Parents Check In (2008)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Hackettstown, NJ
Posts: 692
Parents Check In (2008)
Hello, dear fellow parents. I don't think we've done this in a while. Why not recap the whole year? (in a few sentences if possible) I'll start:
The bad news is my AD Leah is still smoking crack;
The good news is she got off of heroin!
The bad news is she needed to start on HIV meds;
The good news is they are working!
The bad news is she walked out of 4 treatment facilities without completing any;
The good news is she was willing to try.
The bad news is she's still with the physically abusive much older BF;
The good news is she has a roof over her head.
The bad news is she is still in great danger.
The good news is she is still alive!
The bad news is I am powerless over her and her addiction.
The good news is I am learning how to let go, let God, and live!
The bad news is my AD Leah is still smoking crack;
The good news is she got off of heroin!
The bad news is she needed to start on HIV meds;
The good news is they are working!
The bad news is she walked out of 4 treatment facilities without completing any;
The good news is she was willing to try.
The bad news is she's still with the physically abusive much older BF;
The good news is she has a roof over her head.
The bad news is she is still in great danger.
The good news is she is still alive!
The bad news is I am powerless over her and her addiction.
The good news is I am learning how to let go, let God, and live!
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Good morning Sleepygoat,
Both of my sons are sober for today.
The oldest's GF is expecting a baby (boy) on St. Pats. day.
(please everyone pray they choose a nice name, right now they're thinking
about "Forrest" and I keep thinking "Run Forrest RUN!")
The youngest lost his job
BUT is working with an old boss...part time.
He's still with his GF, (who we really love)
although they've had their ups and downs.
The oldest never works.
BUT, his GF works and was just
accepted into a good college.
Looking forward to looking into the eyes of my
new grandbaby, and the smell of baby powder, this year.
Both of my sons are sober for today.
The oldest's GF is expecting a baby (boy) on St. Pats. day.
(please everyone pray they choose a nice name, right now they're thinking
about "Forrest" and I keep thinking "Run Forrest RUN!")
The youngest lost his job
BUT is working with an old boss...part time.
He's still with his GF, (who we really love)
although they've had their ups and downs.
The oldest never works.
BUT, his GF works and was just
accepted into a good college.
Looking forward to looking into the eyes of my
new grandbaby, and the smell of baby powder, this year.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Burnsville, MN
Posts: 966
Hi,
My AS is currently homeless but claims he went to Catholic Charities yesterday and did a Rule 25 (financial assistance for treatment) assessment and mental health assessment. Says he is not currently using drugs, wants help with his life and is trying to find help w/the mental aspect but realizes will need to take help w/addiction aspect as well.
I got myself an Al-Anon sponsor this past week and look forward to continued growth by attending both Nar-Anon and Al-Anon.
Joan
My AS is currently homeless but claims he went to Catholic Charities yesterday and did a Rule 25 (financial assistance for treatment) assessment and mental health assessment. Says he is not currently using drugs, wants help with his life and is trying to find help w/the mental aspect but realizes will need to take help w/addiction aspect as well.
I got myself an Al-Anon sponsor this past week and look forward to continued growth by attending both Nar-Anon and Al-Anon.
Joan
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
I'm doing better than I ever have in my entire life.
I've learned to own my issues, even embrace them.
I've FINALLY learned how to live one day at a time.
My RAD is still sober, despite her surgeries and ongoing physical rehab.
She's learning how to deal with life on it's terms, and still be happy.
I've learned to own my issues, even embrace them.
I've FINALLY learned how to live one day at a time.
My RAD is still sober, despite her surgeries and ongoing physical rehab.
She's learning how to deal with life on it's terms, and still be happy.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
Posts: 1,011
this year has been a hard one with some good things along the way.
AS reached a crisis this summer with facing homelessness because of eviction (good) - i did not cave (good) but enabling family have let him in their home, and their home is a black hole of enabling (bad). But in the process, AS gave up possession of dog I was so worried about, and I now have her (good). I decided to set boundary with enabling family and with son this Christmas of no contact which i followed through with (very good) although it did not feel good while i was going through it, especially the way I set it by just ignoring phone calls instead of having a "discussion." On the one hand i felt like a coward for doing it that way and on the other hand i knew that any "discussion" would just lead to more drama (good/bad mixture, i'm still recovering from that). But the bottom line is i decided to set a boundary and followed through with it.
Just for today, i feel at peace and in sync with God knowing that He has a plan for everybody - including my best interest, the best interest of my family, and the best interest of my family here at Sober Recovery...
AS reached a crisis this summer with facing homelessness because of eviction (good) - i did not cave (good) but enabling family have let him in their home, and their home is a black hole of enabling (bad). But in the process, AS gave up possession of dog I was so worried about, and I now have her (good). I decided to set boundary with enabling family and with son this Christmas of no contact which i followed through with (very good) although it did not feel good while i was going through it, especially the way I set it by just ignoring phone calls instead of having a "discussion." On the one hand i felt like a coward for doing it that way and on the other hand i knew that any "discussion" would just lead to more drama (good/bad mixture, i'm still recovering from that). But the bottom line is i decided to set a boundary and followed through with it.
Just for today, i feel at peace and in sync with God knowing that He has a plan for everybody - including my best interest, the best interest of my family, and the best interest of my family here at Sober Recovery...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Marietta, GA
Posts: 1,453
16 yo AS has been in and out of jail, hospitals and rehabs so many times this year i've lost track and just dont care to count anymore. Rehab wont take him back until February since he ran from there but we only have one more month to go. He spent most of the time in jail but judge had pity on him and let him come home for the holidays with an ankle monitor on house arrest. Just trying to keep things peaceful and keep him active with community service, church, NA - anything he is willing to do until he gets back in there. He's been trying to keep his mind busy by making jewelry and tie dye (yeah he's a big ole hippie but its a craft that keeps his mind active so i dont complain and his jewelry is really beautiful) - we currently have about 30 tie dye shirts drying if anyone is interested in buying any lol. His diabetes is in control right now and he is clean so for that i'm thankful - he has also connected with a church that did some outreach in YDC so that has been really good for him. I'm learning to focus on what I can and cannot control and am finding peace turning him over to HP. Biggest thing is not trying to foresee what tomorrow will hold - staying away from him when he gets moody and wants to pick a fight. its peaceful today so i'll be thankful for that while it lasts. I'm a little nervous about it being New Years Eve - such a reminder for partying but i'm going to try to do a nice dinner - rent some movies and just keep it quiet tonite.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 287
AS relapsed after 9 months sober with good job and living at Oxford House (Bad)
Became homeless and started with heroin (DOC) in NYC (Very Bad)
Started on Methadoned to stop using heroin ( So So)
Get into Shelter for 90 days (Good)
Now getting to get into theraputic community in NYC to kick methadone and straighten out again (Very Good - hope he gets in)
Happy New Year to all and their family for 2009!
Became homeless and started with heroin (DOC) in NYC (Very Bad)
Started on Methadoned to stop using heroin ( So So)
Get into Shelter for 90 days (Good)
Now getting to get into theraputic community in NYC to kick methadone and straighten out again (Very Good - hope he gets in)
Happy New Year to all and their family for 2009!
I'm HOME!!!!!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Hot flash city
Posts: 573
RAD and loser boyfriend still on methadone...good
I kicked her boyfriend out Dec 15th....good
She's following him and leaving her son....bad
I'm trying to let her handle things this time...am keeping "hands off the addict"...good
Am taking the stance that I've done more than enuf for the past 2 years....so going to try to let her handle her own problems...good
Wishing everyone a wonderful New Year!!!
I kicked her boyfriend out Dec 15th....good
She's following him and leaving her son....bad
I'm trying to let her handle things this time...am keeping "hands off the addict"...good
Am taking the stance that I've done more than enuf for the past 2 years....so going to try to let her handle her own problems...good
Wishing everyone a wonderful New Year!!!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
My son remains missing, or as I like to call it "remains in the care of God" because renewing my request in prayer every day has let me have quite a wonderful year.
Let's see, this past year I have...
Accepted a job at a Recovery Home here and it's probably the best and most rewarding job I have ever had and is 4 days a week with tons of vacation, so allows lots of "me" time to keep my life in balance.
Bought a new condo on the water, about 40 minutes from here, at a terrific price and it's exactly what my husband and I have been looking for for retirement, even though we still have a couple more years of working ahead of us. We move January 23/09.
Had a vacation in St. Augustine, Florida, with 4 Codie friends from SR, Mooselips, Hangin' In, JodyHepler and CatsPajamas and learned again how wonderful having friends in recovery who know all about me and still love me, can be. Who knew that 5 codies from all over the continent could meet at SR and become such good friends?
This past year I have been happy, healthy, spiritually connected and grateful, and living my life as God intended, finding jou and beauty in each day.
Before recovery, I would have spent the year miserable and sick with worry and fear, running all over the countryside looking for my son and trying to save him even when he wasn't willing to be saved, putting myself in harms way and taking medication to fight the anxiety attacks and panic.
I'm so grateful to have choices today, and that these choices brought me a healthy, happy year in 2008 and I can look forward to an even better year in 2009.
Happy New Year, Moms (and Dads)
Let's see, this past year I have...
Accepted a job at a Recovery Home here and it's probably the best and most rewarding job I have ever had and is 4 days a week with tons of vacation, so allows lots of "me" time to keep my life in balance.
Bought a new condo on the water, about 40 minutes from here, at a terrific price and it's exactly what my husband and I have been looking for for retirement, even though we still have a couple more years of working ahead of us. We move January 23/09.
Had a vacation in St. Augustine, Florida, with 4 Codie friends from SR, Mooselips, Hangin' In, JodyHepler and CatsPajamas and learned again how wonderful having friends in recovery who know all about me and still love me, can be. Who knew that 5 codies from all over the continent could meet at SR and become such good friends?
This past year I have been happy, healthy, spiritually connected and grateful, and living my life as God intended, finding jou and beauty in each day.
Before recovery, I would have spent the year miserable and sick with worry and fear, running all over the countryside looking for my son and trying to save him even when he wasn't willing to be saved, putting myself in harms way and taking medication to fight the anxiety attacks and panic.
I'm so grateful to have choices today, and that these choices brought me a healthy, happy year in 2008 and I can look forward to an even better year in 2009.
Happy New Year, Moms (and Dads)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Daughter started the New Year in rehab with a relapse, brought back as a gift from a fellow guest, out on holiday leave.
At that time, her prescription meds were running about $3K a month, out of pocket and she had more diagnosis than you could shake a stick at. We were told she would need to be medicated forever and that she would never function well.
She also tested positive a few days before her release, almost 3 months later.
She relapsed within 24 hours of returning home and then stopped
She relapsed again over the summer. Facing certainty of homelessness, she went cold turkey, including all prescription medications.
By all accounts, she should be sitting in Mc Donalds talking to a garbage can. Instead, she is functioning better than she has in years and doing so without any substances.
She is clean for today. She is working today.
As for me, I am forever grateful to so many on this forum who taught me in the past year to stop awfulizing the future.
At that time, her prescription meds were running about $3K a month, out of pocket and she had more diagnosis than you could shake a stick at. We were told she would need to be medicated forever and that she would never function well.
She also tested positive a few days before her release, almost 3 months later.
She relapsed within 24 hours of returning home and then stopped
She relapsed again over the summer. Facing certainty of homelessness, she went cold turkey, including all prescription medications.
By all accounts, she should be sitting in Mc Donalds talking to a garbage can. Instead, she is functioning better than she has in years and doing so without any substances.
She is clean for today. She is working today.
As for me, I am forever grateful to so many on this forum who taught me in the past year to stop awfulizing the future.
remember to breathe
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: philadelphia pa
Posts: 1,280
RAS has one yr clean and sober (good)
had an accident at work but did not take any pain meds (good)
has to have at least 3 teeth replaced due to accident (bad but dealing with it)
just informed us he and a friend are moving in together (very good)
still learning to say oh good for you and meaning it (really really good)
Happy new year to all
for those of you who are having to deal with more bad than good, my midnight prayer tonight will be for you and your loved ones.
had an accident at work but did not take any pain meds (good)
has to have at least 3 teeth replaced due to accident (bad but dealing with it)
just informed us he and a friend are moving in together (very good)
still learning to say oh good for you and meaning it (really really good)
Happy new year to all
for those of you who are having to deal with more bad than good, my midnight prayer tonight will be for you and your loved ones.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in my own world~
Posts: 1,237
My son Chris is doing well. working hard and has a new wonderful, centered GF that we all enjoy. He's living and hour and 1/2 away from us so what we're told we have to believe. For the first time in many years I don't worry about him daily. He has issues I'm sure~~cause he isn't going to meetings but he has a great roomate that he shares a house with that is a hard working man. I'm so thankful that I found this site this year and I will continue to be a part of this community cause heaven only knows whats around the corner.....thank you all so much for your insight into addiction. Happy New year....Bonnie
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: CA
Posts: 32
Bad news is my son Ryan died in april from an accidental heroin overdose.
Good news is he is no longer tormented or suffering. He is at peace with the Lord.
Good news - my daughter and her family are moving closer to me (from Merida Mexico to Mexicali Mexico - just a 4 hour drive away!). That means i can be with my little grandsons more often.
Bad news is my other son still uses meth and lives at home. The good news is i hope he will get help this new year and get his life together. And, dare i wish it. move out finally.
Happy New year everyone!
Good news is he is no longer tormented or suffering. He is at peace with the Lord.
Good news - my daughter and her family are moving closer to me (from Merida Mexico to Mexicali Mexico - just a 4 hour drive away!). That means i can be with my little grandsons more often.
Bad news is my other son still uses meth and lives at home. The good news is i hope he will get help this new year and get his life together. And, dare i wish it. move out finally.
Happy New year everyone!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: CA
Posts: 32
Bad news is my son Ryan died in April from an accidental heroin overdose.
Good news is he is no longer tormented and suffering. He is at peace with the Lord.
Good news is his father is trying to have more of a relationship with my other son.
Good news is my daughter and her family are moving closer to me (from Merida Mexico to Mexicali mexico - just a 4 hour drive from me!). Now i can see my little grandsons more often.
Bad news is my other son is till using meth and living at home.
Good news is maybe he will get help and get his life together. And dare i say it? Maybe he will finally be able to move out.
Good news is the new year brings a lot of hope and high expectations.
Happy New Year to all!
Good news is he is no longer tormented and suffering. He is at peace with the Lord.
Good news is his father is trying to have more of a relationship with my other son.
Good news is my daughter and her family are moving closer to me (from Merida Mexico to Mexicali mexico - just a 4 hour drive from me!). Now i can see my little grandsons more often.
Bad news is my other son is till using meth and living at home.
Good news is maybe he will get help and get his life together. And dare i say it? Maybe he will finally be able to move out.
Good news is the new year brings a lot of hope and high expectations.
Happy New Year to all!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Southwestern, Pennsylvania
Posts: 210
AS relapsed on Heroin in the beginning of the year (bad)
Got in the methadone clinic and off heroin without any help from me (imagine that) (good and bad)
Got a job and actually paid his bills on time for a change (good)
Got a half decent car and had his own transportation (good)
Discovered that he could still get high on Xanax even while on methadone (very bad)
Lost his job because he was high on Xanax so much (bad)
Beat the crap out of aforementioned car and can't pay his insurance or get it inspected because it's so beat up... still drives it (bad) But...Codie mom (me) hasn't bailed him out with paying his insurance or fixing his car (good)
Can't pay student loans so I *have* to pay them coz we co-signed for them (bad)
Ran out of money and has been off the benzo's for a while now (good)
Hasn't found a job yet but is looking (good)
Want's to go back to school in Jan (good, but bad because it costs $ that he doesn't have)
Is still alive and has a future if he chooses too (very good)
Got in the methadone clinic and off heroin without any help from me (imagine that) (good and bad)
Got a job and actually paid his bills on time for a change (good)
Got a half decent car and had his own transportation (good)
Discovered that he could still get high on Xanax even while on methadone (very bad)
Lost his job because he was high on Xanax so much (bad)
Beat the crap out of aforementioned car and can't pay his insurance or get it inspected because it's so beat up... still drives it (bad) But...Codie mom (me) hasn't bailed him out with paying his insurance or fixing his car (good)
Can't pay student loans so I *have* to pay them coz we co-signed for them (bad)
Ran out of money and has been off the benzo's for a while now (good)
Hasn't found a job yet but is looking (good)
Want's to go back to school in Jan (good, but bad because it costs $ that he doesn't have)
Is still alive and has a future if he chooses too (very good)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: At the zoo
Posts: 244
If it's only a few ? sentences, then I'll skip the first half of the year and move to the second half.
In July- August RAD decided she and RABF were getting married in October. Mad dash to throw wedding together. By the end of August after invites were out, he got picked up for b and e, only off parole 3 months mind you. Wedding cancelled, he's in jail and she's done with him.
September, my sister died after a 15 year ordeal with Alzheimer's.
October should have been the wedding, but RAD went to visit in friend in NYC that weekend. She handled it pretty good.
November, had to put my oldest kitty down, 2 months to the day after my sister. Also RAD finds a new BF.
December, uh Merry Christmas to me!! RAD and new bf announce that she is pregnant!! That's only a week ago and I'm still trying to digest it. They are both thrilled, but after only two months, I can't really say that I'm even slightly amused, much less thrilled.
On the bright side, she's got 18 months clean.
Aside from a couple migraines and a panic attack or two, I've been trying to stay in my own space, and take care of me....
Happy New Year to all
In July- August RAD decided she and RABF were getting married in October. Mad dash to throw wedding together. By the end of August after invites were out, he got picked up for b and e, only off parole 3 months mind you. Wedding cancelled, he's in jail and she's done with him.
September, my sister died after a 15 year ordeal with Alzheimer's.
October should have been the wedding, but RAD went to visit in friend in NYC that weekend. She handled it pretty good.
November, had to put my oldest kitty down, 2 months to the day after my sister. Also RAD finds a new BF.
December, uh Merry Christmas to me!! RAD and new bf announce that she is pregnant!! That's only a week ago and I'm still trying to digest it. They are both thrilled, but after only two months, I can't really say that I'm even slightly amused, much less thrilled.
On the bright side, she's got 18 months clean.
Aside from a couple migraines and a panic attack or two, I've been trying to stay in my own space, and take care of me....
Happy New Year to all
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 388
OK... I'm next 
My RAD, will be sober for almost one year (in a few weeks) - VERY VERY GOOD!
She is working full-time, and I am trying really hard to stay on my side of the street. She is renting a house (that my sister bought for her) with a few other girls from recovery ... Some months they have a hard time making rent.... I don't get involved.
My AS, God love him, is now living with my 75 year old mother, God help her. My sister (yes, the same one that bought the house for my RAD) has paid for a new lawyer for all of his legal problems.... I wish them well, but again, I stay on my side of the street. I hope he handles this, better than he did with all of my help.
My non-addict, 29 year old (H.S. TEACHER) daughter just got engaged to a wonderful man and they are getting married next October - VERY GOOD!
Here's hoping that 2009 is a great year for us all.
Hugs,
My RAD, will be sober for almost one year (in a few weeks) - VERY VERY GOOD!
She is working full-time, and I am trying really hard to stay on my side of the street. She is renting a house (that my sister bought for her) with a few other girls from recovery ... Some months they have a hard time making rent.... I don't get involved.
My AS, God love him, is now living with my 75 year old mother, God help her. My sister (yes, the same one that bought the house for my RAD) has paid for a new lawyer for all of his legal problems.... I wish them well, but again, I stay on my side of the street. I hope he handles this, better than he did with all of my help.
My non-addict, 29 year old (H.S. TEACHER) daughter just got engaged to a wonderful man and they are getting married next October - VERY GOOD!
Here's hoping that 2009 is a great year for us all.
Hugs,
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 328
Cliff Notes Version: Both my ASs are sober and I'm in pretty good recovery myself.
Bill picked up his 25 year chip in May and turned 41 yrs old the following week. (good)
He is married to a woman with 19 years in AA and has two adorable sons (good)
He doesn't go to as many meetings as his mother thinks he should. (my bad!)
But she doesn't ever say anything to him about it (my good - 25 years in Alanon is working)
Kevin has 18 months after being "out" since 1991. (good)
Very active in AA (good)
Has an adorable son and another on the way (good)
Bought his mother three new appliances as a way of making amends for all the money he stole from us (very good)
I am active in recovery - and rarely have an Alanon slip. I've learned to bite my tongue until it bleeds rather than shoot off my mouth. I've learned to mind my own business. I've learned not to give opinions unless I'm asked, and then make it a very short opinion. I've learned to enjoy every single day of recovery. I've learned that I can be happy, joyous and free whether or not the addicts in my life are using.
In short, I've had a great 2008 - the highlight being the SR codie retreat in St. Augustine.
Bring on 2009!
Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler
Bill picked up his 25 year chip in May and turned 41 yrs old the following week. (good)
He is married to a woman with 19 years in AA and has two adorable sons (good)
He doesn't go to as many meetings as his mother thinks he should. (my bad!)
But she doesn't ever say anything to him about it (my good - 25 years in Alanon is working)
Kevin has 18 months after being "out" since 1991. (good)
Very active in AA (good)
Has an adorable son and another on the way (good)
Bought his mother three new appliances as a way of making amends for all the money he stole from us (very good)
I am active in recovery - and rarely have an Alanon slip. I've learned to bite my tongue until it bleeds rather than shoot off my mouth. I've learned to mind my own business. I've learned not to give opinions unless I'm asked, and then make it a very short opinion. I've learned to enjoy every single day of recovery. I've learned that I can be happy, joyous and free whether or not the addicts in my life are using.
In short, I've had a great 2008 - the highlight being the SR codie retreat in St. Augustine.
Bring on 2009!
Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler
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