washbe2

After carrying the meds to the jail yesterday, son refused to connect to the pump. Said he wouldn't wear it while in jail?????! This caused issues, confrontation, force, strapped down, etc. Why can't he just comply? Partly death wish, partly manipulation to be released. And wouldn't you know it? He got his way!

Apparently afraid of the staph and liability, the judge allowed him to be released on own recognizance today. The jail administrator, who was very kind, called me later to let me know. Son never called until much later.

So five days with no antibiotic. I just know should he wind up paralyzed, he will have to live in a nursing home. I cannot and will not live with him. No one can. I love him because he is my son, but detest the way he lives his life.

Enough of that. Enjoying NatGeo tv tonight with hubby and planning on going to a photography seminar this weekend on weddings. I have two coming up and excited about that.

Blessings to all of you for listening during this most recent ordeal.

BeavsDad

Did he ever ask you to bring his meds to the jail?

outtolunch

Reading something like this is the reason why I continue to benefit from SR. Thank you.