washbe2

Well, I'm really trying to be strong and doing better, I think. Still seeing counselor and reading this forum. A real test is coming very soon.

Warned AS when he received check to store up for the month on necessities. I cannnot continue the path of giving. Five days later, calls wanting me to get stuff from pawn, "loan" him $500, give him title to camper. I am not doing any of it. So the threats have begun.

Says has to leave town. Says will not go back to prison. Says someone would die and it would probably be him. Is prepared. Only had a knife last time. Will be different now. Friend snitched on him. Says to prepare myself for what's about to happen. He thinks the police are after him. I say they would have been there if they wanted him.

Told him yesterdayI was prepared to accept whatever happens - even death. He said "cool". That makes it easier. He said he died years ago. He also just found out his dad's ex remarried quickly after his dad's death. Yesterday would have been dad's birthday, so that stirred up old feelings for him

I honestly don't know what to expect. I'm trying to prepare. I don't think I should alert anyone because I think he is just quacking to get his way, but then, I don't really know.

I know I probably shouldn't even respond to his messages. I really don't want anything horrible to happen, and know I can't stop it, so just keep hoping his heart will be touched with some little something to encourage him to not be crazy.

I need strength, wisdom, and courage. To do what? I don't know. I just know I'm working on all of these and feel some improvement, but then the bumpiest road is just around the curve.

Ann

(((Washbe))) You don't need to question yourself, you are doing the right thing.

Nothing you do or don't do will change what his future will hold. The requests for money never end, the "terrible things will happen to me" never fail to follow the denied request....and on it goes until they finally get tired of it all and maybe surrender and find a better path. My son did this many times...his problem was that he could never stay on it very long. *sigh*

I know your fear, it's a very valid fear that all of us who love addicts must face. But sweetie, we can't let that fear run our lives, if we do we live in darkness...I know because I lived there far too many years. Fear and worry never change the outcome. It's just not ours to control, but with prayers we can trust that God can do for us (and our addicts) what we cannot do for ourselves.

I'm sending big hugs of encouragement, because you are doing so well keeping your side of the street clean. It has been said here often "being the mother of an addict isn't for wienies".

I'm walking with you Washbe, let's wander over to the bakery and grab ourselves some cheesecake. Sharing cheesecake is like sharing recovery...it makes for nice friends.

Hugs

washbe2

I'll have chocolate please. Love the Cheesecake Factory. Wish you were nearby!

Thank you, Sweet Ann, for the encouragement. You can always make me smile.

You are right. I have lived in fear for far too long. The fear is almost worse than the actual happening. I've got to work on my faith more. It seems to have had a relapse, too. I can do this! ((((Thanks)))))

EJG123

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Making a mom fear for her kid's life is one of the worst things that an addicted kid can do. My AD made so many threats that eventually there was nothing more that I could do but tell her that I loved her but could not stop her. I knew it was true and saying so helped me to let go of my fear. My husband found some peace in knowing that it was pointless to grieve now when he will surely grieve when something bad actually happens. I hope you find your own way to cope. If coming here helps, then keep coming.

SoberMan2012

washbe2 sounds like somone is not treating themselves with love and respect, nor are they treating you with love and respect. I would let this person walk away. There is always somone else to love, and to love you. There is always somone else.

tjp613

(((washbe2))) I'm walking with you, too, sister. Let's just hang on for awhile...at least 'til we can get some cheesecake! Each day we learn to take care of ourselves a little better, thanks to good people like (((Ann))).

Hope you sleep well.

Scrapbooker

I hear this often through my son's counselor. We must not ask him to leave as he is suicidal. I am told there is no such thing as enabling, we must keep helping him. So sorry to hear this is common. I am keeping all of us in my prayers. Hope you have a good day. Take care of you.