exsister

I have not posted in a while. My addicted sister has breast cancer. She had a double mastectomy last weekend. They have found tumors in the lymph nodes and have diagnosed it as Stage 3. My eighty year old father, with whom she lives, has been caring for her and she is completely high, all the time. My father told me that she had patches, percocet, trammadol (sic?), fiorecet. He is mainly worried that she will overdose. He could not even take her to her oncologist yesterday, she was that ****** up. He did speak to the doctor, and told dr. about her history (addiction). We're still waiting on her chemo information, treatment, etc. I've been asking my dad lots of questions about diagnoses, but this is all I know so far. I've spoken to her briefly, but its hard to talk to her when she's wasted. Trouble is, what do I do now? Cancer? What now? She's in no condition to fight, mentally, that is. She can barely walk straight, let alone battle cancer. How can this not be rock bottom? How can I even begrudge her the drugs? I am so scared, I didn't think things could get any worse. I never thought we'd have to battle more than her addiction. Has anyone at all been through this? I feel so helpless. I hate that feeling.

Ann

I'm sorry, exsister, I don't have any answers but I have hugs and think you can use a few.

I will keep you, your sister and your family in my prayers.

Hugs

outonalimb

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister.
She's in my prayers tonight...and so are you.

sleepie

My heart goes out to you and your family. I know the feeling of helplessness, as I have a troubled, addicted younger brother I love dearly- who is seemingly beyond any help I can offer him. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

justjo

Exsister

My sister died from alcoholism and my sister in law had both breasts removed at the age of 45. I cant imagine what your sister must be going through and I totally understand where you are coming from.
Your father is 80ish, too much for him to deal with on his own. Possibly look into resources where you live that maybe able to help. What about the hospital where she was, surely they may have the help available or know where to go. My sister in law had counselling but I do understand that your sister may not be able to deal with that right now from home. Possible somewhere where she can be monitored and looked after would be my suggestion.
Jo

BayAreaPhoenix

(((hugs))) I wish I had some words of wisdom... prayers to you, your sister, your father and family - you are all in my prayers!

Chino

At some point they'll insist on her weaning off the narcotics and she'll be faced with a choice. I'll include her in my prayers, for a speedy recovery and making good choices. You and the rest of your family are in my prayers, too.

jerect

You and your family are in my prayers as well...

exsister

Thanks everyone. I'm still waiting to hear more from the doctors and my Dad. I live about an hour away from them. She's recovering well from the surgery, a nurse came for two days post surgery and removed some drains, she still has one left (there were three). I don't know what to tell her. I know she's terrified, and that's why she's using. Most of the time, I don't blame her. I wish I used, too, sometimes. It's like everything's upside down now.

Mothers Day is coming soon. I'd sworn off holidays with my sister, but had her at here at Easter with about 40 other friends and relatives because I thought that maybe her diagnoses would change something. She was high when she got here and then started drinking, lifting up her shirt and showing the bandages from biopsy scars, so as you can guess, it ended rather badly. She left here on foot to go who knows where (she lives an hour by car away), but my father got a call from the police around 11 pm that he could either come get her, or they would take her to the emergency room. He opted for the emergency room. First time ever. Unbelievable.

So, with all that, I'm still going to ask her and my dad over for Mothers Day. I have small kids, 8 and 2, and she has 11, 15 and 20 year old girls. I going to have them here as well. I had sworn off holidays with my sister, and here I am throwing a party. Unbelievable.

hello-kitty

Hang in there. Thanks for keeping us posted. Sometimes saying the serenity prayer out loud helps -

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

You'll be in my thoughts this weekend.