katie44

Really having a bad day. I just feeling like giving up how desperate does that sound? AS sent 4 messages today begging me to help him. Spouse and I have detached it's the hardest thing we have ever done. I just know he will never hit his bottom if we continue the way we were. Our business is rapidly sinking on the verge of bankruptcy. We have been fighting this for two years and its getting worse. I dont see a way to pull out of this and quite honestly I am exhausted. Our home is attached to the business so we are going to loose that to.So many people are having difficulty out there and I feel so guilty for complaining. I am at my wits end to see AS destroying himself and to watch our lives going down the tubes I have had enough. Its at the point I dont even want to get out of bed. I will never take anything for granted again 5 years ago life was so different.

Impurrfect

(((Katie)))

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, but you can't give your AS the kind of help he needs. He wants you to give in so he can manipulate you and steal from you again.

I know it's hard, but Katie needs to take care of Katie right now. I'm telling you as both the RA and the codie...PLEASE take care of you, and let AS find help if he truly wants it. He's a smart boy...he CAN find help..he just has to put the effort into it.

My dad just got back from bankruptcy court, so I have an idea of the feelings you are dealing with. We didn't lose the house, but we can't afford to do any repairs that are needed. It's hard on even the strongest of people, so don't beat yourself up, okay. Take a deep breath, and focus on you.

Love, hugs and prayers!

Amy

hope213

((((katie)))) i feel your pain. i know how it hurts when your son is begging you to help him. remember that it is not help when u do the things he ask of you. you are the one who needs the help. it is time our sons help themselves so they can help us. i am so sorry this is happening to you. when he calls do not answer the phone or just answer the phone & tell him the truth,you need help yourself. i am sure that helping him has helped get you where u are. in my case we gave our son & his wife over 40,000$ in 12 yrs. it did them no good at all. my son is serving 7yrs. in prison.his ex wife has moved on & she does not even respect us enough to wish us merry christmas. now that hurts, she did not use & i loved her like a daughter. i will say a prayer for your son & for you & your husband. let me know how u are.

greeteachday

((((Katie))))
I'm so sorry you are going through this...Please don't feel guilty for posting how you feel - the fact that many people are struggling doesn't make it any less difficult to experience.

The only way I started moving from that feeling of total darkness and despair to a place of peace was to let go and ask my higher power to help rather than to give up. Prayers for you and your family.

Ann

Sending big hugs, Katie, and lots of prayers.

Many people who struggle with business, like you, who declare bankruptcy, feel great relief to be rid of the pressure of debt and all the stress of trying to keep their heads above water. The positive side of filing is that it gives you a chance to start over with no debt, no more phone calls or pressure, and a clear slate to begin again. You may be surprised how much money you can save once you get working again and have no debt. There are several good ways to restore your credit also, in a couple of years. Sometimes the home is not lost, depending on the cost to keep it. If it costs the same as paying rent would cost, courts often let you keep your home. Either way, it very well may be a better way of living.

And your son will be however he will be, whether you worry about him or not. Like Greet said, I find comfort in praying and giving God his life and mine to take care of.

As bad as things may be right now, sometimes it takes things getting bad before we do what we need to do to change things and make it better.

Come here and talk it out anytime you need to. We're here and walking beside you.

Hugs

BBD

Hi Katie, i really do feel for you hon. I've had those days that were just too hard to handle and staying in bed sounded so good. You must seperate the two problems and try and find a solution for the business to stay afloat. I live in upstate NY and that is happening all over here so your not alone. As far as your on goes~~stick to your guns. My son is finally finding his way ( hopefully)) cause we have cut him off of all money. He had a problem with his gf and left that house. Even though he wasn'r doing drugs at the time we still wouldn't let him move back here. He's living with a friend that doesn't smoke or drink and things are getting alot more healthier on his end. He looks great and hopefully will be setting up his business early in the spring again.....but this has all evolved cause we have given his life to him to handle.....stay strong and think about your life....big hugs mom, Bonnie

cherrie1

Hi Katie, Hang in there you are doing the right thing as far as your son is concerned but I know it sure is hard and it hurts. He really has to do this on his own. I kept helping my son and with an addict nothing is enough so he ended up getting arrested twice (one one of my worst nightmares). So all my good intentions just prolonged things. You can't stop it so step aside for your own sake (so much easier said than done). Hopefully your son can find his way to treatment. Hugs!!