tjp613

That's what I keep thinking, too... at least he keeps trying. It's something.

Thanks all for being here.

LoveMeNow

Prayers continue for all of all us and our addicted loved ones - in recovery or still active. May God give us all strength, courage and wisdom.

bookreader

So sorry about your son, but thanks for posting your bold angry question - yes, when will this hell end??? I know it is up to our kids, but sometimes you just gotta scream.
b.

PrayingMama

So sorry for you and your son, but he is trying. It's so hard, but we're all here to hold you up as only those who walk the same road can. My prayers continue for you, your son, and all of us. I pray God has mercy on our mothers' hearts. Stay strong.

Justfor1

The bright side he is willing to try again. People do get high even in rehab. He may have snuck something in or another rehabber might of given something to him. My cousin, an addict, was even getting high in a locked down psych ward.

tjp613

Yeah, he said another guy told him he had some being "delivered" but he was afraid to leave the grounds to go get it....told my AS he'd share with him if he'd take the risk of going off property to pick it up (at the end of the driveway). AS said he'd been tapered off the suboxone 2 days ago and was craving badly, having anxiey and panic attacks....and it just sounded like sweet relief. He said he'd also been working like a maniac on his 4th step and was having a lot of anxiety going thru that. He said they had to isolate him in the detox ward because he was crying so much for having messed up. His counselor, the doctor and the clinical director wanted to allow him to stay but the executive director lost his cool because this has happened TOO often lately and was rigid about kicking him out. They did give him a grocery bag full of energy bars and drinks and helped him make the calls for other rehabs. So, they treated him with kindness and respect (except for the CEO), which I appreciate. He apologized profusely and didn't ask for anything at all....just forgiveness. I just told him that I loved him and that I'd keep praying.

SeekingGrowth

TJP, I'm so sorry to hear about your son's relapse and the fact that he was kicked out of the rehab. The hold this stuff has on our loved ones is UNBELIEVABLE, isn't it? SUCH a battle, SO heartbreaking for all concerned. And these young people are just so ... well, young. How can they have the strength at this point in their lives to fight such a battle and win? I commend your son because he keeps trying. It's so hard, but he keeps at it. It's a good sign.

chicory

(((tjp))) holding your son and you in my heart, and in my prayers.

with each thing we go through, we usually get stronger. HP has him in His hands. And knows what your son needs.

sending you a big hug honey. try to get some rest, and remember to take care of yourself. you need rest to be able to stay sane and helpful. He is going forward, tho steps backward too. It sounds like he wants to get better.


love
chicory

Ann

(((TJP))) I went through this so many times too, TJP, and my heart hurts for you. After my son had been through a lot of rehabs as well, probably 10 in 4 different cities, I comforted myself with the thought that at least now he knows where help is and how to get there when he's ready. The Salvation Army programs are free, so I never had to worry about if he could afford it, and they are everywhere so I knew he could find one, if he sought one out.

I pray for my son every morning, and ask God to take care of him each day. And then I pray for all our loved ones here, including your son...but I think I will kick my prayers up a notch and really hope that somehow he feels led back to a good place.

Hugs from my heart to yours

SundaysChild

I'm so sorry. My son got high a week after he was supposed to "graduate" from an extended care program - he was a few days short of one year clean. He spent 4-5 weeks spiraling down, and finally reached out for help. While I wouldn't say he has surrendered and embraced recovery yet, he does have 18 days clean this time around. I am attempting to leave him be, and work on my own issues.

What I found helpful during those lost weeks was to have a plan for what to do when I'd start obsessing...sometimes I'd call an AlAnon friend or read literature...but what I found most helpful was to tackle a project I'd been procrastinating on...cleaning out a closet, getting rid of clutter, vacuuming behind furniture...something I could do that would occupy my mind AND improve my life when it was complete. It sounds silly...but it helped me not to think about him.

You and your son are in my prayers.

tjp613

Just thought I would post an update... My AS did go into another treatment center about a week after his relapse and has been there a couple of weeks. He's having a hard time with depression BUT seems to be working his program real hard. He's very proud to be on Step 8 and is anxious about doing his 9th step...but is determined to get through it. He's also asking my thoughts on taking the Vivitrol shots because he really wants to do that, too. I'm afraid to get very hopeful but I have to say this is the best he has sounded in a VERY long time. He said he was actually glad about that relapse because it showed him the power of his addiction like nothing ever has before. He is being very compliant with his counselors and his sponsor and is working hard. We shall see.

Thanks for your continued prayers, friendship and support....as always.

Ilovemysonjj

Thank you for the update TJP. Keeping you and your precious son in my prayers.
TT

Impurrfect

((tjp)) - Keeping your and your son in my prayers. As much damage as my relapse did, I needed it to finally accept that I was an addict and I had two choices...using or recovery. I'm grateful I'd finally gotten to the point where I truly knew I'd had enough and had to make some major changes. I'm praying your son is at that point, too.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Vale

tjp,
Nothing to add.....except we ALL hate this scourge as much as you do.
(and we are here for you)

SundaysChild

tjp,

After his relapse, my son did seek out his psychiatrist for naltrexone. After taking naltrexone for week, he transitioned to Vivitrol. He had his first shot about 2 weeks ago.

He is now a little over 30 days clean. What's really hopeful to me is that he is not in a formal rehab program and not being drug tested...so he has put together this 30 days without "supervision"...being responsible for himself. I was pretty scared about the Vivitrol, but he was adamant that this was what he needed. Over the past month he's started going to meetings again, started doing step work with his sponsor, and is going back to a troubled teens program he attended several years ago for a weekend to mentor.

He says that his relapse was "what he needed." I am trying hard to have no expectations, and take things one day at a time- I've actually ramped up my own recovery efforts.

I hope your son's relapse was a "stumble that prevents a fall."

tjp613

SundaysChild,

Thank you for your encouragment and sharing your son's experience with Vivitrol. After reading up on it I have to admit I was pretty shaken by the possible side effects, but then realized they can't be much worse than the effects of continued heroin use! The studies also are encouraging and coupled with his real desire to be rid of this demon, he might just have a shot at getting his life back on track. I didn't even know Vivitrol existed until yesterday. I am encouraged and that feels pretty good for a change.

Thanks again.....to all of you. You are my rock.

Taking5

This. A thousand times this. The side effects of continued use for us alkies and addicts are jails, institutions and the morgue.

Kindeyes

Thinking of you and keeping you and your son in my prayers. This is tough stuff for a parent to deal with and you are doing it with such grace and strength. Thank you for sharing.

More gentle hugs
ke

lightseeker

just wanting to let you know that I am thinking about you and sending up prayers....this is a roller coaster and so full of stops and starts as well as hopes and dreams.

You are not alone and I do appreciate your comments about enjoying the good times and making some memories. It's all so bittersweet, isn't it?

I'm glad that your son is seeking other options. I'm waiting for the day when my son even recognizes or believes that he has a problem. It's all so frustrating.

Hope that you are having a good day today.