Off the ride please!?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Sunny So Ca beach with a breeze
Posts: 75
Off the ride please!?
Hello,
It has been several years since I have posted and even had to change info (Aloneinside before) to logon.
My XAH has been sober for a few years. It was hear and through a few friends I found the strength inside to stand up and make a change. and While I thought things would move forward and get better and for me mentally thay have, but the often roller coaster rides just seem to continue!
The saddest part is that our 7 year old Daghter is now living my fears and egg shell walks!! He was much better so we no longer did supervised visits, but fear That is what we need to go back to. I am unsure if he has relapsed. He has no money (disability mney is usually gone within 2 weeks) But his behaviors, irratic, irrational, blame and hatred towards me (the only person he has left) has tripled!!
He has Major eventual-terminal Health condition from his Drug use and makes me so mad for our girl that he does not just make the best of the time he may or may not have with her as she grows up!
I have Hope I will have a steady stress free life one day, but days like this day makes me wonder when!?
Just needed to vent where i wont be judged, or someone thinsk "really? she makes up so much drama"..... if only the knew how much
It has been several years since I have posted and even had to change info (Aloneinside before) to logon.
My XAH has been sober for a few years. It was hear and through a few friends I found the strength inside to stand up and make a change. and While I thought things would move forward and get better and for me mentally thay have, but the often roller coaster rides just seem to continue!
The saddest part is that our 7 year old Daghter is now living my fears and egg shell walks!! He was much better so we no longer did supervised visits, but fear That is what we need to go back to. I am unsure if he has relapsed. He has no money (disability mney is usually gone within 2 weeks) But his behaviors, irratic, irrational, blame and hatred towards me (the only person he has left) has tripled!!
He has Major eventual-terminal Health condition from his Drug use and makes me so mad for our girl that he does not just make the best of the time he may or may not have with her as she grows up!
I have Hope I will have a steady stress free life one day, but days like this day makes me wonder when!?
Just needed to vent where i wont be judged, or someone thinsk "really? she makes up so much drama"..... if only the knew how much
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Whether he is using again or not, I think supervised visits may be a good thing to protect your 7 year old girl from his bad behaviour. And if he cannot make the visits pleasant and worthwhile for her, you may consider if they are in her best interest at all (not sure if you have a shared custody or visitation agreement, but if so maybe see your lawyer first).
In situations that are emotionally difficult for us adults, I can only imagine how hard it is for the innocent children. Someone must protect them and be their voice.
Sending hugs because this must be a very hard time for you. And...anyone who thinks this is drama has not walked in your shoes. Let's both pray they never have to.
Hugs
In situations that are emotionally difficult for us adults, I can only imagine how hard it is for the innocent children. Someone must protect them and be their voice.
Sending hugs because this must be a very hard time for you. And...anyone who thinks this is drama has not walked in your shoes. Let's both pray they never have to.
Hugs
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Sunny So Ca beach with a breeze
Posts: 75
Thanks!!
I have always had about 90% custody. originally it was supervised. and over the past couple years he was stable and good with her and on his own. things have digressed though. I informed him today we are going back to supervised. of course his first reaction was anger, then the tune changed to calm and nice. But this time I am standing my ground.
Id hoped this wouldnt happen but you are very right Ann, It is about her!! I have started the process for counseling for her and to return for myself.
I pray no one else has to walk in our shoes!!
I have always had about 90% custody. originally it was supervised. and over the past couple years he was stable and good with her and on his own. things have digressed though. I informed him today we are going back to supervised. of course his first reaction was anger, then the tune changed to calm and nice. But this time I am standing my ground.
Id hoped this wouldnt happen but you are very right Ann, It is about her!! I have started the process for counseling for her and to return for myself.
I pray no one else has to walk in our shoes!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
How wonderful you are getting counseling for you and your daughter. How blessed she is to have you for a mom!
I understand the anger, the blame, the erratic behavior.
Fortunately I did not have any children with my EXAH, but my oldest daughter was exposed to the insanity for 5 years as she was growing up.
I hope you continue to post and bring us updates. We care!
I understand the anger, the blame, the erratic behavior.
Fortunately I did not have any children with my EXAH, but my oldest daughter was exposed to the insanity for 5 years as she was growing up.
I hope you continue to post and bring us updates. We care!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Sunny So Ca beach with a breeze
Posts: 75
Thank you Freedom!
For years she didnt see or notice his behaviors, even though he was sober. As she gets older, she is aware and you can see she is afraid to do or say the wrong things. He isnt bad with her as he is with me. But she see how he treats me and it worries her!
It kills inside that she is hurt by him. I am one thing and have learned how to not take it personally as much. Because he just doesnt make sense! Between the years of Drug use and his current medical. His brain is loosing funtions I am afraid!
Thannk you for the support!!! I feel so safe here!
For years she didnt see or notice his behaviors, even though he was sober. As she gets older, she is aware and you can see she is afraid to do or say the wrong things. He isnt bad with her as he is with me. But she see how he treats me and it worries her!
It kills inside that she is hurt by him. I am one thing and have learned how to not take it personally as much. Because he just doesnt make sense! Between the years of Drug use and his current medical. His brain is loosing funtions I am afraid!
Thannk you for the support!!! I feel so safe here!
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