Lost and lonely
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 11
Thank you, Coffeedrinker. It's very nice of you to say. I looked up meetings in my area, but am hesitant to go because I was unsure if I would be welcome, as a family member of an addict, and not an addict myself. Is there a general rule when it comes to this? Are all welcome, or does it vary? I'd never want to step on any toes. Also, can someone tell me what a "closed" meeting means? Does that mean no new members are accepted?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
what you will want to check out is an al-anon, or a nar-anon meeting - they are for the "non" alcoholic or the non-addict who loves an addict/alcoholic. i do not believe they have "open" or "closed" meetings (AA does that for more privacy)
you will most likely feel very welcome when you go. sit and listen only, sit and talk, sit and cry - all is ok. there is structure and some ground rules, but it's not difficult to navigate.
please check out a meeting or two or three. and remember your cyber friends here
you will most likely feel very welcome when you go. sit and listen only, sit and talk, sit and cry - all is ok. there is structure and some ground rules, but it's not difficult to navigate.
please check out a meeting or two or three. and remember your cyber friends here
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Heartbeats)))
My stepmom likes her pills, too. Although she's gotten better, she will still take too many at night "to sleep". In the past, my 16-year-old niece, who we are raising (her mom died in a car wreck) and I have found her passed out in the bathroom, on the floor or on the couch. She will have the slurred speech and SWEAR to me that she hasn't taken anything.
Duh, I'm a recovering addict...I did opiates before I discovered crack. Not only that, I was an RN for 12 years. I keep telling her to stop insulting my intelligence as I'm not buying it. The last time she passed out, I helped her up. When she came too, I told her that the next time, I would make sure she was breathing, nothing was broken, and I was going to leave her there. My niece has also told her she is sick of her taking the pills.
She's not abusive, thank God, but she is in denial. Yes, she has legit pain problems, but her main problem is wanting to escape from reality.
I live with my family...my own financial consequences of MY addiction. Her biggest fear is me telling my dad, as he pays for her meds, so she HAS gotten better. She's also tired of me and my niece "catching" her.
Your mom is in a very strong denial and I think you're right...nothing you say will get through. If I were in your shoes, I would just have to say "I don't have to deal with this" when things get bad and leave. My dad has anger issues and I've had to do this with him.
"Codependent No More" IS an awesome book...you will find yourself in almost every page, more than likely. Most of us did. It's amazingly comforting to realize that there is something we CAN do about all this. It isn't easy, but it's essential to our well-being.
We don't have to put up with abuse, just because they are family. Unfortunately, there are some here that have had to cut all contact with their families. Most find a workable detachment.
I came here as a severe codie. Thanks to all the great people here, I'm now the voice of reason in my family, and they are learning things by the way I handle situations. Hard to believe a a recovering codie/crackhead can be the voice of reason
I owe it all to everyone here.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
My stepmom likes her pills, too. Although she's gotten better, she will still take too many at night "to sleep". In the past, my 16-year-old niece, who we are raising (her mom died in a car wreck) and I have found her passed out in the bathroom, on the floor or on the couch. She will have the slurred speech and SWEAR to me that she hasn't taken anything.
Duh, I'm a recovering addict...I did opiates before I discovered crack. Not only that, I was an RN for 12 years. I keep telling her to stop insulting my intelligence as I'm not buying it. The last time she passed out, I helped her up. When she came too, I told her that the next time, I would make sure she was breathing, nothing was broken, and I was going to leave her there. My niece has also told her she is sick of her taking the pills.
She's not abusive, thank God, but she is in denial. Yes, she has legit pain problems, but her main problem is wanting to escape from reality.
I live with my family...my own financial consequences of MY addiction. Her biggest fear is me telling my dad, as he pays for her meds, so she HAS gotten better. She's also tired of me and my niece "catching" her.
Your mom is in a very strong denial and I think you're right...nothing you say will get through. If I were in your shoes, I would just have to say "I don't have to deal with this" when things get bad and leave. My dad has anger issues and I've had to do this with him.
"Codependent No More" IS an awesome book...you will find yourself in almost every page, more than likely. Most of us did. It's amazingly comforting to realize that there is something we CAN do about all this. It isn't easy, but it's essential to our well-being.
We don't have to put up with abuse, just because they are family. Unfortunately, there are some here that have had to cut all contact with their families. Most find a workable detachment.
I came here as a severe codie. Thanks to all the great people here, I'm now the voice of reason in my family, and they are learning things by the way I handle situations. Hard to believe a a recovering codie/crackhead can be the voice of reason
I owe it all to everyone here.Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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