I am giving myself a pat on the back....
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
I am giving myself a pat on the back....
It wasn't that long ago, I couldn't even make a simple decision. I would anguish over the simplest things. Then I would seek my husband's input. I was seeking the input of an addict, whose mind was altered - how sick is that??? Of course, he fought me on repairs because he had other "plans" for our money. He needed his pills.
Well today, I got the pool pump fixed. I did include him in some of it but I was doing it NO MATTER what. He laughed and told the pool repair man, fix it please, $400.00 is worth making her happy and keeping my sanity. The man laughed and said "it sure is, I am married too, I hear you."
Then the washing machine broke (ugh, on a weekend too)...I called a repair man, they came out, took it - it will be back Monday afternoon. Another $200.00 in repairs.
I made the decisions, right or wrong (often times, I get ripped off and I have no knowledge of this repairs man's reputation). Didn't matter, I MADE the decision. I didn't call him, I didn't involve him and I don't care what he may or may not have said. I am more then competent to make my own decisions on what I want or need done.
Lastly, I actually encouraged my husband to go golfing. (It didn't take much, lol). He hasn't golfed the last 2 weekends, we had spent quality time together and this Saturday, I just wanted to do my own thing.....so by all means...go golfing. His selfish, addict personality is what I had an issue with, not the golf. Even that was confusing to me.
On his way to the golf course, I got the nicest call. He called to tell me how much he loves me, how much I meant to him, how his NA support group 3 guys) told him last night how appreciative he should be that I stayed with him and that I am willing to support HIS recovery without resentment. And how they respect that I too am working on my recovery with Alanon and a therapist. He said he already know that but it was nice to be reminded.
Codependent or not, it still felt great to hear him say it with sincerity. But I will not allow this to put me in a false sense of security. He doesn't have much clean time. He can not be my happiness, it MUST come from within. And I will keep working toward that goal.
So just for today.....I feel at peace. My pool is clean and working, My laundry will have to wait. I will NOT allow that to cause me anxiety. I will get to when I get to it. And I will enjoy reading my alanon book.
The END!!
Well today, I got the pool pump fixed. I did include him in some of it but I was doing it NO MATTER what. He laughed and told the pool repair man, fix it please, $400.00 is worth making her happy and keeping my sanity. The man laughed and said "it sure is, I am married too, I hear you."
Then the washing machine broke (ugh, on a weekend too)...I called a repair man, they came out, took it - it will be back Monday afternoon. Another $200.00 in repairs.
I made the decisions, right or wrong (often times, I get ripped off and I have no knowledge of this repairs man's reputation). Didn't matter, I MADE the decision. I didn't call him, I didn't involve him and I don't care what he may or may not have said. I am more then competent to make my own decisions on what I want or need done.
Lastly, I actually encouraged my husband to go golfing. (It didn't take much, lol). He hasn't golfed the last 2 weekends, we had spent quality time together and this Saturday, I just wanted to do my own thing.....so by all means...go golfing. His selfish, addict personality is what I had an issue with, not the golf. Even that was confusing to me.
On his way to the golf course, I got the nicest call. He called to tell me how much he loves me, how much I meant to him, how his NA support group 3 guys) told him last night how appreciative he should be that I stayed with him and that I am willing to support HIS recovery without resentment. And how they respect that I too am working on my recovery with Alanon and a therapist. He said he already know that but it was nice to be reminded.
Codependent or not, it still felt great to hear him say it with sincerity. But I will not allow this to put me in a false sense of security. He doesn't have much clean time. He can not be my happiness, it MUST come from within. And I will keep working toward that goal.
So just for today.....I feel at peace. My pool is clean and working, My laundry will have to wait. I will NOT allow that to cause me anxiety. I will get to when I get to it. And I will enjoy reading my alanon book.
The END!!
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