angie4

I asked my AH to move out several days ago and he did. He says that I am wrong and he is doing fine. He says that I am going to end up alone. And you dont abandon the people you love when things get though.
He has been staying at his parents house. Of course they told him all the truths I gave them the other day. They totally betrayed my trust. And I hate them for that. My kids dont want to spend anytime with me. They only want to be with their dad and his parents. I am afraid I made the wrong decision. I am afraid I was wrong. And it was my illness I was surcoming to not his. I am afraid he will take thie kids from me. Why is it I have done this so we both can heal and I feel worse than ever. Im not ok with this. I want my family and I want him ok. Why would God bring us together to let us be pulled apart like this. I have told everybody what is going on and now I just wish I could take it all back. My mother says to get a lawyer immediatley, but I dont want a divorce. I just wanted time to heal and it is all blowing up in my face. I am going to loose everything that is important to me.

dollydo

You are overreacting, awfulizing. He will not take the kids from you, he is the addict, he is the one who is setting a bad example for his children, not you. And, he is manipulating you.

As for his family, that is what most families do, they take sides, at least for awhile, then everything settles down. As for your children you again are overreacting, calm down, they will be fine.

You haven't lost anything, take this time to get yourself back together, get to meetings,
this is not the end of the world.

kmangel

The truth will prevail, Angie. You've brought the darkness into the light. I remember years ago people were talking ill of me. I hung on to the hope that whatever was true would be revealed to people if I had faith to believe and it did.

This is the time to work on yourself.

laurie6781

(((((angie4)))))

Dolly is correct. You are 'awfulizing' because he has managed to 'push' your buttons and is one more time trying to 'manipulate you.

Just remember, he is the addict, and even at his parents, his behaviors will start to show, worse and worse. Of course, his parents will side, for now, with their son, he is blood.

I am not sure of the ages of your children, but they too eventually will see the truth.

You have not 'lost' anything, except a 'practicing' addict for now. Whether he finds recovery or not, only time will show his actions.

You, on the other hand have the opportunity to heal. Please get to some meetings, share face to face with the folks there who have been through what you are going through now. Also remember, we are walking with you in spirit.

If you have any doubts of what this is doing to your children, please go and check out the Adult Children of A's forum. Know that you can only help your children by healing yourself and walking the program of recovery that they can see what life is 'suppose' to be like.

Good thoughts and prayers winging their way to you.

Love and hugs,

newnormal4me

Angie, if it helps please know that my ah. Said all the same things to me. There is nothing easy about taking action. It will hurt. You have tried everything you can! Yes, you are codependent...but your aha is DEPENDENT! Please stay strong. If you need to chat please pm. Me! ****{Hugs}}}

outtolunch

He is doing what addicts do. And you are doing what codependents do.

Remember you have a choice to listen to his BS or not and to empower his BS, or not.

hello-kitty

Angie: he's quacking. It's what addicts do. Blah blah blah.

If your conversations with him are upsetting you there's no rule, that says you have to talk to him. Give yourself a break. Let him leave you a message. You can always call him back if you feel like getting a guilt trip laid on you for doing the wise thing and sticking with your boundaries.