katie53

talked to her PO this am. ad went in for her monthly visit and the po asked her how her Easter went. ad descibed a beautiful day with her girls and family. The po know she was lying as she already talked to me. po asked her about taking a test and ad said it may not be clean cuz she smoked some weed (it was crack). PO sent her to jail. Now PO said she is going to offer her 120 day treatment at the womans prison or she will revoke her probation and it will be 5yrs. My fear. ad will call her daughter and tell her I put her in jail because I talked to her PO. Actually one of ad clean friend told me she was on the run so I called PO to find out so that if she came here I know what I had to do. PO informed me ad was being watched and asked me that if I do see her a Easter, to let her know how ad behaved. I then called and said she never showed. ad has undermined me to gd for years. Im still upset that gd was informed that mom was in jail by bf. what positive feeling was gd going to get from that info?? Maybe 120 days would help to end this, maybe not. Boy, do I need you guys. Love ya.

JMFburns

Katie,

Remember, you DO NOT cause your daughter's actions. No matter what she says, who she tells what, etc. You DO NOT cause daughter's actions. Let it roll off your back, do not defend nor try to explain yourself out of it. Shrug your shoulders, say "huh" and go about YOUR life.

If you are running around, calling this person, calling that person, driving by where AD lives, works, hangs out, etc. then back away - but I don't think that's what you're doing. So, just go about YOUR life and let AD's chips fall where they may.

And that is what you can tell your granddaughter - "I'm busy living my life and letting your mother live hers. Let's make dinner, take a walk, do the laundry, watch tv, (or whatever it is you do)."

Just my opinion, take what you like and leave the rest

katie53

thanks, those words helped me alot I talked to gd after school and told her where it's at as she gets worried I told her this could be the best thing for mom, it will be her choice. I don't want gd to think i "don't care" I do care but I have learned through al-anon to get away from the drama and to let go.
Oh Yes, I did those crazy drive bys all hours of the night, waiting for the phone to ring so I could go and rescue. i stopped 2 years ago with the insanity. I had a 100 excuses why I had to make a "qwick errand" to try to keep it all from gd.

coffeedrinker

katie,

sorry for this recent dose of pain, but glad that your daughter is relatively safe and hope that she takes the 120 plan. sounds like her po is on top of her game. me, if anyone i love was out there rippin and runnin and usin street stuff, i'd way way be in favor of them getting thrown in the tank. i know using can happen in prison as well, but at least it would be harder, or maybe more minimal?

wish you the best

katie53

Hello i just had a client here that used to be guard at the women's prison. i didnt realize how many drugs were in the prison systems! She informed it was a constant battle trying to find the hiding places. Oh well, it's her choice. It's always going to be everywhere , somewhere. She's 35 and has nothing. No credit, felony charges, lost her girls, and no job. She has to decide how she likes it so far.