Eat pray love
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Red bank nj
Posts: 68
Eat pray love
Sitting here watching eat pray love wish when my mRriage failed I could take off for a year and just concentrate on myself and explore new places people and things. I find this movie even more depressing. My children say my this is an uplifting movie full of hope bit they haven't walked in my shoes thank god and from where I'm standing I find it depressing.
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
I remember that movie. Funny thing I went with one of my girlfriends to see it, and we found it so boring that we walked out. I know it was really popular and there is a book and all, but we walked out.
I have been reading your posts. I think you just need some time.
Your story has been a lot like mine. My husband got hooked on pain pills after he injured his knee, and then he started usign other drugs too because he got hooked up with some guys he worked with.
My husband changed so much. He was acting like he was single too. He was wanting to hang out with his friends and come home middle of the night after using drugs. he didnt really cause us any money problems, but I sure would like back what he spent. Mostly it was just that this drug use did not fit with our marriage, and we fought. Then he told me flat out, he didnt want to quit, and after it sunk it, I realized then he just has to go do what he wants. Im not going to change his mind because he is nuts right now.
After arguing on night, he moved out.
We really had no contact for about a year. He took a work transfer and got an apartment, and started seeing another woman. That hurt especially because by now I found out I was pregnant with his child.
The truth is, that if he has turned into someone that you dont like, then you dont need to be with him. He is not the same man when high on drugs. he has different values, and different things make him happy.
What I believe about my husband is this. He felt rejected by me because I told him that I didnt like him anymore, what he was doing usign drugs was sick, and wrong, and I didnt want to be around him. I didnt want him like that. So he stayed with people, and picked up a woman who didnt mind any of that and let him feel ok about himself.
I never chased after him, because unless he wanted to change there was no point. I learned a lot, and I made mistakes. I do feel stronger now because I was alone. I handled my pregnancy alone. I took care of our home, did all the things, I handled my work, the dog, etc. Sure I had help form family and friends but its not the same as havign your husband at your side.
Take some time for yourself. I went through a lot of stages. sadness, anger, regret, self hatred. But think about what you want out of life, and start thinking about how you can get there. just tiny steps to build yourself up. You will be ok if you keep moving forward.
I have been reading your posts. I think you just need some time.
Your story has been a lot like mine. My husband got hooked on pain pills after he injured his knee, and then he started usign other drugs too because he got hooked up with some guys he worked with.
My husband changed so much. He was acting like he was single too. He was wanting to hang out with his friends and come home middle of the night after using drugs. he didnt really cause us any money problems, but I sure would like back what he spent. Mostly it was just that this drug use did not fit with our marriage, and we fought. Then he told me flat out, he didnt want to quit, and after it sunk it, I realized then he just has to go do what he wants. Im not going to change his mind because he is nuts right now.
After arguing on night, he moved out.
We really had no contact for about a year. He took a work transfer and got an apartment, and started seeing another woman. That hurt especially because by now I found out I was pregnant with his child.
The truth is, that if he has turned into someone that you dont like, then you dont need to be with him. He is not the same man when high on drugs. he has different values, and different things make him happy.
What I believe about my husband is this. He felt rejected by me because I told him that I didnt like him anymore, what he was doing usign drugs was sick, and wrong, and I didnt want to be around him. I didnt want him like that. So he stayed with people, and picked up a woman who didnt mind any of that and let him feel ok about himself.
I never chased after him, because unless he wanted to change there was no point. I learned a lot, and I made mistakes. I do feel stronger now because I was alone. I handled my pregnancy alone. I took care of our home, did all the things, I handled my work, the dog, etc. Sure I had help form family and friends but its not the same as havign your husband at your side.
Take some time for yourself. I went through a lot of stages. sadness, anger, regret, self hatred. But think about what you want out of life, and start thinking about how you can get there. just tiny steps to build yourself up. You will be ok if you keep moving forward.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Red bank nj
Posts: 68
Thank you for sharing ,yes it seems that we had a similar situation that they changed after the drug use and we didn't and like you said it's hard to believe they would choose ot over a marriage that up until then was perfectly happy. Yes I know my husband was angry with me that I couldn't go along with it and he felt rejected by me and also found a group that nade him feel good about himself. Al ost same exact story. I'm sorry for your pain as well and again thank you for sharing
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Endofline -
Your husband is an addict. He loves his drugs. It is his obsession. He can not and will not care about anything else.
It's not personal, it's not rejection. It just what the addict mind does. He is obviously going to resent anyone who tries to stop him because he is not ready to stop.
What appears to be a great time, isn't always. Don't glamorize his life, he truly is in hell because he is using drugs for a reason and they control his thoughts and feelings. How glamorous is that??
If you love him, show him the way to healthy behavior by example. IMO, it's a win/win. Either he will join or not but either way..YOU will get healthier...you will eventually learn to care about YOU.
Be a person without a problem and YOU will be a person without a problem.
Your husband is an addict. He loves his drugs. It is his obsession. He can not and will not care about anything else.
It's not personal, it's not rejection. It just what the addict mind does. He is obviously going to resent anyone who tries to stop him because he is not ready to stop.
What appears to be a great time, isn't always. Don't glamorize his life, he truly is in hell because he is using drugs for a reason and they control his thoughts and feelings. How glamorous is that??
If you love him, show him the way to healthy behavior by example. IMO, it's a win/win. Either he will join or not but either way..YOU will get healthier...you will eventually learn to care about YOU.
Be a person without a problem and YOU will be a person without a problem.
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