Happiness...Yes!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
Happiness...Yes!
Yes, one day again you will be happy. Hard to believe when we are straight on faced with a loved one in the hights of addiction. I will never forget sitting in the court house, my in-laws there, we were waiting for my husband their son to appear, we saw the sheriff's van show up with all the inmates in it, backed them in and in through a hidden door and down to the cells. Bye this time we were all he had left, His wife and his parents to the bitter end. I sat there staring into space, my mother in law sitting there doing crossword puzzles and my father in law reading the paper. A cross the hall where people and they were laughing...what in Gods name I thought would anyone have to laugh at in a court house. I sat there emotionless, thinking what in hell is going on here am I dreaming this, I want to scream at the top of my lungs but I have to control myself, my in-law are so calm keep staring at them and calm down. The tears started and I looked at my mother in law and asked her...will I ever laugh again? She said yes Dear you will. That was only onetime, I had many moretime to hit the court house and yes so did his parents. Sadly enough his addiction and our fighting ended my relationship with his parents...30years with that family and it is like we never knew each other. The whole situation with his addiction sent us all crazy...really it did and words said here and there out of pier over the edge insanity with it harmed all of us. In the end we all decided within ourselves no more talking or contact. So that was the end of it and that is where it is today.
I struggles with that, but I also had two sons growing into their teens, oh boy, they were a nightmare, smoking pot, nasty, mean and police if not every weekend every other. Going to work and the school calling me at work and my answering machine full of messages from the principal...every day!
I had finally come to gripps and knew in my mind that I was going to divorce him...not something someone can tell you to do, you know and when you know you know there is just no doubt in your mind. It took me 3 years to get divorced and it did not sadden me. I had a plan of getting out of the house that was the family home when all was said and done...my husband had been gone for 5 years in and out of jail, not so much as a jug of milk on the table...but 1/2 of that house was his. I went to court and the judge awarded me the home because of the kids and no support and no sight of ever getting any support from him. I cleaned the house up and sold it, moved out of there.
My boys were so mad, I tried to expain to them, but just like talking to a brick wall and rightfully so, both of them were born and raised in that home and it was scarey to them, plus scary to me, I was making this big move on my own thoughts....my own thoughts! Well we moved....I became happy, content and there was no stopping me....what a weight was lifted off of me...the boys kind of baughted but not to bad or I just ignored it. My oldest stayed for a few month and then got his own place. My youngest is with me going to school he is 17 teen. I have my oldest over for dinner and send him home with food...he says thanks Mom! Thanks Mom? What is that about, he did't tell me to F off! Thanks Mom! He calls me, we chat and at times he pours out....I listen and don't react, he tells me more. He has his mom back!
The bills are not out of control anymore, the frig has food in it...the youngest opens up the frig and looks asks if he can have something, because I would freak if they ate something that was to be for their lunches, now he can feel free to open up the frig and take something out without fear! Isn't that sad.
I was out tonight at a fund raiser for the grads this year...my youngest is grading this year. A lady sitting across from me said you look so happy and content, I said I am. She said I am just overwhelmed by watching you and thinking of you 5 years ago...I just can't believe it. I just said to her "I follow my heart"
When you know you Know, nobody can make you know...only you know when and when not to move....maybe it is backwards oneday and forward the next. Just listen to your own heart and move to what feels right to you. Somedays we might make the wrong move, but that is ok....you always have the chance to move again...it is your heart telling you!
Your heart will guide you to Happiness!
Rose
I struggles with that, but I also had two sons growing into their teens, oh boy, they were a nightmare, smoking pot, nasty, mean and police if not every weekend every other. Going to work and the school calling me at work and my answering machine full of messages from the principal...every day!
I had finally come to gripps and knew in my mind that I was going to divorce him...not something someone can tell you to do, you know and when you know you know there is just no doubt in your mind. It took me 3 years to get divorced and it did not sadden me. I had a plan of getting out of the house that was the family home when all was said and done...my husband had been gone for 5 years in and out of jail, not so much as a jug of milk on the table...but 1/2 of that house was his. I went to court and the judge awarded me the home because of the kids and no support and no sight of ever getting any support from him. I cleaned the house up and sold it, moved out of there.
My boys were so mad, I tried to expain to them, but just like talking to a brick wall and rightfully so, both of them were born and raised in that home and it was scarey to them, plus scary to me, I was making this big move on my own thoughts....my own thoughts! Well we moved....I became happy, content and there was no stopping me....what a weight was lifted off of me...the boys kind of baughted but not to bad or I just ignored it. My oldest stayed for a few month and then got his own place. My youngest is with me going to school he is 17 teen. I have my oldest over for dinner and send him home with food...he says thanks Mom! Thanks Mom? What is that about, he did't tell me to F off! Thanks Mom! He calls me, we chat and at times he pours out....I listen and don't react, he tells me more. He has his mom back!
The bills are not out of control anymore, the frig has food in it...the youngest opens up the frig and looks asks if he can have something, because I would freak if they ate something that was to be for their lunches, now he can feel free to open up the frig and take something out without fear! Isn't that sad.
I was out tonight at a fund raiser for the grads this year...my youngest is grading this year. A lady sitting across from me said you look so happy and content, I said I am. She said I am just overwhelmed by watching you and thinking of you 5 years ago...I just can't believe it. I just said to her "I follow my heart"
When you know you Know, nobody can make you know...only you know when and when not to move....maybe it is backwards oneday and forward the next. Just listen to your own heart and move to what feels right to you. Somedays we might make the wrong move, but that is ok....you always have the chance to move again...it is your heart telling you!
Your heart will guide you to Happiness!
Rose
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Rose, this is one of the most beautiful posts I have ever seen here, it really touches my heart.
Maybe because I remember your struggle, how very hard it was for you living the way you were, and how very scary it was to think of living any other way.
I KNOW this didn't come easy for you...but I believe every word when you say "I knew when I knew and there was no doubt left".
How wonderful for you to have moved forward and be living a good life, safe and with food and happy once more. And I am thrilled to hear that your boys are okay too. I remember how hard this all was for them and how their behaviour acted out their own fears. They have followed their mama's light and found a better way to live.
God bless you, Rose, and God bless your boys. I think He already has.
Big Hugs
Maybe because I remember your struggle, how very hard it was for you living the way you were, and how very scary it was to think of living any other way.
I KNOW this didn't come easy for you...but I believe every word when you say "I knew when I knew and there was no doubt left".
How wonderful for you to have moved forward and be living a good life, safe and with food and happy once more. And I am thrilled to hear that your boys are okay too. I remember how hard this all was for them and how their behaviour acted out their own fears. They have followed their mama's light and found a better way to live.
God bless you, Rose, and God bless your boys. I think He already has.
Big Hugs
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
Thanks Ann.
I only was really trying to say...follow your heart and so be it if you step backwards and then go forward and back again...it's ok. We all learn from our mistakes and our fortunes! With every step we learn something knew.
Rose
I only was really trying to say...follow your heart and so be it if you step backwards and then go forward and back again...it's ok. We all learn from our mistakes and our fortunes! With every step we learn something knew.
Rose
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 718
Rose.... thank you for sharing that. The timing was perfect. I have also learned that "you know when you know". Then it's just let go and follow the way you are lead. It gives me comfort to hear you and know that eventually I might find that sense of contentment and happiness. I do know that being alone and struggling with my two teenagers is better than living with an addict.
It is tough to let the kids learn on their own and to allow them to see the world with their own eyes. The instinct to want to protect and make everything ok for them is HUGE... but as time goes by and I see them starting to make connections and understand what life is handing out... it helps and I know this is the only way for it to go.
Here's to your happiness and to mine! Thanks again for making me cry and making me smile!
It is tough to let the kids learn on their own and to allow them to see the world with their own eyes. The instinct to want to protect and make everything ok for them is HUGE... but as time goes by and I see them starting to make connections and understand what life is handing out... it helps and I know this is the only way for it to go.
Here's to your happiness and to mine! Thanks again for making me cry and making me smile!
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Rose...what a beautiful hopeful post - Thanks for showing us that there is hope if we justkeep putting one foot in fornt of the other and heading in the direction of healthy change. May the blessings for you and your sons continue.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 1,453
Rose you have such a beautiful spirit - your name suits you so well.
The thing that gives me so much hope with this post is that you can go through all of this and not come out bitter - that you can hold on to gentleness.
The thing that gives me so much hope with this post is that you can go through all of this and not come out bitter - that you can hold on to gentleness.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wishin' I was on the Beach!
Posts: 1,415
Hi Rose,
Thank you for sharing this. I remember your stuggles with the ex, the divorce, your boys. My ex was in prison 2 years, I took him back... he was clean maybe 3mo. We've been separated 6 months now. Just found out he is living down the same road I live on at the drug dealers with a new woman. I've already grieved the end of the marriage, so the latest news didn't hurt at all... just re-enforced my decision to go ahead with the divorce.
You are so right..... when you know, you know! It took me a long time to figure out
I couldn't change him, and life was never going to change with him. I'm getting past
the grieving part now, and looking forward to the joy and happiness. I'm so glad
you are doing so good... I can't wait for the day I can have a refrigerator full of
food, and not yelling at the kids for eating something when you're trying to stretch the
food supply! LOL Thanks again for sharing that there is happiness waiting.......
Love,
Ray
Thank you for sharing this. I remember your stuggles with the ex, the divorce, your boys. My ex was in prison 2 years, I took him back... he was clean maybe 3mo. We've been separated 6 months now. Just found out he is living down the same road I live on at the drug dealers with a new woman. I've already grieved the end of the marriage, so the latest news didn't hurt at all... just re-enforced my decision to go ahead with the divorce.
You are so right..... when you know, you know! It took me a long time to figure out
I couldn't change him, and life was never going to change with him. I'm getting past
the grieving part now, and looking forward to the joy and happiness. I'm so glad
you are doing so good... I can't wait for the day I can have a refrigerator full of
food, and not yelling at the kids for eating something when you're trying to stretch the
food supply! LOL Thanks again for sharing that there is happiness waiting.......
Love,
Ray
Just plainly tired
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: crossroads
Posts: 2,834
Hey Rose!!!
I also been there since the beginning and remember so much of what you went through with your ex, and all the changes your boys went through. Reading your update literally had the tears well up in my eyes.
Rose I am so happy for you!! I am sending you many hugs!!
Hugs,
jewelz
I also been there since the beginning and remember so much of what you went through with your ex, and all the changes your boys went through. Reading your update literally had the tears well up in my eyes.
Rose I am so happy for you!! I am sending you many hugs!!
Hugs,
jewelz
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
Each and everyone of us all have 3 common wonderful gifts within in us that nobody can take away from us....
Our HP....
Our own Hearts....
The Support and Love from our Friends here at SR....
Just knowing this brings so much happiness,
Rose
Our HP....
Our own Hearts....
The Support and Love from our Friends here at SR....
Just knowing this brings so much happiness,
Rose
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Perth western australia
Posts: 13
How wonderful is SR that 6 years after this was posted I stumble accross it is and it is exactly what I need to hear.
Thank you so much Rose for this post, I'm not sure if you still visit SR but I hope you know the sense of peace that reading this has brought to my heart.
My BF ( of 7 yrs ) has just relapsed after 3 yrs clean of meth addiction. Whilst he has his own struggles and demons, my struggle is whether or not to stay in the relationship. I dont yet know if I will stay or go but I do believe that I will know when I know......
I am so glad you had a wonderfully happy ending with your sons...............
thank you for being an inspiration
x
Thank you so much Rose for this post, I'm not sure if you still visit SR but I hope you know the sense of peace that reading this has brought to my heart.
My BF ( of 7 yrs ) has just relapsed after 3 yrs clean of meth addiction. Whilst he has his own struggles and demons, my struggle is whether or not to stay in the relationship. I dont yet know if I will stay or go but I do believe that I will know when I know......
I am so glad you had a wonderfully happy ending with your sons...............
thank you for being an inspiration
x
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
