katie53

Just was informed by my daughter that she talked to an old friend who lives 65 mi. away. She informed me that she is making plans to move there. They used together up until a year ago when her friend moved. Daughter claims she can get a job there with no problem. Never mentioned her 2 girls. I believe they are not part of her new plans. She does not mention going back to rehab. She was out of a 3 month center and went back to using crack about 2 weeks of getting out. She claims the 6 months in jail is keeping her clean. WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF IT!!!!. She's leaving 2 beautiful daughters behind. I took guradianship of both girls. Wouldn't you think her first priority would be to gain them back ? Rather than moving away with a guy she met 5 weeks ago?? I have gone to many alanon meetings and this is so opposite of what I have learned addicts must do for recovery. Even going to room with an old friend from crack using days. She claims this friend has been clean for about 10 months now. drinks and parties, but no crack. I believe itss just a matter of time. Truthfully, I wouldn't even want her daughters to be with her. No trust.

Callie

Ditto , ditto , and ditto.

Serenity Bound

I have to say that is the hardest thing for me to understand. My AD also has 2 daughters, and it is so sad to see a mother think more of her own life & drugs then of her children. Of all of the craziness of an addict, that has to be my anger button.

Big hugs to you for taking in those precious little ones.

jan123

Big hugs and good thoughts to you and the little girls. She is missing out on so much REAL joy!

Callie

She really, really is. Those kids are what it's ALL about. GOOD for you for providing that!

MyJoey

Katie,

I am so glad you are there for the girls, they don't deserve this and I am sure this not how you planned to send your time being a grandmother, raising them.
Your right I don't think your daughter is ready to get clean or live up to her responsibilities. She thinks since you have guardianship she is free to go do as she pleases. I hope you can still hit her good with child support, it seems she is getting off free here. I am sorry I know this must be so hard for you. Will her children miss her? It maybe better for them to just let her go.

Spiritual Seeker

Katie, I understand why you keep an eagle eye on your daughter...to try to determine if the kids are safe with her and if there is any chance in the near future that she will be able to step up and be the mother they deserve. All the signs are telling you NO.

You have little choice but to keep doing what you're doing because she is not going to at this time. Keep the faith that her time will come. In the meantime don't drive yourself crazy worrying about her every action. Focus on your life and the grandkids. Be grateful for what is working...if this is possible.

caileesnana

Your granddaughters are lucky to have you! When my AD is using, there is noone more importmant than her DOC. Until they are in recovery and their brain has time to heal there is not "understanding" what they do. It is the addicition taking over.

prayers for you and yours,
susan