lc1972

Hello all,

Well I feel like I need to vent some. My AH went through a detox stayed clean for a week and relapsed yesterday. I feel like he is a stranger, someone I do not know when he is high. So then I ask why is it wrong to respond with anger and fear? That is exactly how someone would react if someone they did not know was in their house. Those are the feelings I got yesterday and I did deal with them. I also spoke my mind to him last night without yelling or throwing insults. I then went to a Alanon meeting which was really good for me. Today I am really not sure if I want to be with him even if when he gets the implant in 11 days and can no longer use heroin.

I am wondering if any relationship has survived with addiction? Because I do not want to be in this if there are always going to be relapses. What happens if there is a next time and it damages my kids mentally? I try not to think in the future and only for today, but I have kids to consider. I am really trying to read, counseling, get to meetings and coming on this site and all has been helpful. Just still feeling pretty lost and confused at the moment!

crazybabie

I can tell you that as a child from an addicted family it had affects on me, I didn't really realize that untill lately but I look back now and can see. I am defiently codependent and I do feel that is how it started.

I thought that my childhood was "normal" (I hate that word) so I settled for much less than I deserved. I setteled for what in my eyes was the norm.

Those are just a few of the ways it has affected my life there are many more.

lc1972

I grew up with an alcoholic father and a mother that would very much enable him. She did everything including work to make up for the money he drank. The ups and downs of her behavior were actually worse than my dads. He was a drunk and a happy one at that. They divorced when I was 11, but my mom moved one addict in after another. I am now beginning to see just how much it did affect me also. That is most of why I am looking to the future. My AH was clean for 9 years and now he has a relapse? Though the last time he got clean he did not go through any counseling or to meetings and he is now. So I am just not sure what to do?????

Seren

Hi LC,

I'm sorry to hear about your husband's relapse. It is a good thing that he is now seeking help to recover and hopefully maintain that recovery.

You will have to decide for yourself whether you are willing to risk the possibility of anothe relapse for yourself and for your children. Sadly, there are no guarantees that a recovering addict will not relapse if they are not vigilant about guarding their recovery.

The good news is that he is seeking help, and you are not required to make a decision right this very minute!

Hugs to you! Protect yourself and your children, and take the time to make a plan for your future. You have the power of this decision.

Hugs, HG

dollydo

I am sorry that he relapsed. I know nothing about the implant, however I do know that addicts can switch their drugs of choice at the drop of a hat.

Keep posting, we are here for you.