Letter From My Addict
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by KC79 
I don't even know how to, or if I should respond...?
In my opinion he needs many months of sobriety and recovery, which I don't even know if he is clean, before he would even have a shot at seeing us.
Thoughts?
In my opinion he needs many months of sobriety and recovery, which I don't even know if he is clean, before he would even have a shot at seeing us.
Thoughts?
If he truly digs into recovery, that self-centeredness may disappear, it may not.
There are people who are asshats when using, and still are asshats when clean/sober.
Take care of you and that precious daughter of yours!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 136
KC79,
No problem at all. We're all here for the same reason, to let it all out and get feedback from others who have gone through what we are going through now.
I'm not sure what to say about the text message, and right now I'm not the best person to offer insight or advice about anything since I'm going through a whirlwind of emotions myself.
All I can say is to take care of yourself and your daughter first.
Good luck to you.
No problem at all. We're all here for the same reason, to let it all out and get feedback from others who have gone through what we are going through now.
I'm not sure what to say about the text message, and right now I'm not the best person to offer insight or advice about anything since I'm going through a whirlwind of emotions myself.
All I can say is to take care of yourself and your daughter first.
Good luck to you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Artist,
As one who could have written that letter to my then girlfriend, here is my take:
Everything your BF expressed in that letter could be cross-my-heart-hope-to-die truth to him. I know that I loved my gf very much, and that in moments of clarity I realized that I was abusing her and her love for me by virtue of my drinking. I did love her unconditionally - but I loved alcohol even more so. I know there's likely a bunch of folks vicariously throwing rotten tomatoes at my last statement, but that is the duality of living in addiction. It makes no sense to anyone outside of it, but it's how self-delusion makes an addicts life work/make sense.
And it's not a question of love when it comes to addiction, it's a matter of life itself. I knew that my drinking was bad in all sorts of ways, but I couldn't even imagine a life without it, I could not go 24 hours without the onset of serious withdrawal symptoms. And when push came to shove in the form of an ultimatim, I chose my addiction over my girlfriend. It took three more years of drinking before I chose to quit.
So - take it for what it is: an expression of his sentiments. It is not a declaration of change in his life or his priorities, it is a description of how he feels and how the world occurs to him through the lens of his addiction. Unfortunately, it has little bearing to what is happening in the real world where your relationship exists.
Your BF is not evil, he is an addict. You get to choose whether all that entails is worth having in your life.
As one who could have written that letter to my then girlfriend, here is my take:
Everything your BF expressed in that letter could be cross-my-heart-hope-to-die truth to him. I know that I loved my gf very much, and that in moments of clarity I realized that I was abusing her and her love for me by virtue of my drinking. I did love her unconditionally - but I loved alcohol even more so. I know there's likely a bunch of folks vicariously throwing rotten tomatoes at my last statement, but that is the duality of living in addiction. It makes no sense to anyone outside of it, but it's how self-delusion makes an addicts life work/make sense.
And it's not a question of love when it comes to addiction, it's a matter of life itself. I knew that my drinking was bad in all sorts of ways, but I couldn't even imagine a life without it, I could not go 24 hours without the onset of serious withdrawal symptoms. And when push came to shove in the form of an ultimatim, I chose my addiction over my girlfriend. It took three more years of drinking before I chose to quit.
So - take it for what it is: an expression of his sentiments. It is not a declaration of change in his life or his priorities, it is a description of how he feels and how the world occurs to him through the lens of his addiction. Unfortunately, it has little bearing to what is happening in the real world where your relationship exists.
Your BF is not evil, he is an addict. You get to choose whether all that entails is worth having in your life.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
KC...again, he trying to manipulate you, by tugging at your heart strings, in the hope that you will say...ok, come back home. For him, it is easy, it is quick and he does not have to earn his right to be back in your and your daughters life. He does not have to prove a thing...no actions, just more worthless words.
Me, I wouldn't answer any of his texts, unless absolutely necessary,answering those that only pertain to your daughter.
As Mike says, shields up!
Me, I wouldn't answer any of his texts, unless absolutely necessary,answering those that only pertain to your daughter.
As Mike says, shields up!
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