pinkchampagne

no you said it fine. I got what you meant but the others made me laugh,.

My boyfriend is why Im on here. He used to use drugs but he quit, but he is still dealing with past things that happened.

I dont know if I want to meet eveyone they were sort of mad at me the other day because they didnt like my comments on some stuff. But we are supposed to say what we think right? that is the point to hear others opinions.

Windmills

Do you know what? I am SO poor. I can't afford clothes, I can't afford the furniture my apartment needs, I can't afford many things is like to have. I can feed myself and my daughter and clothe her, I can get us to the places we need to be (DV project, nursery, my meeting, play dates). I couldn't even imagine being able to afford a weekend away.
Im a single mother, I'm 21. I live in a lovely apartment in a kind of rough area, it's not ghetto or anything but there are a lot of immigrants and it's social housing. I'm in the UK do I get benefits but I'm in a lot of debt thanks to my total denial of what my ex was up to.
My point is that I'm no saint. I get sad sometimes. I wish I could do more and have a car and go on nice holidays. I used to have money, my ex owned a club at one point and I was a personal assistant to a chief exec in the civil service. I wasn't happy then, I was sad and lonely and miserable. I was living in a violent relationship with a man who's main goal was to keep me isolated and unhappy.
Today I'm free. Myself and my daughter can laugh, joke, play music and dance, come in and out as we please. I can talk on the phone to whoever I want. I can read or watch a DVD or get a bath without being told whether I'm allowed to do that or not.
I'm not saying I'm a SAINT. I'm just saying I'm HAPPY. Not all of the time, sometimes I cry and I feel lonely and wish I could rewrote history. But I'm way happier than I was, and money doesn't even enter into things. I'd rather live this way.

Endofline

Well then it's not the money that made you unhappy, it the man who you were in a controlling dysfunctional relationship with.

Windmills

Thanks Sherlock. My point was that if you offered me £1 million to go back, I wouldn't. I value my sanity and physical safety.

Jody675

endofline...generally the answer isn't if i had MORE money, its how can i make what i EARN cover what i want. substitute the o/s holiday escape for a nice picnic by the beach, or a camping weekend. look at your finances and come up with a plan of attack. look at where you (or others) are no being wise with your hard earned cash. you will come out the other end if you find value in the little moments, reward yourself for you sacrifices, and make some tough choices. this comes from someone who was in debt for over 400grand in a mortgage, and 20g in credit card debt, and 30g in person loan. i too wanted a magical fairy to come and take all my troubles away. it wasn't til i hit rock bottom when i almost lost my job, my drivers license, and my car blew up that i made some tough changes. today, 285 mortgage (sold my old house and downsized) and 7g in credit card debt, own my car, my motorbike, camping every school holidays, o/s holiday every second year, pays bills on time. get some financial advise and you will find away to get through this. although right now an o/s holiday does seem nice, when you get home its still the same ****** reality. hope you get through this soon, because no amount of money makes financial problems go away. it actually only changes the amount when you get into trouble.

Endofline

Windmills, you seem really angry. Of course you wouldn't go back to a miserable man for any amount of money! If you met a wonderful one or didn't and just stayed alone though and it included money it gives you the opportunity to do more than you can without that wouldn't be a bad thing. This is all I was saying.

CanfixONLYme

Endofline - get lots of money and then come back to us with your "theory". Money solves lots of "problems" but there are always other ones (just as bad or worse) just waiting in the wings.

You seemed to have never been in the position of having lots of money, so really, how would you know?! I on the other hand have (as well as others on here).

it's a fantasy that you may have that gets you through the day. might be something you need to do to stay sane ... Just realize that it is just a fantasy and until you actually live in the reality, don't be so quick to judge others responses esp if you've never experienced wealth.

outtolunch

Small world. I lived in Holmdel and Montclair before that.

outtolunch

Could you motivate yourself to get involved with say Habitat for Humanity, in Mommouth Cty. There's an office in Spring Lake.

Endofline

To onlycanfixme , why so judgmental I Never said money can solve your problems I only said it can ease the stress of you financial situation. If you read my posts it said I have had and have not had at times, why would you assume I never had. I have had a million dollars in the bank at times maybe that's not a lot of money to you it's all relative but to a lot of people that's a nice little nest egg. We have owned country clubs property and business. Why are you twisting and assuming you know anything about me that's not what this site is for. And I never said it could solve Anyones problems but to the contrary said look at all the famous successful people and they still aren't happy. What they can do though is not worry about money. THANK YOU VERY MUCH TO EVERYONETHAT ****** UP THIS POST,

LoveMeNow

Endofline - I do understand what you meant. I could be miserable in Hawaii, getting massages, facials, mani/pedis, room service. It certainly sounds like it would beat being miserable at home, doing laundry, cleaning my house or stressing about my bills.

The point is misery is misery...no matter where you are. And living in that fantasy world only made me more depressed with the choices I have made and my "lot" in life.

Please don't misunderstand, I have been very blessed in many, many ways and it is those blessings that I need to be grateful and focus on. The would've, should've, could've, and what if's are dangerous territory for me and it doesn't help me work toward my goal....and that's to get healthier.

Endofline

Yes lovemenot I just don't want anyone assuming they know something about me when they certainly don't. And twisting what I said and Im not in a fantasy world I have actually experienced in reality both. Thank you for all your post I generally agree with most of your views. Doesn't matter if I don't that's what makes the world an interesting place that we are all individuals and should respect one anothers opinions . The funny thing is this is the lest important post I have made and for some reason people keep it going when it was merely a fleeting thought I was having looking at a tabloid magazine. Too funny people should be so interested when it's actually important

CanfixONLYme

EndofLine --I'm posting my answer to you here since you PMd me with the same question above --- I guess I don't understand your thread, your writing techniques nor train of thought on this subject so I will refrain from posting on this particular thread anymore.

Have a good night k? I don't wish you any more grief
Than what you're going through with your life.

Hugs,

Ann

I am closing this thread because it has become confrontational and that's not good for anyone's recovery. I think the original poster was perhaps misunderstood, but there is no reason for anyone to strike out here.

Take a deep breath gang, gather some cool, and remember that we are all here to help each other.

Thank you for understanding.

Ann