Strong-Willed
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: not sure
Posts: 452
Strong-Willed
Most addicts are strong/willed. As least that's my experience. My AS wins the prize on that one. Here is an example:
. Early December an ugly episode at my home when I called police because AS was delusional and I was frightened for him.
. For over 2 hours he held himself in a bedroom and refused to come out though there were about 20 emergency vehicles here at the time, family begging till authorities ran us out of my house.
. He had a buck knife with him which he purchased on a trip.
. Tear gas wound up being used to get him out. It took two rounds and the windows of my house blown out in that room.
. He was taken in and sent to a hospital for 2 weeks for evaluation. Determined to be all drug induced - not a mental illness.
. Police confiscated the buck knife and son recently called about getting it back since there was not a charge against him for that night.
. At first said it would be ok. Then a supervisor called and said no way would he get the knife back which AS didn't like and said they could not legally keep,it.
.AS calls higher up, and they said to call the probate judge about it.
. Probate judge says to call the mayor. I'm just not arguing thinking he's spinning his wheels for nothing. He has other knives. Just let it go.
Mayor says he will look into it. This was yesterday.
. Late yesterday afternoon, PD calls and says that AS can come pick up his knife!
All the way to the mayor!!
My thought is this: if addicts can be that determined to have their way, why can't that strong will be used for good? Imagine what they could accomplish!
If only......
. Early December an ugly episode at my home when I called police because AS was delusional and I was frightened for him.
. For over 2 hours he held himself in a bedroom and refused to come out though there were about 20 emergency vehicles here at the time, family begging till authorities ran us out of my house.
. He had a buck knife with him which he purchased on a trip.
. Tear gas wound up being used to get him out. It took two rounds and the windows of my house blown out in that room.
. He was taken in and sent to a hospital for 2 weeks for evaluation. Determined to be all drug induced - not a mental illness.
. Police confiscated the buck knife and son recently called about getting it back since there was not a charge against him for that night.
. At first said it would be ok. Then a supervisor called and said no way would he get the knife back which AS didn't like and said they could not legally keep,it.
.AS calls higher up, and they said to call the probate judge about it.
. Probate judge says to call the mayor. I'm just not arguing thinking he's spinning his wheels for nothing. He has other knives. Just let it go.
Mayor says he will look into it. This was yesterday.
. Late yesterday afternoon, PD calls and says that AS can come pick up his knife!
All the way to the mayor!!
My thought is this: if addicts can be that determined to have their way, why can't that strong will be used for good? Imagine what they could accomplish!
If only......
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Wow.....that is determination.
It is also an example of how extremely twisted this disease is.......the Mayor was probably saying "What the heck? Give him the stinking knife back. Why is this even landing on my desk?" And he's right.....how the heck did it get all the way there?
There is no doubt that addicts are extremely resourceful.
gentle hugs
ke
It is also an example of how extremely twisted this disease is.......the Mayor was probably saying "What the heck? Give him the stinking knife back. Why is this even landing on my desk?" And he's right.....how the heck did it get all the way there?
There is no doubt that addicts are extremely resourceful.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: In a better place
Posts: 282
Sheesh. My own RAS has even mentioned in the past that if he brought all the energy and drive to living productively that he has invested in self-destructive activity, who knows what he could accomplish?
Um, duh.
Um, duh.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
I was very mischievous in jr high. A very close to exasperated nun asked me (very patiently and kindly) to "imagine all the amazing things you could do, if you directed all that energy towards productive things."
I needed someone to say that to me, and her timing was perfect. As you can see, I've always remembered. More importantly, I've done and still do my best, to live it.
I pray every strong willed person receives that same message, at the exact moment it will be taken to heart.
I needed someone to say that to me, and her timing was perfect. As you can see, I've always remembered. More importantly, I've done and still do my best, to live it.
I pray every strong willed person receives that same message, at the exact moment it will be taken to heart.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
My son was strong willed to the point of being bull headed, had no respect for authority and would go to all ends to have things his way.
I have always hoped that one day if/when he finds recovery, he will be as determined to make it work as he has everything else.
Hugs, Washbe,...we are powerless *dang it*
I have always hoped that one day if/when he finds recovery, he will be as determined to make it work as he has everything else.
Hugs, Washbe,...we are powerless *dang it*
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
I do believe it is strong will that has been turned into:
Self Will Run Riot.
It sure was for me. I have always been 'bull headed' and 'stubborn.' However, my affliction of addiction warped it somehow into using that strong will as self will to continue to get my drugs, alcohol first and then certain drugs (prescription and otherwise). Until I hit my personal bottom, that would not change and did kill me!
Now, once I found recovery, and for me it was a 12 Step Program, and I worked those steps, identified my defects of character and asked for help from the Higher Power of my choosing, and became WILLING to have those defects removed, something happened. What had become defects, were slowly becoming assets. My bullheadedness and stubbornness became my tenacity to finish a job, or project. I had always been a great 'starter' but a 'chitty finisher'.
My over analyzing and judgmental-ism became compassion and understanding.
and so on.
I have also become aware of something else since being in recovery these many years, most, I won't say all, but most A's have this 'stubbornness, bullheadedness and deep sensitivity' and I do believe for many of us we found that when we self medicated, in the beginning, it made us more able to handle 'life' without feeling so devastated and unable to 'help' anyone, ourselves included.
I have seen so many A's (alcoholics and addicts) find recovery, get past the mind fog, and learn how be a civilized productive member of society and take those same 'defects', turn them into 'assets' and go for the 'brass ring' and 'make it.' They have become judges, lawyers, doctors, dentists, CEO's, small business owners, a vital asset to the company they work for, etc
One in particular became a dear friend. She ran for and became the Governor of her state. Was known nationally until the day she passed as a "Pistol Packin Mama." She was a 'hoot', outspoken, didn't follow 'party politics' and managed to accomplish a great deal in her sober life. She passed almost 6 years ago now, at the young age of 73 and was like the older sister to me that I never had. I still miss her very much. She certainly was one of my 'positive role models' in my own recovery (she had 2 years on me, lol)
I write this to continue to give 'hope.' Yes, stand back from the A, give them room to get to their worst, but please never give up, many can and do make it in life, EVENTUALLY.
Actually (((((WASHBE2))))) this story you relayed about your AS gives me hope for your AS. He's still 'got it', now he has to hit his bottom, to realize his 'got it' can be used for much greater things.
Hope everyone has a great weekend, our Canadian friends to celebrate their Independence Day tomorrow, and here in the States whether they use this weekend or next weekend to celebrate our Independence Day which falls on Wednesday this.
"It's Summertime and the Living is easy ........................"
Love and hugs,
Self Will Run Riot.
It sure was for me. I have always been 'bull headed' and 'stubborn.' However, my affliction of addiction warped it somehow into using that strong will as self will to continue to get my drugs, alcohol first and then certain drugs (prescription and otherwise). Until I hit my personal bottom, that would not change and did kill me!
Now, once I found recovery, and for me it was a 12 Step Program, and I worked those steps, identified my defects of character and asked for help from the Higher Power of my choosing, and became WILLING to have those defects removed, something happened. What had become defects, were slowly becoming assets. My bullheadedness and stubbornness became my tenacity to finish a job, or project. I had always been a great 'starter' but a 'chitty finisher'.
My over analyzing and judgmental-ism became compassion and understanding.
and so on.
I have also become aware of something else since being in recovery these many years, most, I won't say all, but most A's have this 'stubbornness, bullheadedness and deep sensitivity' and I do believe for many of us we found that when we self medicated, in the beginning, it made us more able to handle 'life' without feeling so devastated and unable to 'help' anyone, ourselves included.
I have seen so many A's (alcoholics and addicts) find recovery, get past the mind fog, and learn how be a civilized productive member of society and take those same 'defects', turn them into 'assets' and go for the 'brass ring' and 'make it.' They have become judges, lawyers, doctors, dentists, CEO's, small business owners, a vital asset to the company they work for, etc
One in particular became a dear friend. She ran for and became the Governor of her state. Was known nationally until the day she passed as a "Pistol Packin Mama." She was a 'hoot', outspoken, didn't follow 'party politics' and managed to accomplish a great deal in her sober life. She passed almost 6 years ago now, at the young age of 73 and was like the older sister to me that I never had. I still miss her very much. She certainly was one of my 'positive role models' in my own recovery (she had 2 years on me, lol)
I write this to continue to give 'hope.' Yes, stand back from the A, give them room to get to their worst, but please never give up, many can and do make it in life, EVENTUALLY.
Actually (((((WASHBE2))))) this story you relayed about your AS gives me hope for your AS. He's still 'got it', now he has to hit his bottom, to realize his 'got it' can be used for much greater things.
Hope everyone has a great weekend, our Canadian friends to celebrate their Independence Day tomorrow, and here in the States whether they use this weekend or next weekend to celebrate our Independence Day which falls on Wednesday this.
"It's Summertime and the Living is easy ........................"
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Originally Posted by cynical one 
Uhhhh...have you ever read around this board? I don't think being strong-willed is reserved for only addicts.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
If someone is that selfish then it's not likely that they'll use whatever they have for good.
But, on the other side of that coin is those that stay in addiction, remain self centered self will run riot ashhats. I was one of the worst before recovery!
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Sunshine, Sea Breeze & Palm Trees
Posts: 282
my point is mis-interpreted. everyone is selfish to some extent. i'm just saying.. "sometimes"strong will (which appears to be a quality) is just a form of selfishness hence the "aka my way or no way".
the more selfish someone is, the less likely they'll be considerate of another person.
Pardon me for not making the last sentence "If someone is that selfish then it's not likely that they'll use whatever they have for good" a little more clear. It was not intended to be a "all or nothing" meaning.
I guess I should have said "... then it's LESS likely that they'll use whatever they have for good"
Either way, dont be surprised!
the more selfish someone is, the less likely they'll be considerate of another person.
Pardon me for not making the last sentence "If someone is that selfish then it's not likely that they'll use whatever they have for good" a little more clear. It was not intended to be a "all or nothing" meaning.
I guess I should have said "... then it's LESS likely that they'll use whatever they have for good"
Either way, dont be surprised!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Sunshine, Sea Breeze & Palm Trees
Posts: 282
Strong willed.. in another context... trying to save the addict in active addiction. Well I guess, such "Strong Will" is the product of something else.
Motives? Self validation? Ego? Love? ...
hopefully it all leads to the the lesson of Letting Go.
Motives? Self validation? Ego? Love? ...
hopefully it all leads to the the lesson of Letting Go.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: not sure
Posts: 452
Laurie, thanks for the post. It gave me a renewed hope.
I do think some of the strong will is a form of selfishness and is certainly not always a
" quality", but for those who do direct it in a positive form, oh my, the things that can be accomplished. It takes a strong will to have the determination to get things done whether it's completing a project, running for governor, giving up drugs. If put to good use, which would be better - a strong will or a weak will? I would choose strong.......if only.
I do think some of the strong will is a form of selfishness and is certainly not always a
" quality", but for those who do direct it in a positive form, oh my, the things that can be accomplished. It takes a strong will to have the determination to get things done whether it's completing a project, running for governor, giving up drugs. If put to good use, which would be better - a strong will or a weak will? I would choose strong.......if only.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Sunshine, Sea Breeze & Palm Trees
Posts: 282
Originally Posted by washbe2
a strong will or a weak will? I would choose strong.......if only.
I respect so much of those people in recovery, especially those in recovery that are now helping others struggling. My recovering alcoholic girlfriend hasn't drink for 10 years now and she is still attending meetings 3 times a week for herself. She also help out friends and families of those that are or were involved with addicts (like myself). She is also a mother of a beautiful little girl and a black belt in Brazilian jiu jitsu (super tough martial arts). I look at her and I have so much respect and admiration for the human being she is today. To me, THAT's Strong Willed.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
