Completely ot
Jujubee Queen
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
I do try and spend time with her.
We go to lunch about twice a month, sometimes, I pay, sometimes she pays.
Mostly me, cause I know see is struggling, and I feel she is trying to attain a goal here.
She does come over and pick up the baby sometimes, but she stays for maybe a half hour cause she's tired, or perhaps she has other plans, after she gets the baby to sleep? I have no idea.
Here's one thing I was wondering.
The last time she was living with AS, the house was raided, and drug paraphenalia was found, and she was charged also with a felony, cause she was in the apartment. I have tried to explain to her, even though it has been expunged, she may have a difficult time getting a job as a teacher.
We go to lunch about twice a month, sometimes, I pay, sometimes she pays.
Mostly me, cause I know see is struggling, and I feel she is trying to attain a goal here.
She does come over and pick up the baby sometimes, but she stays for maybe a half hour cause she's tired, or perhaps she has other plans, after she gets the baby to sleep? I have no idea.
Here's one thing I was wondering.
The last time she was living with AS, the house was raided, and drug paraphenalia was found, and she was charged also with a felony, cause she was in the apartment. I have tried to explain to her, even though it has been expunged, she may have a difficult time getting a job as a teacher.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Moose))) - when I was trying to get the felony off my record (it was an error, no expungement), after waiting forever for my lawyer, I just went to the local jail and got my "official" rap sheet. The felony had been removed, though my violation of probation is still on there. It doesn't cost much, maybe $10 around here.
There are quite a few teachers on here, so maybe one of them will chime in.
I do hope you can get to know her better, and work this out for the best for all of you, especially your grandson. Prayers are continuing.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
There are quite a few teachers on here, so maybe one of them will chime in.
I do hope you can get to know her better, and work this out for the best for all of you, especially your grandson. Prayers are continuing.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Jujubee Queen
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
From what I understand, she did her probation, no jail time ordered, and after one year, her probation officer told her it would be expunged.
Now, what I have heard is: Even though you get a felony expunged, it is ALWAYS there. It just doesn't say the reason for the felony.
BUT, if someone wanted to delve deeper, they could find out that you had a felony for drug paraphenalia, or being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Seems to me, a school, of ALL employers would want to know what that expunged felony was for. Could be child endangerment or something. THEY would want to know.
I have explained this to her, now she's on her own.
Now, what I have heard is: Even though you get a felony expunged, it is ALWAYS there. It just doesn't say the reason for the felony.
BUT, if someone wanted to delve deeper, they could find out that you had a felony for drug paraphenalia, or being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Seems to me, a school, of ALL employers would want to know what that expunged felony was for. Could be child endangerment or something. THEY would want to know.
I have explained this to her, now she's on her own.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by mooselips 
I am praying she lets us take the baby to camp for the Summer, I will make it clear she's free to come up with her current BF.
Yikes, what a mess.
Yikes, what a mess.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by mooselips
AS seems to have throw-away children, sad to say.
He has a 18 year old daughter, and that GF left him when the daughter was 18 months old, and until she called me a year ago, I didn't see her.
I have asked AS to come visit with his son consistently, like every Tuesday, so I can have grandson look forward to his visit.
He does it for one week, then it's excuse after excuse, and actually, the child is probably better without him...and I'm AS's mother saying that.
Son just recently found a job, after being in prison 4 times, still has anger issues, if you tell him "NO"
and recently, I cut off all money to him, so he's not calling much now...lol
He has a 18 year old daughter, and that GF left him when the daughter was 18 months old, and until she called me a year ago, I didn't see her.
I have asked AS to come visit with his son consistently, like every Tuesday, so I can have grandson look forward to his visit.
He does it for one week, then it's excuse after excuse, and actually, the child is probably better without him...and I'm AS's mother saying that.
Son just recently found a job, after being in prison 4 times, still has anger issues, if you tell him "NO"
and recently, I cut off all money to him, so he's not calling much now...lol
Jujubee Queen
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Actually, she was kind of eager to let the baby come to camp.
We came home the beginning of August, (a month early) due to his acting out and hitting the teacher. When she called me, up at camp, to explain the teacher incident, she told me, if we wanted to come down, we could take him back up, and stay until we usually come home.
We decided to come home cause I wasn't ready for him up there this summer, toys, activities, etc. It takes a lot of work to keep a 2 year old busy.
Plus it's kind of a lengthy 10 and a half hour drive.
We came home the beginning of August, (a month early) due to his acting out and hitting the teacher. When she called me, up at camp, to explain the teacher incident, she told me, if we wanted to come down, we could take him back up, and stay until we usually come home.
We decided to come home cause I wasn't ready for him up there this summer, toys, activities, etc. It takes a lot of work to keep a 2 year old busy.
Plus it's kind of a lengthy 10 and a half hour drive.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 178
Ah mooselips, I'm so glad that little child has you two as grandparents! The mother has kind of abandoned him too really - why would anyone go back to study full time leaving their baby in the care of an unwilling and abusive-sounding mother? I don't get it!
Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm glad he's got you and that you care. Stories like this make me feel so mad/sad.
Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm glad he's got you and that you care. Stories like this make me feel so mad/sad.
Jujubee Queen
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
I just wish I was a fly on the wall over at that house, because I can't for sure say what's going on.
Babymama picked up baby from here tonight and it was a good transition, no yelling, crying, or hysterics, but I told him, multiple times, we would pick him up tomorrow at school.
The worst part is Mr. Moose has surgery Thursday, so we probably won't have him Fri. or Sat. either......we'll see, one day at a time.
Babymama picked up baby from here tonight and it was a good transition, no yelling, crying, or hysterics, but I told him, multiple times, we would pick him up tomorrow at school.
The worst part is Mr. Moose has surgery Thursday, so we probably won't have him Fri. or Sat. either......we'll see, one day at a time.
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
Just wanted to say Hi and send you some love.
I'm sorry you are having to deal with all of this.
I was just thinking how hard it is for the one's
around the addicted.
When we are done, we are just done to deal with
our mess and fix it.
But you have been going through so much because of
someone else......
I'm tired, so hard to explain whtat i mean, but I just have
a lot of admiration for you.
I've known you for almost 6 years, and you've always been
one of the strongest women I know.
Love You Moose!
I'm sorry you are having to deal with all of this.
I was just thinking how hard it is for the one's
around the addicted.
When we are done, we are just done to deal with
our mess and fix it.
But you have been going through so much because of
someone else......
I'm tired, so hard to explain whtat i mean, but I just have
a lot of admiration for you.
I've known you for almost 6 years, and you've always been
one of the strongest women I know.
Love You Moose!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,384
You are taking a great job taking care of your grandson. He is lucky to have you and Mr. Moose. It sounds like you are doing the best thing. You are providing him with a stable environment when he is with you. It sounds like he has had some instability in his life, and that might make leaving harder for him. He has a lot of daily changes with different caregivers. If the other grandmother doesn't want him, he might pick up on that. Plus, who knows how the 14-year old feels about him. It's just not possible for you to know what is happening at the other house. I think it is best for you to have whatever kind of relationship you can with his mother, and to continue spending time with him. As you said, he will be able to communicate more soon, which may give you more of an idea what is happening. Maybe, if his behavior problems continue (like the ones at preschool), you should suggest to the mother that he gets some child counseling? I think it is best for you to listen to him, watch the situation, and continue to pray.
Jujubee Queen
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Hi and thanks everyone...
Well, we're just living one day at a time.
We have grandson today, and GLORY BEHOLD, his daddy has stopped over.
He has him outside, then he'll leave after 30 minutes, and I'll be mopping up the little one's broken heart.
Sorry, I'm a bit testy today. Mr. Moose had surgery last Thursday, he's down to one arm for the next couple of months, and I'm just in a pity party for myself. I don't know why, I've been getting plenty of sleep, too.
Ack, just one of those days I suppose.
Hugs.......
It seems when his mom picks him up, it works a little better, if she stays for a little while before taking him home, gives him time to adjust......and it has worked a couple of times...no screaming.
Well, we're just living one day at a time.
We have grandson today, and GLORY BEHOLD, his daddy has stopped over.
He has him outside, then he'll leave after 30 minutes, and I'll be mopping up the little one's broken heart.
Sorry, I'm a bit testy today. Mr. Moose had surgery last Thursday, he's down to one arm for the next couple of months, and I'm just in a pity party for myself. I don't know why, I've been getting plenty of sleep, too.
Ack, just one of those days I suppose.
Hugs.......
It seems when his mom picks him up, it works a little better, if she stays for a little while before taking him home, gives him time to adjust......and it has worked a couple of times...no screaming.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: New York, USA
Posts: 230
I was in the same situation with my little GD. It's heart wrenching when they have to be ripped from your arms with tears streaming down their little faces and all I could do is think what my poor grandbaby must be going home to. It did get pointed out to me (also by a day care worker) that when GD came to see us (both retired) we devoted just about the whole day to her, played games, completely doted on her. When she went home to a family that had worked all day she wasn't the center of attention all the time. She had toys to pick up, baths to take, rules to follow - of course she screamed when she left.
Not saying this is the case here but as she got older, realized that each time she left wasn't going to be the last and I made her do a few chores around here with me she got a lot calmer going home.
It sure does break your heart though and it does send alarm bells off.
Not saying this is the case here but as she got older, realized that each time she left wasn't going to be the last and I made her do a few chores around here with me she got a lot calmer going home.
It sure does break your heart though and it does send alarm bells off.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: In
Posts: 561
Ok this has bothered me since I started reading it. Our Grandchild lives with us an she visits the father an other grandparents. There are times she cries when they bring her home an I can assure you we don't hurt her in anyway. Like Baxter said when she is with them it is all fun an games they are completely focused on her the whole time she is there. Now if you were a child wouldn't you prefer that to having rules , chores an not get all the attention? NOt blaming them if I were in their place I'd do the same thing in fact i do with my other grands kids.LOL
Not saying there's nothing wrong an yes you should watch but don't just assume the child is mistreated based on them crying when it's time to go home.
Not saying there's nothing wrong an yes you should watch but don't just assume the child is mistreated based on them crying when it's time to go home.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Just from my perspective - there are several different "cries" from our children & grandchildren. . .
I can usually tell the difference between when my granddaughter, Kaileigh (7 yr) that we are raising cries. . .
she has a
i'm scared cry
i'm tired cry
i'm whiny cry
i'm not getting my way cry
i'm exhausted cry
i'm broken hearted cry
i don't know why i'm crying cry
and then there is that
i'm terrified cry
Kaileigh cries when she her other grandparents refuse to allow her to go home with her and she has to come home with us (she's i'm not getting my way cry)
She cries when her dad promises to show up at her cheerleading and never does (she very sad)
She cries when she visits her mom's grave to bring her Mother's day gifts while all the other kids from her class have a Mother's day dinner with their mom (she's heartbroken)
She cries when I have to leave her for a few days (she's frighten that I won't come back)
Our kids/grandkids have different cries. That inner voice lets you know if it's a cry that something isn't right. . .
Prayers that same voice will direction as to what is the best path and plan to take to help your grandson to be safe, secure and happy.
Pink Hugs,
Rita
I can usually tell the difference between when my granddaughter, Kaileigh (7 yr) that we are raising cries. . .
she has a
i'm scared cry
i'm tired cry
i'm whiny cry
i'm not getting my way cry
i'm exhausted cry
i'm broken hearted cry
i don't know why i'm crying cry
and then there is that
i'm terrified cry
Kaileigh cries when she her other grandparents refuse to allow her to go home with her and she has to come home with us (she's i'm not getting my way cry)
She cries when her dad promises to show up at her cheerleading and never does (she very sad)
She cries when she visits her mom's grave to bring her Mother's day gifts while all the other kids from her class have a Mother's day dinner with their mom (she's heartbroken)
She cries when I have to leave her for a few days (she's frighten that I won't come back)
Our kids/grandkids have different cries. That inner voice lets you know if it's a cry that something isn't right. . .
Prayers that same voice will direction as to what is the best path and plan to take to help your grandson to be safe, secure and happy.
Pink Hugs,
Rita
Jujubee Queen
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Hi all,
I've been analyzing the situation closely. I have no doubt in my mind the other grandmom and his mommy love him dearly. It is beginning to work a little bit better when we slow things down here, and his mommy stays a while before rushing him out the door.
The last couple of times, it's been a smooth transition.
No tears, no hysterics.
And I realize they are BUSY people. The grandmom is now working on her Masters, and working full time, the mommy is getting her teaching degree, and working...and running to and fro....I'm SURE they don't have time for play and games all day. But his mom does things with him on her day off, the History museum, the Health museum...the park.....
I am not assuming any child abuse of any sort, I just have a grandmotherly sort of concern.
I did have lunch with the babymomma, and she doesn't feel like any yelling, or any other problems are going on there, when she's not there...she's a bit concerned about the half-uncle...but doesn't feel like there's alot she can do, if he won't pay the baby any attention.
The half Uncle 14 years old is only there 4 days one week, 3 days the next.
I was thinking it was separation anxiety, it just gave me an ill feeling, being a Pediatric Nurse, and all.
But, not much I can do about it anyway.
Just love him a bunch when he's here, and let him experience a quiet-er home.
Grandson is with us today, his mommy called at 8 a.m. he's running a temp, and has alot of congestion....so, he's here until about 9 p.m.
And Mr. Moose is down to one arm since his shoulder surgery last Thursday........YIKES.
hugs and hugs....
I've been analyzing the situation closely. I have no doubt in my mind the other grandmom and his mommy love him dearly. It is beginning to work a little bit better when we slow things down here, and his mommy stays a while before rushing him out the door.
The last couple of times, it's been a smooth transition.
No tears, no hysterics.
And I realize they are BUSY people. The grandmom is now working on her Masters, and working full time, the mommy is getting her teaching degree, and working...and running to and fro....I'm SURE they don't have time for play and games all day. But his mom does things with him on her day off, the History museum, the Health museum...the park.....
I am not assuming any child abuse of any sort, I just have a grandmotherly sort of concern.
I did have lunch with the babymomma, and she doesn't feel like any yelling, or any other problems are going on there, when she's not there...she's a bit concerned about the half-uncle...but doesn't feel like there's alot she can do, if he won't pay the baby any attention.
The half Uncle 14 years old is only there 4 days one week, 3 days the next.
I was thinking it was separation anxiety, it just gave me an ill feeling, being a Pediatric Nurse, and all.
But, not much I can do about it anyway.
Just love him a bunch when he's here, and let him experience a quiet-er home.
Grandson is with us today, his mommy called at 8 a.m. he's running a temp, and has alot of congestion....so, he's here until about 9 p.m.
And Mr. Moose is down to one arm since his shoulder surgery last Thursday........YIKES.
hugs and hugs....
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