Ann

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Surrender

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.
--Step Three of Al-Anon

Surrendering to a Power greater than ourselves is how we become empowered.

We become empowered in a new, better, more effective way than we believed possible.

Doors open. Windows open. Possibilities occur. Our energy becomes channeled, at last, in areas and ways that work for us. We become in tune with the Plan for our life and our place in the Universe.

And there is a Plan and Place for us. We shall see that. We shall know that. The Universe will open up and make a special place for us, with all that we need provided.

It will be good. Understand that it is good, now.

Learning to own our power will come, if we are open to it. We do not need to stop at powerlessness and helplessness. That is a temporary place where we re-evaluate where we have been trying to have power when we have none.

Once we surrender, it is time to become empowered.

Let the power come, naturally. It is there. It is ours.

Today, I will be open to understanding what it means to own my power. I will accept powerlessness where I have no power; I will also accept the power that is mine to receive.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Ann

When I began to work the steps, I did so because I was exhausted, I had run out of options. I surrendered because I could not go one more day living like I had been living.

I had no idea the great miracles that would occur in my life once I let go and let God. I had no idea that I would soon live without fear, without pain and instead live in the light of faith and love.

I gave my life to God because I could no longer take care of it. He has taken wonderful care of it, ever since, and I have never regretted the decision.

Hugs

imallright

I know it's like anything else...you have to be ready and it has to be the right time and then it will make sense. Right now, I recognize that there are some areas in my life... and maybe those who are further along the curve will say ALL... that are not within my control or power. However, I am still trying to come to grips with "giving up or not taking action vs. letting go and letting God". Examples or clarity from my friends here??

Thanks!

Ann

We each had to reach our "enough" point in our own time, and there is never any rush. We are ready when we are ready and not a moment before.

Letting go and letting God, for me, was not giving up, not at all. What it did for me was to exchange fear for faith and chaos for peace.

As long as there is a breath left in my body, I will hope. What I will not do is get in God's way and try to save what is not mine to save, and instead I will trust that He can do for me what I cannot do for myself (and my son).

It's hard to explain, but again, when the time is right, the answer becomes clear.

Hugs

greeteachday

I think not taking action is very often not the same as giving up. Giving up to me is something done out of despair. Not taking action can often be a conscious choice...I'm not sure what to do right now, so I will wait and see how things unfold, or the things I have always done before do not help so it is better to do nothing and let the person assume responsibility for his own conduct/actions.

One of the greatest mental illustrations for me to "get" the idea of not trying to control that over which I was powerless is the hoola hoop image. When I encountered a situation where i want to get myself involved, I visualize the hoola hoop. Is the event something within my ability to control - inside the hoola hoop? If it is my "stuff"...things that happen due to my actions or lack thereof, than it's in my hoola hoop and I determine what I want to do. If it isn't because it is someone else's stuff, I say the Serenity Prayer and than I ask my HP to help me let it go.

There more I practice this, the easier it becomes. Hugs

AquaBlue

Thank you for this. This is where I'm currently struggling and causing myself more heartache.

I feel like I understand the concept of letting go, turning everything over to God (my HP), and will have a day of peace and strength and then the very next day I feel very fragile and feel like what I'm doing (which is nothing-for my son) goes against my very being as a mom. Every fiber in me aches. I am in the early stages of letting go, it's been 2 weeks since son has been "on the streets," and 1 week since I've heard from him. So, maybe I'm still processing/grieving things? I'm wanting peace too soon?

I guess as I'm typing this, I realize that I need to practice patience with myself and the process of letting go. We are still working on getting his truck sold, his room at the rental house rented out, etc., and maybe once those things are in the past I'll be able to get the focus off of my son and back onto myself, my husband and my other son.

I just want the chaos on my insides to die... I really want to feel peace. I realize I'm a work in progress.

Sorry for rambling, thanks for reading- just needed to get these thoughts out.

cece

One of my favorite!
This page in the book helps me understand the first 3 steps.
I always felt that saying " I am powerless" was a "cop-out" and a reason for doing nothing about our lives and giving up.
I was a worker and a doer, and had a problem with sitting back and waiting for "anything" to happen.

When i finally noticed that my efforts to fix things in my life were about as powerful as using one feather to fly, I knew that I needed help beyond my own efforts.
I was a mess of defeat and hopelessness. Thats when I understood what powerlessness was, but I didn't like it!!!

I turned my will over to God because I felt I had tried everything else, and I had nothing else to give or try. But I didn't turn myself over to God as I understood him out of faith, but as a last ditch effort. But It worked anyway. ( although slowly!)
When I stopped trying to fly with a feather or beat a brick wall down with my fist, or talk a son down off of a cliff with my "perfect words", God finally had space to come in as I was quiet long enough to hear a bit.
It was a painfully slow process because I am a powerful ,strongwilled, obstacle for God.

The biggest revelation came when I read the March 8th passage in "Language of Letting Go" last year, and realized its not about powerlessness but empowerment.
Once I let go, and slowly became open to listening to God's direction, I felt a sense of strength and powerfulness because when I listened I had a direction to follow, a path that focused on me.
The strength I feel now has me more powerful than I ever felt when I believed I was totally in control of my life and the lives those I loved.
Its about empowerment in letting go.

imallright

I get the letting go part... I think. I am just never sure what action to take. Is it because any action or lack there of is the right one. I feel like I can't get out of my own way. Like I am not moving. But when I don't move, I feel like I should. But I am afraid... what is this all about.

I made some BIG moves to take myself away from the addiction in my life... but now I need to make some moves to live my life and I am not sure what to do. Does any of this make sense????

gotahavfaith

Imallright

Makes perfect sense to me! I am so confused on what to do right now that I feel like I am just letting everything go and not doing anything. But maybe that is what I am supposed to do????

For me I guess it is just getting through another day and half way enjoying it.
Gotahavfaith:praying

Chino

If you're speaking figuratively... try eggs cooked every way possible until you find the kind you like

Anyone remember the movie Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts? She was like a chameleon in that she adapted to everyone's wants and needs. She lost herself so badly she didn't even know what kind of eggs she preferred.

Life is a smorgasbord and we get to pick what we want and leave the rest.

imallright

Thank you. I am so confused right now it's not funny. I want to move forward, but I am scared. I am lonely, but I am afraid to reach out. I am trying not to "control" and just let things happend and it seems like nothing is happening. I want to be around people, but I don't know how to do that. Man, I feel so messed up. My therapist keeps saying that I have made sooo much progress and I am so strong. Why don't I feel that way???? Granted, I am not crying all the time, but when do I start to feel good?????

Chino

Have any hobbies or special interests? I'm into photography and for a few years now, have said I'm going to join a local club. When I get tired of shooting alone I'll give them a call, but probably not a moment before then.

I was a volunteer for many years with senior citizens. I've contacted our local VA hospital and with all the experience I have, they want me to start yesterday.

I have a cousin who battled loneliness. Because she's a practicing Christian, I asked her if her church had any groups to join. She joined their bible study group and has made many wonderful friendships.

Do you participate in f2f meetings?

brownimr

I love this passage. I have struggled with this concept since my first Alanon meeting and hearing the steps. I read it the moment Ann posted it. I thought how appropriate, it has replaced the struggles with my AW as the biggest struggle in my life.

What do you think happened when I went to Church and it was the topic of the sermon? How about later when it became the focus of our small reset study group? Way to coincidental for me. My Higher Power is still trying to tell me something. I can't figure it out.

What you have to realize is that for me. I had drifted away from faith during my marriage. I'll never know why she turned to drugs. I'll never understand why she lied to me about everything. I'll never know what I shared with her was real and what was a lie. I have focused on that for the last 2 months. I reached a point of insanity searching through my past trying to find a way to deal with my present, to save the step kids from realizations about their mother, to bring their mother back, to bring back her mother's daughter. I thought I could. I have been able to achieve anything in my life I every put my mind to and my will behind. In a fetal ball laying in a pool of tears, one week and one day ago, I admitted to my HP that I could not do it. He did for me what I could not do for myself. He pushed me out the door to church. Made new friends and showed me the path to one of my neighbors, with about a 24 mile detour. Gave me a hug from one of my daughters friends. Then he made me work step 12 and give back through service to speak to a mirror image of myself 3 months ago in an Alanon meeting Monday night because the topic was humility and reaching that point to realize you have to let go. I never imagined I would live a miracle, to feel first hand his grace touch my life. I have no doubt that there is a plan for my life.

My struggle is the balance my self will plays in living my life versus his will for me. I can't tell the difference. I look at the self will my AW has imposed, and I realize 12 lives were immediately and profoundly thrown into chaos. Most have not found their way back to an ordered existence yet. I have no faith that I can tell the difference until after I act and see what happens. Was it a smooth effortless event that produced a positive result? Am I currently sane enough to even realize what a positive result is? I wish meditation helped. I am now able to stay clear and calm for a period of time, but I feel no connection to my HP. cece - you talk about slowly listening to God's direction. I don't hear it. I don't have the faith to take that first step in the dark not knowing if it is in the right direction or not. Isn't that what really paralyzes us? What if I am doing the wrong thing. You have to have the faith and then it is effortless. I am so confused and strain so hard now, I can't believe any decision I make is God's will even after he has shown me benefits of some of my actions. I just took longer to say the same thing imallright said.

Serenity Bound

delete

Serenity Bound

I struggle with meditation. Just can't keep my mind quiet long enough to hear God's voice. When my mind is in turmoil, I have to literally make myself turn my mind to other things (beautiful day, precious grandkids, etc......instead of OMG this, that & the other). Then I let go & pray.

NeedingHelp7

[quote]What do you think happened when I went to Church and it was the topic of the sermon?[quote]

Saturday night our sermon was on burdens.

Some burdens we share, some burdens we shoulder, and some burdens we shed.

The song at the end was.....

I surrender all.

hmmmmmm...