Thanks to all of you, but tough love stinks!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Over the river and thru the woods
Posts: 69
I have received so many private messages, and I am thankful for all the support and prayers! If there is any advice I can give you all, it is to always tell the 'A' in your life that you love them despite their choices in life. I didn't get to do that during the last conversation with my son. He didn't like an answer I gave him, didn't wait for me to finish speaking and just hung up the phone. He went 2 months without speaking to me and then took his own life. I do live with that regret today and probably always will. I belive that "cynical one" has a sticky mentoning this somewhere.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The South
Posts: 105
Oh sweet jalapenolover, I KNOW that your precious son knew that you loved him. Your loving actions spoke volumes to him. Just because you didn't get a chance to tell him the last time that you spoke to him doesn't change anything. He knew. Yes, dear one, he knew.
I continue to pray for you and your family.
I continue to pray for you and your family.
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Originally Posted by jalapenolover 
I have received so many private messages, and I am thankful for all the support and prayers! If there is any advice I can give you all, it is to always tell the 'A' in your life that you love them despite their choices in life. I didn't get to do that during the last conversation with my son. He didn't like an answer I gave him, didn't wait for me to finish speaking and just hung up the phone. He went 2 months without speaking to me and then took his own life. I do live with that regret today and probably always will. I belive that "cynical one" has a sticky mentoning this somewhere.
Although I understand your feelings of regret.....and I am left with a concern worry when a phone call with my son ends without those words......he knows. I truly believe that with all of my being.
I ask God to deliver my love and my hugs to my son daily.....I believe he is a pretty reliable delivery guy.
gentle hugs
ke
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Heartfelt prayers going up for you and your family. There will be no more earthly cares for your son, he is free. He wouldn't want you to feel regret the rest of your life, over words spoken when you were trying to help him. He will understand.
I'm so glad you've chosen to discuss this here. I hope you'll find a little comfort in knowing we all care, and share your burden.
I'm so glad you've chosen to discuss this here. I hope you'll find a little comfort in knowing we all care, and share your burden.
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 780
I don't know what brought me to this thread today, probably divine guidance. I am so sorry for your loss...I am going through the tough love thing right now and my child hates me, thinks I am evil and horrible because I won't comfort her during her "jail time" and welcome her back into our lives. I fear the worst will happen as well.... I am just heartbroken for you my dear. No one in this life deserves this utter and complete despair. Sending you love, light and hope for you and yours.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Over the river and thru the woods
Posts: 69
Ya know what 'thequest' - I truly believe that. 1 week after my son passed away, a friend called and told me that her daughter was headed down the same road my son was. She said she felt odd calling me after what I had been thru but.. that made me so strong because I drove right over to her house, hugged her and took her to an Alanon meeting with me. I even spoke that night and never shed a tear! (not to say I didn't do it later)
Last edited by jalapenolover; 10-21-2011 at 07:35 AM. Reason: type to fast, typos
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Calif
Posts: 1,007
I've been away for a long time too, and so sorry to hear of your loss. How sad is this. My gf just lost her son, age 45, to alcoholism.
You're right. As difficult as this must be to cope with, at least you know he is no longer struggling and is at peace now.
My thoughts and prayers are with you today and always.
Hugs, Devastated
You're right. As difficult as this must be to cope with, at least you know he is no longer struggling and is at peace now.
My thoughts and prayers are with you today and always.
Hugs, Devastated
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