sixftover

Well I picked up my husband from rehab yesterday and he looks great. He seems more relaxed, smiles more, and more grateful for everything. He seems really positive about his recovery but I can tell he is scared about everything else. His relationships, with me, his kids, and his friends. He hasn't said anything to me but I can tell. I know how to read him, always have been. I still have lots of fears inside that I am holding back from showing or telling him because I am taking this one day at a time. I can be very patient and very empathetic so I won't be going off on him whenever he does something that pisses me off. He told me that he knows he will have to earn my trust back and get me to believe in him again and that it will take time. I am trusting in his words and just want him to be the man he wants to be again.
This site has been and will be a huge help to me in "my recovery" and the things I have picked up from here I have and will be using to help him. Thanks everyone who has responded and listened.
God bless you all.
Lisa

Callie

It's a great feeling to see them fresh out of rehab. Like a rebirth of sorts. You said it right, one day at a time. Things are fragile and fresh right now.

Welcome and congratulations on your husband completing rehab.

hello-kitty

Congrats to your husband for completing rehab. Now the hard work begins...

What about you? Are you attending Alanon meetings to get support for yourself? Have you set boundaries? It might be helpful for others who are reading to read about what you have learned about yourself while your husband was away at rehab?

Spiritual Seeker

What great news !
Best of luck to your family.

Impurrfect

Welcome to SR!

I agree with Kitty. While he is working on HIS recovery, now is the time to work on YOU. I'm both an RA (recovering addict) as well as one who has loved ones who are addicts and I can tell you, there is a big difference in the paths of recoveries. Even knowing all that I do about BEING an addict, it is hard for me to keep my hands off the addict and focus on me.

However, it is the best thing to do, and it is what my family did to me, which I will forever be grateful for.

Pull up a chair, get comfortable, and stick around..you are among people who understand what you're going through...keep posting and reading. The great people here have always gotten me through every situation I've come upon.

One word of advice...go by his ACTIONS, not words.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

whereami

My prayers are with you, God bless and let's pray that you take care of you too and make time to journal, pray and visit friends to keep your mind happy and active. Love is all we need, just remember it has to go around to you as well...Happy Valentines

sixftover

Well, on our way home we talked and I told him about SR and how it has helped me. I told him about how he needs to earn my trust back. That he needs to "go where he says he is going and do what he says he's doing". And during work he will text me telling me that he is going to town for __, and when he gets home, he will tell me that too. I asked him why he does that and he said to "earn my trust back". He is also confessing to a few times that we have argued about lying. He came out and told me the truth and even showed me where he hid the pills. All of this voluntarily and unexpectedly. Is that normal? I am so grateful for it, but deep down I'm suspicious.

Insulated

I think it's pretty normal that they share where they hide the stash. Mine did the same, and I thought I knew all his hiding spots. I didn't. Showing me one didn't amount to a hill of beans. It's a great first step for you. The most significant thing I remember telling my guy after rehab is "rebuild trust? ummm...you'll have to work on benefit of doubt first. trust comes later".