Getting through the Holidays
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 10
Getting through the Holidays
I am just trying to get through the holidays....for the kids. My AW and I just can't seem to find a good place. This past week, I was able to stop the yelling and just tell her how I feel. Started off with talking about my visit when she was in rehab and we spoke to the family counselor about building up trust. I reminded her of that on Sunday, and she does not believe I don't trust her (She was addictively using for most of our relationship, without me knowing, plus other things regarding promiscuity with men and women).
On Tuesday, went to a Naranon meeting which is held in the same location as her NA meeting. She just became a greeter and this was her first night. I walked in the door to enter the location. She would not acknowledge me, just a head motion to go to my meeting, after she looks toward her "group/guy friend"
After she got home from going out after her meeting, I told her that she hurt my feelings. I felt great. No yelling, no fight, just here is how I feel.
My dream has been altered..... to have a loving marriage, wonderful kids, and just enjoy my life as a husband and father.
Wonderful kids, realized dream.
Enjoy my life as a father, realized dream.
The other parts are still my dreams and hopes, they just can't be realized with this person that I married. It is sad to write that, but it is sadder to continue to raise three wonderful kids in an environment of a loveless marriage and constant tension.
I truly hope my AW finds happiness, she deserves it, WE ALL DO!
On Tuesday, went to a Naranon meeting which is held in the same location as her NA meeting. She just became a greeter and this was her first night. I walked in the door to enter the location. She would not acknowledge me, just a head motion to go to my meeting, after she looks toward her "group/guy friend"
After she got home from going out after her meeting, I told her that she hurt my feelings. I felt great. No yelling, no fight, just here is how I feel.
My dream has been altered..... to have a loving marriage, wonderful kids, and just enjoy my life as a husband and father.
Wonderful kids, realized dream.
Enjoy my life as a father, realized dream.
The other parts are still my dreams and hopes, they just can't be realized with this person that I married. It is sad to write that, but it is sadder to continue to raise three wonderful kids in an environment of a loveless marriage and constant tension.
I truly hope my AW finds happiness, she deserves it, WE ALL DO!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
You sound like your recovery is shining from where I sit and it will see you through the troubling times.
Once you decide how you want to live, the rest comes easy.
Keeping you and your kids (and yes, your wife too) in my prayers.
Hugs
Once you decide how you want to live, the rest comes easy.
Keeping you and your kids (and yes, your wife too) in my prayers.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
lostdad
It's hard to adjust to the altered version of our lives. But you are doing what you need to do to take care of yourself and as you get better at it, I'll bet it feels better and better to you.
The holidays are a tough time when families are fractured. Keep up the good work, read, post here, purge your feelings and take care of you and those great kids. We are all here for you.
gentle hugs
It's hard to adjust to the altered version of our lives. But you are doing what you need to do to take care of yourself and as you get better at it, I'll bet it feels better and better to you.
The holidays are a tough time when families are fractured. Keep up the good work, read, post here, purge your feelings and take care of you and those great kids. We are all here for you.
gentle hugs
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