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Old 01-08-2009, 01:04 AM   #1 (permalink)
ah75218
 

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Help (Heroin Addiction)


Please help me. I am at my wits end.

Three of my close friends have become addicted to heroin, including my best friend. He has changed completely. I no longer feel like I truly know him. The three friends have been bingeing for the last month. They'll drive seven hours to get heroin, up to four days a week. I don't understand it. They consistently have no money and are always trying to sell something to get just a little bit of cash.

Watching my best friend succumb to heroin addiction has been heartbreaking. I cry more than I'd like to admit, just thinking about how he has changed so drastically, so quickly. He's been shooting up for only three or four months. I feel like my three friends are only encouraging and deepening each other's addictions.

What can I do? My common sense tells me that this is emotionally too draining on me, that I should accept the distance he has put between the two of us and try and move on. But my heart tells me that he's my best friend and I love him no matter what. I just don't want to stand by and watch as he slowly ruins himself. Talking to him doesn't help, he only ends up defensive and angry with me. I've become depressed as a result of the strain on our friendship.

What can I do? Please, any advice you can give me will be appreciated. I just want my friend back.
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Old 01-08-2009, 01:45 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Welcome, ah. I am sorry about your friend, sadly addiction affects all who love an addict. And if love could save them, not one of us would be here.

Sadly, he is on a roll and not likely to stop until the pain of using becomes greater than the fear of stopping. If he and his friends stay on the course they are on, it won't be long before the fun runs out and it becomes a darker time for him, so that alone may help. Nothing you do or don't do will make any difference, as much as you'd like to help.

You might be best to keep a safe distance, as he seems to indicate, and just let him know that you are there for him if he begins making better choices and takes "action" to do something about this. Words, no matter how well intended, are meaningless with active addicts. They cannot keep promises to themselves, let alone anyone else.

Take a read around and make yourself at home. We're here for you and we've been where you are so you are among people who understand.

Hugs
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Old 01-08-2009, 05:20 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR!

I agree with what Ann said. As a recovering addict (crack) myself, I can tell you personally vouch for the fact that nothing ANYONE said or did would have made me quit using until I hit my bottom. The only thing that DID help was the people who let me hit bottom faster, by letting me face the consequences of my using.

I had family/friends that never stopped loving me, but they distanced themselves from me. I was left with only the people I did dope with. I thought it was fun, for a while, but it really wasn't and it lost appeal when the consequences started piling up and I had no choice but to face them.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
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Old 01-08-2009, 05:21 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Your friends are gambling with their lives. Herion is a killer I know first hand my son died taking this evil drug. Herion gets a hold on your soul and doesn't want to let go untill they want to beat it and it is not a over night thing. The one important thing is your friend has to want kick it no words from you will change things. He has to make up his mind to stop. So tell him when he is ready you will support him don't put yourself through all the heart acke when the drug is the most important things in his life.
I will pray for you and your friend
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Old 01-08-2009, 06:31 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I am sorry for the circumstances that brought you here. I agree with what everyone else has said. It's all about the consequences.

Tolerance builds as addiction persists, meaning an addict will need more and more and the habit becomes more costly. This is usually when an addict begins to con and steal from friends and family, the people who care most about them.

Give your friend a wide berth and the dignity to realize the consequences sooner rather than later. Protect your heart, your stuff and your pocketbook.
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Old 01-08-2009, 07:15 AM   #6 (permalink)
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So if I did distance myself from him and our other friends using, would it have an effect on them? Or can I only cross my fingers and hope?
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Old 01-08-2009, 07:17 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Cross your fingers, say a lot of prayers and hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
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Old 01-08-2009, 11:56 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ah75218 View Post
So if I did distance myself from him and our other friends using, would it have an effect on them? Or can I only cross my fingers and hope?
If you distance yourself from them, it will probably have no effect on them.

If you stick around, it will probably have no effect on them.

What you do or not has no bearing on them. The only person you control is yourself.

What you can do is protect yourself from the most certain emotional and physical chaos that is addiction. Accepting that we have no control or influence over other people's choices, any choices, is a hard pill to swallow.
Their addiction has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Cross those fingers and hope. Miracles happen every day.
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Old 01-08-2009, 12:06 PM   #9 (permalink)
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My ex-abf is a heroin addict and so are 2 of my good friends. It's really sad that almost everyone I know, knows someone who is using heroin. What everyone else has said is pretty much what I would say as well. Your friend is not going to stop until he hits his bottom. My ex has been in and out of recovery. He has stolen from me, and his family to support his habit. His parents almost lost their house because of him. He's in a program now, but who knows if he will stay there to complete it. I hope he gets court ordered to complete it. Here is poem he got in a detox once. It pretty much sums it up. He liked it, it made me sad. Please take care of yourself.

Take Me in Your Arms

(Miss Heroin)

So now, little man, you've grown tired of grass
LSD, goofballs, cocaine and hash,
and someone, pretending to be a true friend,
said, "I'll introduce you to Miss Heroin."

Well honey, before you start fooling with me,
just let me inform you of how it will be.

For I will seduce you and make you my slave,
I've sent men much stronger than you to their graves.
You think you could never become a disgrace,
and end up addicted to Poppy seed waste.

So you'll start inhaling me one afternoon,
you'll take me into your arms very soon.
And once I've entered deep down in your veins,
The craving will nearly drive you insane.

You'll swindle your mother and just for a buck.
You'll turn into something vile and corrupt.
You'll mug and you'll steal for my narcotic charm,
and feel contentment when I'm in your arms.

The day, when you realize the monster you've grown,
you'll solemnly swear to leave me alone.
If you think you've got that mystical knack,
then sweetie, just try getting me off your back.

The vomit, the cramps, your gut tied in knots.
The jangling nerves screaming for one more shot.
The hot chills and cold sweats, withdrawal pains,
can only be saved by my little white grains.

There's no other way, and there's no need to look,
for deep down inside you know you are hooked.
You'll desperately run to the pushers and then,
you'll welcome me back to your arms once again.

And you will return just as I foretold!
I know that you'll give me your body and soul.
You'll give up your morals, your conscience, your heart.
And you will be mine until, "Death Do Us Part"
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Old 01-08-2009, 01:53 PM   #10 (permalink)
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oh how I hate that drug.

you really need to stay away from them, they will do whatever they want and theres not a thing you can do. I assume you have tried to talk to them already and from the sound of it, it may not change.
be careful of them, drug addicts can say things that they know you want to hear in order to get you to do what they want.
don't lend money, don't give them anything including access to your home or your things. they will steal them, yes your best friend will steal from you. If you were laying on the street dying and you had $10 in your hand they will take the money before helping you. it's not them its the addiction, they can't help themselves.

so cross your fingers and say lots of prayers

sorry for sounding so mean but its the way it is

good luck
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Old 01-09-2009, 06:42 AM   #11 (permalink)
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That poem is frightening. I read it once at a parent's night at a rehab program with my son, but put it out of mind. It's just to true.

As far as your friends go, they need to travel their own path, not matter how badly they've chosen the path to use. Good luck and prayers for all of them. They will steal from you.
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Old 01-09-2009, 10:33 AM   #12 (permalink)
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welcome to s.r. there is alot of true advise above me. just want to send a hug & tell you to read the stickys at the top of the forum. keep coming back..
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