lisa1235

my bf is using agian..i couldnot believe that he would bring it around me and even use right in front of me..all this came with no warning and he says ''once in a while everyone needs a little stress relief'' wow..does he even hear himself..long story short im an addict 2..i've been clean 2 yrs and3 mos..this was the horriblest thing i had to go threw..by grace of god i didnt use..i should be mad but my heart is breaking for him..i know he's sick but its really sick that he would try an pull me into it..im hurt and confused..my problem really i still love him so im at a crossroad..

Freedom1990

No one, I repeat, no one is worth me losing my recovery over.

I relapsed after 4 years clean/sober because I was involved in a dysfunctional relationship. He was two years clean/sober when we started dating, and he relapsed a few months later. I completely lost myself in the relationship, and went right down the tubes with him.

What's your recovery worth to you?

:ghug :ghug

Impurrfect

I agree with Freedom. My recovery is THE most important thing in my life. Without it, I won't have much of a life because I know where I'll end up (for me - back on the streets until I end up in jail/prison, if not dead).

I'm sorry you're going through this, but I know I'm a codependent, and I've let those behaviors influence me so much that I have stayed in relationships that were not good for me, and the way I dealt with the pain was to use.

You and your recovery are being really, really disrespected.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

lisa1235

freedom and impurrfect,ur both right nothing is worth my recovery..thats why i stayed home this weekend and didnt call..that doesnt mean that im just over it farthest from that..i am so worried about him..we have a history and worked hard to get our lives together..i think when he got this new job making all this money it was like poision to him..im in school and work part time and take it slow to build my life..ive made a apointment to go to therapy agian ..never thought i'd be back there but i have to do whats best for me and im having trouble letting go and i have to face that its best to reach for help ..if i dont i may sink in my hurt and i dont want to go there..anyways i pray God helps him threw ..thats all i can do..

Impurrfect

((Lisa)) - no one expects you to instantly "get over it". When I got clean from crack, I had to walk away from my bf because he was still using. It hurt..a lot, but it's what I had to do.

He's still using, and I'm still clean. I pray for him and wish him the best, and there is still a part of me that wishes we could have worked it out, but I won't be with an addict.

Be good to you, sweetie, and good for you for going back to therapy!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Ann

(((Lisa))) no advice, you sound like you know what you need to do, but just sending hugs because you sound like you could use a few :ghug3

I'm glad you are taking care of yourself here, walking into hell with him won't change him, it will just kill you too. Please be careful.

Hugs

BigSis

Hey girl - if you get a minute, try a few Alanon or Naranon meetings. They really focus on the relationships in addiction. I find those to be incredibly freeing. I often end up losing misplaced guilt after attending one.

I wish you well. ((hugs))