suggestions? do i wait it out and let him get help or make him leave?
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: wv
Posts: 1
suggestions? do i wait it out and let him get help or make him leave?
I dont know what to do. I want to be there for my husband because its an addiction something he cant control. He gets a prescription for percocets. He buys loratabs for breakthrough pain. And when I give him drug tests he passes them. But I am afraid he is on oxys and they show up as percocets. He told me he isnt but he does everything else so I can trust him.
And now I found a 12mg fentenyl patch and i know he is going to say it is so he can get off of everything without having symptoms. cause i get mad when he lays in bed. I have 2 kids under 4 and need help that why i get mad. I also found ritalin and adderall. I really want him to change and realize he is getting ready to lose everything. but i never do anything so he probably knows he can get away with it. his sister is in a nursing home for overdose, his best friend died, and his brothers in jail. He wont get a grip.
We have been like negative 800 in the bank since october. He takes large amounts of money and tries to hide it. His phone records are ridiculous. Like all the calls are 1-2 minutes and never longer. He texts which I plan on getting his sim card to see whats been going on there.
I just dont know what to do. I want him to get help. I really do but I have 2 kids that i dont want to grow up around this.
please help
And now I found a 12mg fentenyl patch and i know he is going to say it is so he can get off of everything without having symptoms. cause i get mad when he lays in bed. I have 2 kids under 4 and need help that why i get mad. I also found ritalin and adderall. I really want him to change and realize he is getting ready to lose everything. but i never do anything so he probably knows he can get away with it. his sister is in a nursing home for overdose, his best friend died, and his brothers in jail. He wont get a grip.
We have been like negative 800 in the bank since october. He takes large amounts of money and tries to hide it. His phone records are ridiculous. Like all the calls are 1-2 minutes and never longer. He texts which I plan on getting his sim card to see whats been going on there.
I just dont know what to do. I want him to get help. I really do but I have 2 kids that i dont want to grow up around this.
please help
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
Posts: 1,316
suggestions? do i wait it out and let him get help or make him leave?
mcveys, From your post it really doesn't sound like he is going to get help, it sounds more like he feels that he has NO problem. You know that you can't cure him, you can't fix him. Telling him to get help, checking on his phone records, texts, etc is NOT going to change the situation, it's not going to change the addict, all it WILL DO is keep you addicted to Him.
You need to step back, and really consider what kind of life you want for YOU & your kids. Addiction is progressive, it's not going to better unless the "A" wants it, too.
Sending you hugs & Prayers,
Chris
mcveys, From your post it really doesn't sound like he is going to get help, it sounds more like he feels that he has NO problem. You know that you can't cure him, you can't fix him. Telling him to get help, checking on his phone records, texts, etc is NOT going to change the situation, it's not going to change the addict, all it WILL DO is keep you addicted to Him.
You need to step back, and really consider what kind of life you want for YOU & your kids. Addiction is progressive, it's not going to better unless the "A" wants it, too.
Sending you hugs & Prayers,
Chris
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
i never do anything so he probably knows he can get away with it
Addiction is a progressive disease. It only gets worse, never better.
How much worse does it need to get before you take action?
You didn't cause his addiction, you can't control it, and you can't cure it.
He's taking food out of those little ones' mouths with the money he's spending on drugs.
At what point do you say enough is enough?
:ghug :ghug
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Honey - How about think about what you what you can do for you?
What actions you can actually do. Because as so many of us know and you probably already know - there is absolutely NOTHING you can do for him.
You didn't cause it
You can't cure it.
You can't control it.
Nothing changes if nothing changes - imagine the possibility of a life in a better place - take one small step at a time - one small thought toward something that could make that better life a possibility for you and your children - trust me - I believe that you will some day come to know that it is worth it.
YOU are worth it!!
HUGS to you,
Rita
What actions you can actually do. Because as so many of us know and you probably already know - there is absolutely NOTHING you can do for him.
You didn't cause it
You can't cure it.
You can't control it.
Nothing changes if nothing changes - imagine the possibility of a life in a better place - take one small step at a time - one small thought toward something that could make that better life a possibility for you and your children - trust me - I believe that you will some day come to know that it is worth it.
YOU are worth it!!
HUGS to you,
Rita
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