jolivo

soooo. gotten over the shock of him relapsing. today is day 2. im so sick of him being sick. everyday complaining of bodyaches being hot/cold. he wont eat shower stop zoning out infront of me. he just sits there on the couch like a bump on the log if he`s not sleeping. ya'll know that im 9 mos preg with 7 days to go b4 laborday if you`ve read my previous posts. besides taking care of my waddling aching self i have to watch him

jolivo

die on the couch blah blah blah. mind you morphine/opiates was not my d.o.c. mine was stimulants/uppers. however ive done my research to help better inform myself. im just so frustrated i have no hubby right now. the one person who is here to help me with stuff i cant do alone right now isnt here for me. i mean yall know pregnancy brain right you forget stuff. i wish i could forget this right now. however i cant its right infron of me. i hate to sound like a bitch but im madder than hell

jolivo

i am literally whipping myself trying to complete all the stuff i have to do b4 baby comes. and he has the nerve to ask why are you killing yourself. huh? say what? because im the only one alive in this house!!!! if i had help i wouldnt be killing myself. i wish he would just stay in bed and stop sitting on the couch in front of me. because its a reminder of his choice to eff up.

Chino

Is it time to call your mom and ask for help?

lc1972

I am so sorry you have to be going through this at a time you should be excited about what is coming soon. I was alone for my pregnancies as well. I had to do all of it pretty much by myself and my husband was not using then. I think you end up getting to a point of you have had enough of doing everything and watching them do nothing but complain. I too get that feeling of get out of my sight you are not alone with that one. I do voice my opinion now, but I do try and think about what I am going to say before I say it. Both my husband and oldest daughter are not liking it at all. I refuse to walk on eggshells because he is trying to stay clean. My feeling is if he cannot stay clean with everyday life and participating in it then he needs to be in rehab. I may be wrong but I am totally done with babying him in any way.

I hope you remember to do something for yourself. I will be sending prayers out to you and your baby.

jolivo

i would love to but im scared maybe of what she'll say, she is outspoken yes a good thing but also its a slippery slope. she wants what is best for the baby and myself. i dont know what she'll do tho chino.

smacked

Well.. HE can call a doctor or 911 if he needs medical care.

I hope YOU find the help you and your little baby will need. I hope you don't let pride get in the way of asking for some better guarantee of safety and health for you and that innocent child.

jolivo

thanks Smacked, i wouldnt let the pride thing do that. ive talked to a few ppl who have been/are going thru the same thing. also i have been talking to my old sa counselor about this. he told me to detach with love. and start going to nar-anon meetings. xoxo for your care.

outtolunch

Someone who wants the best for you and the baby. Who could ask for more?
You need someone to take care of you, right now.

jolivo

cynical1 and out to lunch thanks. you're both right. i need to face my fear on this

wicked

What is your fear on this that you need to face?

detaching?

Beth

jolivo

detaching yes. however with my ex husband i talked to my dad 4 advice and ended up leaving him and thats when i lost control. im afraid of losing my self control and falling flat on my face. alot of people say ahhh leave 'em however without the resources its easier said than done. i have a big trust issue when it comes to asking for help. i did that with my dad and he ended up snatching my son from me during addiction (mine) however im 4 yrs clean and he still wont give me my son back. ya see? i can understand taking a child when a person is addicted. however when that person has done a 180 they should be allowed contact with the child

jolivo

sry had brain diahhrea. my fears trusting and being hurt losing self control falling flat on my face detachment abandonment relapse

wicked

Yes, I have had and do have these same fears.
I am sorry about your 4 year old and your dad.

Would you be able to get him off the couch and out of the house?
Maybe your mom could come there occassionally (daily) to help out, make sure you are comfortable with the baby?

Beth

jolivo

that sounds like a great idea. and im so glad i dont face these fears alone that you too understand. im sure she'll be over all the time once the baby is born. all i have to do is call and most likely she'll be over without me having to call lolol. i thank every1 on here for insight and encouragement and hope. Bless You All. xoxo thanks for helping me to look inside myself to find strength

jolivo

does anyone know about suboxone, the effects what it costs and can it be prescribed outpaitent?

Oliveoyl

Yes, it can be rx'd outpatient. My xah went that route and it wasn't good. He abused that too. With your delivery date this close, I would also vote that you have somewhere for you and your baby to go. Either that or ship him out of there and tell him you'll talk after he's clean. Enjoy this new life. Don't let his bs ruin your happiness. Chances are he's still going to be detoxing while you're in the delivery room anyway.