Danielle1

Just left and Alanon meeting today .. It has been really tough today for some reason.. My addicts ex- wife calls him to tell him she is going to a mavericks game tonight and she could meet him early to get their son or he could stay the rest of the day but he would have to drive him the hour to her moms cause she wouldn't be home.. And it really made me upset , I feel like a two yr old... My addict is only 5 days clean and it's been active addiction with him for over three yrs..We also have two small boys together , and I really think I was greiving the fact she was going to do something fun and not have to worry about anything .. And I haven't done anything fun that I really wanted to do in I can't even remember ... I was greiving my loss of friends and bbqs and friends kids birthday parties , really everything I haven't done since his addiction had entered my life ..i have to detach from my lost years that weren't what I hoped and dreamed of , I have to let go of the guilt of missing my loved ones that were neglected during me worrying and only focusing on the addict and beleiving for so long I could support and love him enough to be clean ... I just wonder if there is something in the air today.. why I feel so sad, mad, and guilty for these feelings .. I should just be grateful for today and let it be I can't change the past ...

Kindeyes

Whew......breathe......the difference between a bad day and a good day is usually....just one day.

You can't change the past. There is no useful purpose in thinking about shoulda, woulda, coulda's. You do have today......and a whole bunch of tomorrows.

You haven't done something you really wanted to do in a long time......so make tomorrow special. What is something you could do that is really nice just for you? Even if it's something little like closing the bathroom door and drawing a nice hot bath.....do it.

You've neglected your friends and loved ones? Sometime next week, pick up the phone and call them.....reconnect.

Regrets and resentments are really very self destructive......begin to explore creative ways that you can remove these feelings from your life.

Little by little......one day at a time.....you'll feel better.

gentle hugs
ke

Danielle1

Thank you I really appreciate the advice I really did just need to beware and get out of self pity... Never a good place..