husband snorts roxies
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Join Date: Jul 2009
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husband snorts roxies
I am new here. My husband started with percosets maybe 7? years ago with a script for back pain....fast forward...two years ago admitted everything...started suboxone and then has continued to relapse if you would even call it that...to the point where he has spent EVERYTHING and I kicked him out after catching him snorting blue powder (roxicet) and if I hadn't SEEN it with my own eyes he could probably still lie and get me to take him back. I'm on here because I am sad tonight. I am sad to have lost him to this and I am sad our children now come from a broken home. The way I grew up and tried so hard to keep it together for them. My husband would tell me, "don't break up our family, I have never hurt the kids and if you break us up, you will be the one hurting them."
I have a bachelors in psych and still I am living in grief/denial?:praying
I have a bachelors in psych and still I am living in grief/denial?:praying
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
What I consider a 'broken' home is one where a parent is in absentia in more ways than one due to drugs and/or alcohol while the other spouse hangs on by her/his fingernails for the sake of the kids. If you get a chance, hop over to the Adult Children forum here and read how having active addiction/alcoholism in the home affects children in the long run.
I would suggest a couple of starter books for you, "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie, and "Women Who Love Too Much" by Robin Norwood. I found them both to be excellent reads and eye-openers for me.
I do hope you continue to post, welcome to SR, and know that you are among friends!
:ghug2
I would suggest a couple of starter books for you, "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie, and "Women Who Love Too Much" by Robin Norwood. I found them both to be excellent reads and eye-openers for me.
I do hope you continue to post, welcome to SR, and know that you are among friends!
:ghug2
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I actually read both of them and I also read a couple other books on codependency, another great book regarding addiction is Dr. Drew's "cracked/life in rehab." From a biological perspective it takes the emotion out of it. Thanks for your reply.
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((Blusunflower))
Welcome to SR! I'm sorry you're hurting, but you have done the right thing, in my opinion, by removing your children from being around an active addict. I'm a recovering addict and I know that as long as I was using, I wasn't emotional available to anyone. As my addiction progressed, the more important the drugs became and the less important anything and anyone else became. It really doesn't matter what the substance (my DOC was crack)...we addicts follow a predictable path unless we seek recovery. We will get worse and we will take down anyone we can if they allow it.
I'm glad you have found us. I'm also a codie (codependent) and I left the boyfriend behind as he was still using. Even though I understand addiction, it still hurt terribly to know that he put the drugs ahead of "us". It takes time, but we get through it. Many people find support in al-anon or nar-anon helpful. There are also some wonderful people here who know exactly what you're going through and can share some ES&H (experience, strength & hope).
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Welcome to SR! I'm sorry you're hurting, but you have done the right thing, in my opinion, by removing your children from being around an active addict. I'm a recovering addict and I know that as long as I was using, I wasn't emotional available to anyone. As my addiction progressed, the more important the drugs became and the less important anything and anyone else became. It really doesn't matter what the substance (my DOC was crack)...we addicts follow a predictable path unless we seek recovery. We will get worse and we will take down anyone we can if they allow it.
I'm glad you have found us. I'm also a codie (codependent) and I left the boyfriend behind as he was still using. Even though I understand addiction, it still hurt terribly to know that he put the drugs ahead of "us". It takes time, but we get through it. Many people find support in al-anon or nar-anon helpful. There are also some wonderful people here who know exactly what you're going through and can share some ES&H (experience, strength & hope).
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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Join Date: Jul 2009
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Thank you for the warm welcome. He was a crack addict at the age of 16 and went to rehab for it and then would relapse for a couple days every couple months until he was 21. Then he was great it seemed until maybe 6 years ago... He is now 33 and I guess replaced the crack with opiates....
anyway he droppped our boys of tonight after a visit with them and he is skinnier than I've seen him since he was 16 and he was limping and just looked awful. I was angry while he was here and telling him how bad he looked etc. then after he left I felt awful for being so mean to him. so i texted him to say that it's not him that I hate it's the disease and the addiction and hope he gets help so we could possibly have a future someday....and now I am reading every post to learn how to deal with these feelings.
anyway he droppped our boys of tonight after a visit with them and he is skinnier than I've seen him since he was 16 and he was limping and just looked awful. I was angry while he was here and telling him how bad he looked etc. then after he left I felt awful for being so mean to him. so i texted him to say that it's not him that I hate it's the disease and the addiction and hope he gets help so we could possibly have a future someday....and now I am reading every post to learn how to deal with these feelings.
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Location: Atlanta
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It's hard. You'll see the 3 c's - you didn't cause it, can't control it and can't cure it. However, it took me time for all that to sink in (and I'm an addict and should know all these things!!!) It's hard not to take things personally, but I promise you the things an addict does are most often not personal. They are not doing things TO YOU...they are doing whatever they can to keep getting high, without any hassles. That is the main focus in the life of an addict.
For those of us who love an addict, we need to focus on us and stop worrying about what the A(addict) is doing or not doing. The sooner we do this, and allow the A to reap all the consequences of their actions, the better off everyone is.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
For those of us who love an addict, we need to focus on us and stop worrying about what the A(addict) is doing or not doing. The sooner we do this, and allow the A to reap all the consequences of their actions, the better off everyone is.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
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blusunflower: Here is a quote from your post. I have substituted the person and the number of years:
I can fill in the rest of the story:
He could take 25 at a time. The doctor gave him prescriptions for a hundred at a time with refills. He was addicted and mixed them with alcohol, then married a woman who did the same.
She became an ER nurse and would steal drugs from the hospital. They would snort them and shoot them up, whatever it took. They both had elective surgeries so they could get the drugs-they actually let doctors CUT into their bodies to get more painkillers. They would sue people to get more money because they were always months late on their mortgage. They forged prescription after prescription till he got caught and arrested. She kicked him out of the house when he tried to clean himself up and refused to be her "dealer" any more.
Their house went into foreclosure, their teenage son became addicted to prescriptions. They had two other, small children who they severely neglected. They sold their house and each made $75,000 on the sale. He snorted it and shot it up within one year. She bought a trailer home and moved her kids into a trailer park. He hasn't seen his children in two years.
Should I go on? There's more and it's just as ugly.
You have made the right decision. Drop the guilt and don't buy into his manipulation. I bought into their manipulation for 10 years. I had to cut all ties with my brother 2 years ago. I just couldn't take it any more. You're not breaking up your family; drugs are! You are creating a healthier family.
Originally Posted by blusunflower 
... My BROTHER started with percosets ... 20years ago with a script for back pain....fast forward...
He could take 25 at a time. The doctor gave him prescriptions for a hundred at a time with refills. He was addicted and mixed them with alcohol, then married a woman who did the same.
She became an ER nurse and would steal drugs from the hospital. They would snort them and shoot them up, whatever it took. They both had elective surgeries so they could get the drugs-they actually let doctors CUT into their bodies to get more painkillers. They would sue people to get more money because they were always months late on their mortgage. They forged prescription after prescription till he got caught and arrested. She kicked him out of the house when he tried to clean himself up and refused to be her "dealer" any more.
Their house went into foreclosure, their teenage son became addicted to prescriptions. They had two other, small children who they severely neglected. They sold their house and each made $75,000 on the sale. He snorted it and shot it up within one year. She bought a trailer home and moved her kids into a trailer park. He hasn't seen his children in two years.
Should I go on? There's more and it's just as ugly.
You have made the right decision. Drop the guilt and don't buy into his manipulation. I bought into their manipulation for 10 years. I had to cut all ties with my brother 2 years ago. I just couldn't take it any more. You're not breaking up your family; drugs are! You are creating a healthier family.
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Location: Chicago area
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Originally Posted by blusunflower
anyway he droppped our boys of tonight after a visit with them and he is skinnier than I've seen him since he was 16 and he was limping and just looked awful. I was angry while he was here and telling him how bad he looked etc. then after he left I felt awful for being so mean to him.
Most people would not ride with a drunk, let alone allow their children to be driven around by a drunk. And yet, they do not make the same choices when it's drugs, instead of alcohol.
One can be high as a kite and yet it's not as obvious as it would be with alcohol.
Addiction has a way of makeing us focus on the chaos and not what's really going on.
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thank you for all of your replies. You are right, Smacked, about coming from a broken home instead of living in one. Maybe part of the thought I didn't articulate was that the *dream* that I had of our marriage was the one I didn't want to lose. It is better without the chaos of him here. I am able to be happy and take care of the boys properly without fighting and being angry all the time. I grew up in a divorced home and turned out ok, lol, I just wanted the dream. My biggest thing right now is letting go of any idealistic visions I had of the future and letting what is going to be; be.
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