Chino

I've made myself absolutely crazy wishing I had control.

vaya

Thank you all again for your responses. It is comforting to know there are other people out there dealing with and who have dealt with this situation. it is all sad that it should exist at all. Today I'm hoping for a window of hope for my son. He texted me earlier that he wanted to go to the hospital er, felt suicidal, was sick, and scared. I told him I'd meet him whereever or home or at the hospital and wait with him or go with him on the bus. I don't have a car, which really sucks when things like this happen. Busses don't run all night so I don't know if we can get there tonight. It sure would be nice if I had my car that was stolen so I could just pick him up after work and take him where he wanted to go. Once time settles in and the possibility of a score for him, suddenly he's not in as much of a panic. I know he's sick of being sick and just scraping by to keep from getting sick from withdrawals. Deep down he knows its nuts. He also knows he has to go to rehab so he's going to have to detox to get in. It's so sad to see him driven by this disease. I saw him this morning and he looked terrible. I don't think he's eaten in 4 days!! He's definitely having to face up to having to get help. I wish the court didn't give him 30 days. FMG, I don't know about probate court, which is what is sounds like you did, but I may talk to his lawyer about how the courtcan get him into detox ASAP or somewhere, preferably other than jail, while he waits out rehab.

I am grateful to God for this happening and hopefully bringing my son to his knees. I only pray he takes advantage of the opportunities available to him and gets sick and tired of being sick and tired!!

Meanwhile, now 2.5 hours later since the suicide text.....and I'm wondering if AS will still come by and go to the hospital!! Thank you for your prays and ESH.

litehorse

vaya - i will be praying that things will work out so that your son gets help asap - that he wants it and that is will become available - i hope that nothing i wrote sounded judgemental - that is certainly not what any of us need - take care and please know you are not alone -

vaya

Thank you again to those who responded. those of you who did have not made me feel as if anything was forced upon me. It sounds like you understand that any of us mothers of addicted children go through an inordinate amount of turmoil and must be careful about how we help our children without enabling them. Addicts do present a very similar M.O., there is no denying that. it's depressing how obsessed and controlled they become by a chemical substance, almost like there someone we don't know anymore, inhabited by some foreign entity.
I really wish there was something more we could do to make the government crack down harder on the entry and sale of heroin and other drugs in this country. It is so unfair for them to punish the addicts, in some ways, when it is because of the government's negligence that the probleme exists in the first place, along with their greed and need to make people more dependent on government, whether it be rehab, jail, medical treatment, etc.
More than that, I wish that I could have been there to prevent my son from using in the first place. When he was in his mid teens and I found out he was using I did everything I could....therapy, mental health, rehab, parent and teen groups, AA, etc. What made him turn to HEROIN while I was away and homeless, I'll never know. He hardly remembers how it started himself. Someone turned him on to it, first smoking it, and then later shooting and that was that.

I strongly believe that addicts need psychotherapy to get at the root of why they use and to learn new ways of dealing with the feelings that drive them to use. AA and NA is comforting since it helps one realize that one is not alone and offers a kind of comradery and support system. However, it doesn't always help one deal with their own feelings of inadequacy, stress, anxiety, and other feelings that drive people to use.

Anyway....just talking....good to know there's a place I can let go and share.

Day 5 today...no work for AS. His welfare benefit card came in the mail today, so I expect I'll hear from him soon. Still it kills me not knowing where he is, if he's ok, or what. Why he's on this 'run' I cannot understand. I hope he faces the fact that he is definitely strung out now and needs help. During times like these I think I'd rather have him at home, at least knowing he's ok and to try and guide him into following through with court orders and get into rehab. thank you for your prayers and hope.

FGB

Vaya, so so sorry you have to go through all this. I wish it on no mother, ever. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son. Big hugs. FGB

sojourner

Vaya: It is during the times of silence that I need to listen to the stories of recovering addicts and the events that led them to recovery. I find these in different places - mostly on the internet and download them to my MP3 player.

The common thread in the stories I have found is that the addict found recovery apart from their family. The chain of events might include something as benign as a pamphlet left in a phone booth, a religious bookstore in the neighborhood that they stopped in, just sitting alone somewhere when they encounter their HP in a big way, a policeman who drives them to a homeless shelter - you name it, our (and their) HP is at work in ways we cannot even imagine. When the student is willing, the teacher appears.

Hope that helps.

Serenity Bound

vaya, IMO it is hard to read some postings as we can not see the posters expression or hear the fear and/or love and compassion in their voices. That being said I hope that I have never come off as judgmental or condesending in my posts or replys. As a mother of a RA I fully understand your concerns.

Hugs & Prayers from one mom to another.
Chris

islandcat

We do not have a lot of facilities to help here either. When I got my son booked into detox and then rehab we had to wait a week, and that was only because I cried and begged and phoned twice a day to addiction center. We babysat him for the week, he had just got out of the hospital after getting beat up over drugs. Everyone took turns and it wasnt easy let me tell you. He would sneak out every chance he could and get high but we tracked him down and brought him home. Thank god it was only a week or we probably couldnt have done it. Some family members got to see him when he was high and now understand what we have been going through for so long. If I had let me son leave he would never have made it to rehab. Having said that he relapsed when he got out and I now choose to have very little contact with him. Good luck and do what you have to, no matter what you choose someone has already been down the same path. God bless