Dating a recovering SA

Old 05-15-2011, 05:43 PM
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Unhappy Dating a recovering SA

I'm new to the website. Also, I've never used drugs so I'm so naive to the signs. However, my last straw was today.

I awoke to 3 smoke alarms and a fire on my stove. I found my bf passed out on the bathroom floor from taking too may klonipin (spl?). When I woke him he blamed the small fire on me because I MADE him take the extra pill to sleep because I have been on his case all night about the "legal" incense he'd been smoking..... I don't know what to do besides kick him out. He's been doing excellent in his recovery but I think the reply I was expecting was "I'm sorry, I need to go to a meeting about this..." instead I got it was MY fault I'm so sad and lonely and worried that he will relapse.

I don't know what to do besides shut down and not talk to him after 2 years of lies of which he blames all on me.
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Old 05-15-2011, 05:47 PM
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Thank God you have smoke alarms! That could have been truly disastrous. Yeah, if it were me, I would make him leave. It's obvious he's not going to accept any responsibility. The last thing you need is to have your home burned down.
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Old 05-16-2011, 04:12 AM
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Ann
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I don't know what to do besides kick him out.
Trust your instincts on this. Putting a little distance between you will give you a better perspective to decide if you want to continue this relationship...with an "active" substance abuser.

Recovery takes time, work and staying clean even when they want to use. Going to meetings does not mean recovery, hooking up with a sponsor, doing the work and staying clean does.

Most of us have found that having a front row seat to the drama of addiction is the worst seat in the house. Stepping back, putting a little distance between u8s and the addict, can make a huge difference in how we see things.

Hugs
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Old 05-16-2011, 06:50 AM
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Thank goodness that the fire didn't cause extensive damage or kill someone! That's really scary!

Perhaps this was an important wake up call. We must take care of ourselves and get ourselves out of harms way.

Take care of you!

gentle hugs
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Old 05-16-2011, 11:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Ann View Post

Recovery takes time, work and staying clean even when they want to use. Going to meetings does not mean recovery, hooking up with a sponsor, doing the work and staying clean does.
Worthy of a repeat.

Going to meetings....going through the motions.....is not recovery.
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