outtolunch

People addicted to opiates have a tendency to lose a lot of weight and do not take care of themselves. No one knows this better than the ER staff. There is absolutely nothing an ER can do for him. Addiction, weight loss and filth are not medical emergencies.

You did not cause this. You cannot control this. And you most defineitely cannot cure this. It's his problem and you have no control over him or his choices.

What you can do is start attending Alanon or Naranon meetings to help yourself and truely hand this off to God.

HurtingDad

You've come to the right place for help, advice and just venting when needed.

Can't add much to what others have already wisely written. My AS is 22 yrs. old and I know the pain and struggle you are dealing with. Please take care of yourself.

Prayers going out for you and your son.

AquaBlue

Welcome Shay,

I'm also a mom of a 21 yr. old addicted son. Mine stays away when using (which is often) so I don't know details of what he's using. My son is also a good kid, like all the "kids" here. It's so sad that drugs change who they really are.

I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone and I could relate to your post. I'm in the process of working on myself, as that's all I have control over...

Big hugs to you!

HelpingDarryn99

Thank You all so very much for every single word.. I know that I am powerless over this addiction.

I know I am a enabler, a control freak and I now understand that I can not change him, I can not make him stop and I can not love him out of this.

What I have determined is this. I can control my own life, I can change my own life and I can love myself and this is what I intend to do.

I have tried talking to my sister about my decision to let go and let god, she is determined to make me feel guilt for my decision and I told her she can feel anyway so wants, but my decision to lay the boundries are there and I will not allow my son Darryn to dictate my life or feelings anymore.

I am going to attend a NARANON Meeting on Tuesday evening, there are not alot of them in Rhode Island which is a shame, but I am going to one next week and I know that I personally have alot to change, but I can only do it one moment at a time.

Thank you so much again for every single word..It has helped so much
May our Lord bless all of us and our addicts..
Hugs
Shay

Serenity Bound

Shay, Goodness as you described yourself (control freak, enabler, etc) I thought that you were describing me. How did she know I thought!

You certainly are doing the right things. It is so easy for those who have not walked in our shoes to tell us how to handle situations, that they know nothing about.

I'm so glad you are going to attend Nar-Anon. There is only one in my county also, so I attend Al-Anon when I need more than one meeting a week.

Good Luck & God Bless,
Chris

HelpingDarryn99

Thanks Chris {hugs}}

I think we all have been in the same personalities some time in our life..LOL
I do intend to work on my control issues. This has always been my life but I am willing to change, I will admit its scary to look at one's self and notice all the imperfections...
Hugs Shay

outtolunch

You have your head on straight. Most people do not understand the nature of addiction and are compelled to blame someone. You cannot control your sister or her desire to project this on you. Please do not give her any power over you and feel any guilt about this. Responsibility lies within your son. When he's ready to embrace recovery, he will be ready and not a minute sooner, no matter what you or she does, or not.

HelpingDarryn99

Thank You OTL

hello-kitty

Just want to say hi and welcome to you. I am a single mom. My son is three. My biggest fear is that he follow in his fathers footsteps and become an addict. There are some wonderful parents on this site who are dealing with addicted children. You will find lots of support, understanding, and experience here.