grayduchess

My son, who had my truck and should have been off work in time for me to go to my first Al-Anon meeting, called to say he was hung up on a job 40 miles away right about the time I should have been putting on my shoes to go out the door. No public transportation where I live or even close.

To make matters much, much worse... I broke no contact

I might have managed to not stop when I saw him on the street the other day but it got inside me and I couldn't maintain...

Freedom1990

Be gentle with yourself!

I don't think there is a single soul here who hasn't taken a step forward and two steps back. I certainly am guilty of that, and have been in recovery from codependency a few years now.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and consider those slips as learning experiences.

Sending you hugs of support.

tjp613

Sounds just like something that would happen to me....and has...many times. Progress, not perfection! It's easy to get aggravated with ourselves, but being the parent of an addict is very, very hard emotionally. It goes against everything we are naturally wired to do. (((Hugs)))

LoveMeNow

I am sorry grayduchess for you pain. Deciding to go to Alanon is big first step, looking up where and when a meeting is a second big step.....so give yourself a pat on the back for that.

I am really hard on myself too, so I am learning to appreciate any of my accomplishments - no matter how small and trying to forgive myself for NOT be perfect.

I always thought fear was so harmful but I am learning my "built in" shame has really been more detructive. Knowing God loves and forgives me know matter what I do has really helped me not be so hard on myself anymore.

Kindeyes

Recovery Road is very crooked and sometimes it loops back on itself. As long as you keep going one direction and don't make a u turn, those loops and squiggly parts will straighten out. The loopy and squiggly parts of the road eventually get fewer and farther between but it seems they are always there sometimes. And that's ok. With work, time, patience and concentration.....we become better at navigating them.

Most of my days are good days now but that doesn't mean that I don't occasionally have a bad day.....or a bad couple of hours in the middle of a good day. It just is what it is.

gentle hugs to you
ke