Suicide threats
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,249
Originally Posted by Kindeyes 
We all know how an A can manipulate us with their words and actions. I've dealt with this for 12+ years. And, if I do say so myself, I've gotten pretty good at protecting myself and letting my A son lead his life. It's not the life I would have chosen for him but it's out of my control. I have almost perfected the art of detachment and still be able to love him.
The ONE thing that derails me is the threat of suicide. Unfortunately, he's done it for 12+ years and he knows that it derails me. It is abusive--emotionally and psychologically abusive. It rips my heart out. I've done all that a mother can do. Put him through counselling, done an intervention, put him through inpatient rehab, put him through out patient rehab. I've been financially drained and psychologically battered by my A son for a very long time.
After years of dealing with suicide threats that do not result in suicide, it eventually comes clear that it is the cruelest form of quacking. After calling the police multiple times and they never seem to be able to "catch" him, I needed to change tactic.
I agree with all of you. If someone threatens suicide, call 911. Get them help. But for me, after years of dealing with the emotional and psychological abuse of the A in my life using it as a means of controlling me. I had to lay it down. And I have never done anything more difficult in my life.
You all just experienced with me the most difficult thing a mother could do. Tell him "I love you and my heart will always be with you." and walk away. It took courage I didn't think I possessed.
The last words I said to my father a year and a half ago before his small aircraft crashed and killed him was "I love you Dad". I take great comfort in knowing that those were the last words he heard out of my mouth. Right now, the last words my son heard out of my mouth were "I love you". Now it is up to him. He will either pull himself up out of his hell hole enough to recognize that he needs help (which has been offered again) or he'll die. Certainly I pray for the former, but if it turns out to be death......I will find great comfort knowing that the last words he heard from me were "I love you".
Gentle hugs to all of you who are experiencing your own pain with a loved one in the grips of this terrible disease.
The ONE thing that derails me is the threat of suicide. Unfortunately, he's done it for 12+ years and he knows that it derails me. It is abusive--emotionally and psychologically abusive. It rips my heart out. I've done all that a mother can do. Put him through counselling, done an intervention, put him through inpatient rehab, put him through out patient rehab. I've been financially drained and psychologically battered by my A son for a very long time.
After years of dealing with suicide threats that do not result in suicide, it eventually comes clear that it is the cruelest form of quacking. After calling the police multiple times and they never seem to be able to "catch" him, I needed to change tactic.
I agree with all of you. If someone threatens suicide, call 911. Get them help. But for me, after years of dealing with the emotional and psychological abuse of the A in my life using it as a means of controlling me. I had to lay it down. And I have never done anything more difficult in my life.
You all just experienced with me the most difficult thing a mother could do. Tell him "I love you and my heart will always be with you." and walk away. It took courage I didn't think I possessed.
The last words I said to my father a year and a half ago before his small aircraft crashed and killed him was "I love you Dad". I take great comfort in knowing that those were the last words he heard out of my mouth. Right now, the last words my son heard out of my mouth were "I love you". Now it is up to him. He will either pull himself up out of his hell hole enough to recognize that he needs help (which has been offered again) or he'll die. Certainly I pray for the former, but if it turns out to be death......I will find great comfort knowing that the last words he heard from me were "I love you".
Gentle hugs to all of you who are experiencing your own pain with a loved one in the grips of this terrible disease.
Again, I truly am sorry, if I said something cruel or hurtful to you. I didn't mean it that way. I was thinking TOUGH LOVE and not really considering your innermost feelings as a mother. That was so wrong of me, because I as a mother know the hurt and pain involved, and I am hoping you can forgive me. After signing on today, and reading my first post, I realized that I made a mistake. You deserve Love and Support, not someone telling you to do things, that most likely no mother could ever do.
I hope you can accept my apology. I'm sorry.
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