bluebelle

My most recent post isn't about my RABF or my AM or AF. My addict step-daughter is in the early stages of recovery (for about the 5th time). She recently received money that was legally hers--RABF had saved it for her to have when she was an adult for college or such. She used it to pay legal bills. Apparently, he could not have legally blocked her from getting the money. My RABF and I have fought some about this, mainly because he didn't tell me about the situation until after the fact. He thought I would argue with him about it. His lack of honesty on the situation is a whole another situation entirely.

My main point is I want some clarification as to what we can/should do for the addict step-daughter. She is living in another state. She has mentioned that she will need financial help if she will take a second month of suboxone. I'm assuming that is something that we should not help with? I'm not completely sure of her desire to get clean this time because she is still drinking alcohol, and has not gotten rid of her toxic relationships. She is not working, but is attending school. She is over the age of 18 and living with other family.

Could someone please just post some reminders as to what we can and cannot do for her? I know not to give her money. Do we help with rehab money or suboxone money? We are assuming that we shouldn't help with suboxone money. My RABF has been sharing stories of his recovery with her and refused to give her money for alcohol. He reminded her that she shouldn't be drinking alcohol with the suboxone. We love her very much (of course), and are worried about her health.

bluebelle

I just wanted to add--this has been an ongoing issue for years. In the past, we refused to bail her out of jail whe she got a DUI. When she was much younger, we reported her to the police for stealing our cell phone and money. So, we have practiced some tough love in the past.

outtolunch

She'sver 18. She is not taking responsiblity for herself or her recovery. And she's not sober.

Doing "absolutely nothing" sounds appropriate to me.

Consider giving her the gift of dignity to figure this out on her own.

bluebelle

Thank you. You are right. She says she wants to be sober, and she knows what she needs to do. It is her path.

Freedom1990

Then sit back and observe. Actions speak louder than words.

Kindeyes

I'm sorry to hear that your step-daughter is dealing with the disease of addiction. It is a very baffling disease.

I have no specific advise for you. I know that I cannot help my AS. He is in God's hands and I pray for him daily. But I do understand how difficult these decisions can be.

You and your step daughter are in my prayers today.

gentle hugs
ke

bluebelle

Thank you, Kindeyes. I'm sending prayers for your AS, too.