He's overdosed and I'm paralyzed
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
Originally Posted by Loneywife 
I spent today doing what I wanted to do. Got my eyebrows done, manicure and pedicure and thought of just myself.
I've been calling around to extended stay and motels in my area and I've got to really think about it. They are so expensive. I will have to wait until AH comes home from the hospital to leave, as I'm taking care of his dog right now.
Thank you all.
I've been calling around to extended stay and motels in my area and I've got to really think about it. They are so expensive. I will have to wait until AH comes home from the hospital to leave, as I'm taking care of his dog right now.
Thank you all.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 216
LoneyWife:
Just wanted to send a hug and prayers your way, also.
I know what you mean when you say you are too emotionally exhausted to do anything. However, you are on the right track...manicures, etc. That you are even looking into another place to live (although temporary) is still a good sign.
I know for me, when I admitted and accepted a few things, it was at a snail's pace that I began putting some plans in action that would allow me to take care of me. I guess when we finally hit our bottom, we don't ever want to go there. That "bottom pain" gives me the drive to do something different.
You are in my thoughts and prayers,
Hope
Just wanted to send a hug and prayers your way, also.
I know what you mean when you say you are too emotionally exhausted to do anything. However, you are on the right track...manicures, etc. That you are even looking into another place to live (although temporary) is still a good sign.
I know for me, when I admitted and accepted a few things, it was at a snail's pace that I began putting some plans in action that would allow me to take care of me. I guess when we finally hit our bottom, we don't ever want to go there. That "bottom pain" gives me the drive to do something different.
You are in my thoughts and prayers,
Hope
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 159
Lonelywife - thinking and praying for you today. I think it is great you got the brows/mani and pedi done - good for you for taking care of yourself. I need my brows done too! Sometimes it is the little things we need to be grateful for.
How are you doing today?
How are you doing today?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: PM me....
Posts: 468
LoneyWife....
I too have been paralyzed. Mostly because I look around at everything...everything.....
and it's just TOO much to deal with all at once.
So....I rented a storage space. A small one. And I went to wally world and bought 10 plastic storage totes. All the same size and color.
I also bought a roll of bubble wrap and some packing tape. Stopped by the post office and got a few cardboard shipping boxes (the free ones).
Then I chose one room and went thru and sorted my things, my breakables....things that didn't need to be out. Etc.
Husband asked me what I was doing.....I said "early spring cleaning....do you have anything to go to salvation army or goodwill? if so....lay it next to this tote"
So...he thinks the tote is the donation tote that I use to carry things to SA or Goodwill.
The tote goes out full....and comes back empty.....
And little by little....I am moving my things out...at my own pace.
I too have been paralyzed. Mostly because I look around at everything...everything.....
and it's just TOO much to deal with all at once.
So....I rented a storage space. A small one. And I went to wally world and bought 10 plastic storage totes. All the same size and color.
I also bought a roll of bubble wrap and some packing tape. Stopped by the post office and got a few cardboard shipping boxes (the free ones).
Then I chose one room and went thru and sorted my things, my breakables....things that didn't need to be out. Etc.
Husband asked me what I was doing.....I said "early spring cleaning....do you have anything to go to salvation army or goodwill? if so....lay it next to this tote"
So...he thinks the tote is the donation tote that I use to carry things to SA or Goodwill.
The tote goes out full....and comes back empty.....
And little by little....I am moving my things out...at my own pace.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 119
Thank you all for your support. I had a friend's party today, and while I was sad about my situation, I was able to enjoy things there. I put my phone on silent, and just had a good time with the people I know that love me and care about me.
I'm sorry I just couldn't bring myself to call anyone yesterday during the day from Nar-anon. I knew that I would have been in worse shape mentally today for the party if I had poured my heart out even more about this situation. It was really important to me to be mentally present today.
I have my meeting tomorrow night, and I know I'll be able to talk about it then. Thank you all for your suggestions. I love the storage space and tote idea about moving the things out a day or two at a time. Makes a lot of sense, and sounds like something I might be able to actually follow through with.
I'm sorry I just couldn't bring myself to call anyone yesterday during the day from Nar-anon. I knew that I would have been in worse shape mentally today for the party if I had poured my heart out even more about this situation. It was really important to me to be mentally present today.
I have my meeting tomorrow night, and I know I'll be able to talk about it then. Thank you all for your suggestions. I love the storage space and tote idea about moving the things out a day or two at a time. Makes a lot of sense, and sounds like something I might be able to actually follow through with.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 119
An update:
The psychiatrist in charge at the hospital asked that I sign paperwork declaring AH mentally unfit and that he be admitted to the psych ward. The hospital was going to admit him to the psych ward whether I signed this paperwork or not. It really sucked to be in this position on my end.
AH is heartbroken and upset over this decision, and he is utterly miserable being on lockdown with the crazy people. I spoke to him briefly after he was admitted this evening. He will be there for around a week, and I'm hoping and praying that my in laws don't visit him while he's there (and potentially give him pills).
His dog and I miss him.
The psychiatrist in charge at the hospital asked that I sign paperwork declaring AH mentally unfit and that he be admitted to the psych ward. The hospital was going to admit him to the psych ward whether I signed this paperwork or not. It really sucked to be in this position on my end.
AH is heartbroken and upset over this decision, and he is utterly miserable being on lockdown with the crazy people. I spoke to him briefly after he was admitted this evening. He will be there for around a week, and I'm hoping and praying that my in laws don't visit him while he's there (and potentially give him pills).
His dog and I miss him.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: PM me....
Posts: 468
Lonelywife....
As I posted above...I am trying to unparalyze myself too.
I would LOVE to have a week to myself to get more things organized around here.
Many years ago...I had a job that I adored...but a boss that was the worst a-hole you could imagine. From time to time...I would get so fed up, I would call in sick and spend the day updating my resume. Often...that was just enough action to get me out of feeling stuck.
It didn't mean I had to quit. It didn't mean I had to act on anything...it just meant that I was READY....should a job become available that was as great as the one I had. And you know what? It DID happen....and I was damn lucky to have an updated resume with me that day.
I am looking at my current situation much the same. I am going thru clothes, closets, drawers...etc. etc. getting this house ready to go on the market. In the meantime, things are becoming organized. My things are going to the storage space I rented...
important papers are being copied and scanned into my computer for safe keeping.
And my personal belongings are being secured separately from anything of his.
In my mind...it's just me...getting my house in order (literally, emotionally and figuratively). I want all of this busy work done and not have that as an excuse to stay...because one thing I know....the sh*t will hit the fan. I just don't know how...or when.
As I posted above...I am trying to unparalyze myself too.
I would LOVE to have a week to myself to get more things organized around here.
Many years ago...I had a job that I adored...but a boss that was the worst a-hole you could imagine. From time to time...I would get so fed up, I would call in sick and spend the day updating my resume. Often...that was just enough action to get me out of feeling stuck.
It didn't mean I had to quit. It didn't mean I had to act on anything...it just meant that I was READY....should a job become available that was as great as the one I had. And you know what? It DID happen....and I was damn lucky to have an updated resume with me that day.
I am looking at my current situation much the same. I am going thru clothes, closets, drawers...etc. etc. getting this house ready to go on the market. In the meantime, things are becoming organized. My things are going to the storage space I rented...
important papers are being copied and scanned into my computer for safe keeping.
And my personal belongings are being secured separately from anything of his.
In my mind...it's just me...getting my house in order (literally, emotionally and figuratively). I want all of this busy work done and not have that as an excuse to stay...because one thing I know....the sh*t will hit the fan. I just don't know how...or when.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
If I recall, in NY, they can hold someone up to 60 days on an involuntary admission. That rarely happens unless there is insurance or some semblance of private pay for the obvious reasons that there is not enough money in the world to hold everyone who is a danger to themselves.
Given your husband's issues, it sounds like he is exactly where he belongs right now. He's alive and miserable versus self medicated and dead.
.
Given your husband's issues, it sounds like he is exactly where he belongs right now. He's alive and miserable versus self medicated and dead.
.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 119
Originally Posted by outtolunch
If I recall, in NY, they can hold someone up to 60 days on an involuntary admission. That rarely happens unless there is insurance or some semblance of private pay for the obvious reasons that there is not enough money in the world to hold everyone who is a danger to themselves.
Given your husband's issues, it sounds like he is exactly where he belongs right now. He's alive and miserable versus self medicated and dead.
.
Given your husband's issues, it sounds like he is exactly where he belongs right now. He's alive and miserable versus self medicated and dead.
.
I'm glad as well that he's there to be honest. The house is quiet and peaceful without his drama or my in laws barging in (they haven't been over the house since he's been in the hospital and are both going away again in the next week). I do really miss him when he's healthy and his presence in the house.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 159
Hi Lonelywife....I can't say that I know how you feel, but some of your comments resonate with me.
When I sent my husband to rehab for 30 days about a year ago, the peace, tranquility and safety in the home was something that just came over me like a warm blanket. Even though I was sad and extremely overcome by the chaos his drug use had brought, the calm of him being out of the house felt "normal". I totally hear how you say you are feeling.
My ex hadn't OD'd before I asked him to go to rehab, but he was holed in up our back guestroom for days saying he was "sick with a fever", when in fact he was coked up. I spent quite a few nights during that time lying on the floor next to our daughter's crib just to make sure she was safe. How crazy is that???
There are still days now, even a year ago, that I miss his healthy presence in the house, just like you miss your husband now. However, my ex's presence had been long gone, even when he wasn't actively using. I had gotten so used to him not being "present" at all, whether it was with porn, drugs or just the stupid tv/cop shows, that I got numb to it all.
I hope you find your peace and tranquility, whether it is with your "healthy" husband, or with you moving forward (either way, with you healthy).
Thoughts with you again tonight...
When I sent my husband to rehab for 30 days about a year ago, the peace, tranquility and safety in the home was something that just came over me like a warm blanket. Even though I was sad and extremely overcome by the chaos his drug use had brought, the calm of him being out of the house felt "normal". I totally hear how you say you are feeling.
My ex hadn't OD'd before I asked him to go to rehab, but he was holed in up our back guestroom for days saying he was "sick with a fever", when in fact he was coked up. I spent quite a few nights during that time lying on the floor next to our daughter's crib just to make sure she was safe. How crazy is that???
There are still days now, even a year ago, that I miss his healthy presence in the house, just like you miss your husband now. However, my ex's presence had been long gone, even when he wasn't actively using. I had gotten so used to him not being "present" at all, whether it was with porn, drugs or just the stupid tv/cop shows, that I got numb to it all.
I hope you find your peace and tranquility, whether it is with your "healthy" husband, or with you moving forward (either way, with you healthy).
Thoughts with you again tonight...
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