Bears and addiction
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Bears and addiction
I've been thinking a lot lately of how I can justify in my mind and heart the fact that my son is continuing to spiral in the disease of addiction and I am doing nothing to "help" him.
Nature and bears come to mind.
In nature, a mother bear raises her cub, protects him from harm, and teaches him how to survive on his own. She then sends him out on his own to fend for himself.
If that full grown male bear comes back later and tries to take his Momma Bear's dinner from her, she wouldn't say "Here Son Bear, enjoy this meal, I'm glad you came to see me.....I'll starve.....and that's ok."
She'd fight him. She'd kill him if she had to. That is nature's way. She knows that allowing him to eat her food would set a bad precedent. There is no species on this earth that will sacrifice their own welfare for their ADULT offspring.....except human.
Bears that become dangerous to humans are those that become accustomed to getting fed by them-either through their garbage or unprotected food at a campsite. The bear will kill people who get between them and their food.
So here's a question for all of you parents out there wondering about what to do with your adult children who are spiraling in their addiction. The answers are in nature......it is the way of the universe.
How do you make a bad bear? You feed him.
How do keep an addict comfortable in the PROGRESSIVE disease of addiction? You feed him.
It is very difficult to be the parent of a drug addicted adult son or daughter. Our ability to "reason" and feel the emotions of guilt, fear, pity, shame and anger often get in the way of making choices that are in harmony with nature and the universe.
gentle hugs
ke
Nature and bears come to mind.
In nature, a mother bear raises her cub, protects him from harm, and teaches him how to survive on his own. She then sends him out on his own to fend for himself.
If that full grown male bear comes back later and tries to take his Momma Bear's dinner from her, she wouldn't say "Here Son Bear, enjoy this meal, I'm glad you came to see me.....I'll starve.....and that's ok."
She'd fight him. She'd kill him if she had to. That is nature's way. She knows that allowing him to eat her food would set a bad precedent. There is no species on this earth that will sacrifice their own welfare for their ADULT offspring.....except human.
Bears that become dangerous to humans are those that become accustomed to getting fed by them-either through their garbage or unprotected food at a campsite. The bear will kill people who get between them and their food.
So here's a question for all of you parents out there wondering about what to do with your adult children who are spiraling in their addiction. The answers are in nature......it is the way of the universe.
How do you make a bad bear? You feed him.
How do keep an addict comfortable in the PROGRESSIVE disease of addiction? You feed him.
It is very difficult to be the parent of a drug addicted adult son or daughter. Our ability to "reason" and feel the emotions of guilt, fear, pity, shame and anger often get in the way of making choices that are in harmony with nature and the universe.
gentle hugs
ke
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
My totem is the Eagle. They feed and protect their young until they're old enough to fly, then they coax them out of the nest using food as bait. They starve them out. When their young fly, they teach them how to hunt for their own food and how to survive, build their own nests, etc. Once their offspring mate, there is no going home or the parents will fight to the death.
This was from yesterday's daily Native meditation I receive:
Nature is full of wisdom if we will only consider her to be our teacher. My Creator, today let me learn from nature.
I was raised culturally and everything was good until I forgot my life's lessons.
This was from yesterday's daily Native meditation I receive:
Nature is full of wisdom if we will only consider her to be our teacher. My Creator, today let me learn from nature.
I was raised culturally and everything was good until I forgot my life's lessons.
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 317
I love the analogy, thank you 
....and to think, when I had my son at 18, I foolishly thought that my job would pretty much be over when he was 18-21, and I could finally have a little fun! LOL
Even parents on non-addicted kids learn that one the hard way.
thanks again for the analogy, I needed that!
....and to think, when I had my son at 18, I foolishly thought that my job would pretty much be over when he was 18-21, and I could finally have a little fun! LOL
Even parents on non-addicted kids learn that one the hard way.
thanks again for the analogy, I needed that!
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 5
Kindeyes..that is a great analogy.
For me the biggest symptom of my disease was the "enabling" ...I learned over time that I had to take care of my illness and let the "son of a bear" take care of his. And you know what...it worked.. He is doing well at this time with over 2 years of "One day at a times" ..thanks so much for your post!
For me the biggest symptom of my disease was the "enabling" ...I learned over time that I had to take care of my illness and let the "son of a bear" take care of his. And you know what...it worked.. He is doing well at this time with over 2 years of "One day at a times" ..thanks so much for your post!
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