helpus

23yr old RAD Mikaela had 20 months clean & sober the day after Christmas. In the summer her fiance told her he didn"t know what he wanted anymore & said by the end of the month one of them would have to move out of their apartmant. RAD moved back home. Handled things very well. Did not turn to drugs. Signed up for an online college class which she just got an A in. Also started working per diem at a halfway house. Proved to herself that she can do fine on her own w/o a BF. Then she started dating...her fiance. They started out slow. Things are going well for them. Her ex fiance was promoted to manager at the restaurant they work at. She had to be transfered since he is managment. She has handled that well thus far. Mikaela was asked to be a speaker at a convention in feb, which she accepted. Very very proud. For those of you who don't remember her DOC at the end was injecting heroin. She was in pretty deep. Parents...there is hope.

lostparent

Ad got out of jail in April found a job 2 weeks later an has had a job every since..Good
She as admitted to using a few times ..Bad
Has her own apartment at least for now ..Good
Hangs with drug using ex an is always short of money...Bad
Not sure if she is using or maybe I just don't want to admit it to myself.. But I am trying really hard to stay out of the drama..

brokenlady

I think I'm in the right place but I'm sure I'll be guided if I'm not. The posts I've been reading indicate I'm with parents like myself. I'm sick of crying and being frustrated. My son has been in recovery for 27 days. He'll get out tomorrow and is focused on going to a "sober house." Never any options -- just demands. Now we have to try and find more $ for this. Says if he comes home, he'll wind up killing himself. Please, where did you all find the strength and courage to deal with these issues.

Ann

Welcome, Brokenlady. I was broken too, exhausted from trying to fix the unfixable and finally went to live meetings because others like myself had told me they found help, courage and strength there.

I have never looked back. From the moment I walked in the door of my furst meeting, I knew I was in the right place. I cried my first three meetings, couldn't get a word out, just sobbed. The people there understood, offered tissues, hugs and comfort, and just let me wait to speak until I was ready. Those meetings saved my life, literally.

Alanon, Naranon and CoDA are three similar programs that have helped many of us here. Maybe check your area and find out where and when they are held and then make a commitment to yourself to go to several until you can decide if they are right for you.

Again, welcome to SR, you are among friends here who understand and who have been where you are.

One mom to another....hugs from my heart.

brokenlady

Your post of 9:24 a.m. from yesterday really hit home and convinced me to register. I know I/we are not alone - I'm just sad that there are way too many of us. That said, I'm going to search and see if I can find some of the meetings you suggested. I've been working with a therapist since this started 9-10 years ago but I think you hit the nail on the head about being with those who've "been there, done that" -- just like here.
Thank you for your kind words and hugs.

Freedom1990

2008 was a zinger of a year! I was supposed to 'ease' into college classes online over the summer by taking two classes, and then carrying a full load for fall semester. A lightning strike on Memorial Day took out my computer and DSL modem. I am blessed as Vo-Rehab is helping with my college expenses, and I had a new computer in time for fall semester! However, it was sink or swim with 5 classes this fall, and I'm please to announce I completed the semester without too much hair-pulling and a 3.22 GPA!

Oldest AD is still mired in denial, still on probation, and now has a doctor who provides her with a variety of medications so she is able to stay in a chemically enhanced state of mind legally. I have long given up hope for recovery for her. Even though she lost custody of her children, they continue to be profoundly affected by her lifestyle/choices as she does have visitation. I just love them with all my heart on the rare occasions when I do have them, and pray for them otherwise.

Youngest AD has now gone a period of several months without binge drinking, has started making better choices in her life, and I'm seeing a level of maturity I never thought I would see. She still lives at home with me, and we have a good relationship today, with much better communication than I had ever hoped for.

11 more days till spring semester starts, I am excited, and look forward to this new year! God has been very good to me, and I think I'll continue to let him run things!

stefanie

Happy New Year everyone!
As #1 was arrested the other day, released last night.
As #2 is doing well in school, but stopped going to
the methadone clinic. Watched while the police stormed
into the apartment to arrest his brother...good, maybe.
My fathers beloved little dog died in November,sad.
We found a little terrier mix at a rescue shelter for him
she was very shy at first, but is becoming very fiesty!
Am having alot of fun training her.
I will be taking a vacation in two weeks, feeling healthy
and fit thanks to ballroom dance lessons.
love,Stef

LynziDee

2008...

RAH went to rehab in March (DOC heroin), came home in April and has been clean since!

Our children (daughters 10 & 11) finally have a father and are bonding with him!!

I finally found alanon and SR, and desperatly needed both! I am learning so much and it feels so good to ME!! I will find a sponsor SOON!

RAH still has many addictive behaviours, but he's trying to work through them and learn to do better and finally realized that growing up with two addicted parents and a brother who was an addict was not very healthy for him.


I am so happy to start a new year with many positive things on the horizon.....

Happy New Year to all of you!!

caileesnana

AD has 7 months this time and is currently going to school and taking care of 4 month old son. He is a beautiful blessing. On target with growth and development. Put a bow on his head and he would be my daughter! She still exhibits alot of her "behaviors" but seems to be recognizing them. Doing well for the most part, although she is certainly not a joy to be around.

I am thankful she is alive and safe and trying to move forward--dealing with the past is painful. I am thankful the baby is perfect and thank God every time I look into those big blue eyes. I thank God I am not where I was two years ago and not where I am going. I struggle with my own issues and pain, but deal so much better for the time being.

Joy of my life granddaughter is thriving in kindergarten and continues to be the apple of my eye! Never thought I'd love someone as much as I do her!!'


Prayers we all have a peaceful new year, my love to you all,
susan

Jody Hepler

Welcome - we've been there and we REALLY do understand. Hope you can get to some meetings. It really helped me to physically meet folks that had lived through what I was just starting with.

I'm sorry you have to go through this - but so glad you found us.

Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler

gotahavfaith

Hello everyone and Happy New Year!

Wow. What powerful posts on here. Sleepy, your post was so upbeat, Chino, you give me hope, and Ann-you are an inspiration.

My AD was in recovery for 8 months in 2008. Since November she has not been clean and sober. Lives with me, my husband and my 2 grandsons. I have went to meetings alot in the past 3 years. But since November have not been to one! I have let this relapse consume me. I am not a very nice person to be around for any of my family and cannot keep my big mouth shut. I am just sooo angry. This is my New Years resolution. Go back to meetings, remember the tools that I really DO know, just can't seem to stick by and just try and love my daughter for who she is, not what I want her to be. I am going to come back here regularly and read and post because I have let myself sink so far down in my self pity, its time to stand back up again. Thank you

Spiritual Seeker

2008
I returned to work in August after taking two yrs. off.
My husband and I completely gutted and remodeled our house, and I might add -
it is stunning.
Last summer we did our annual trek to Europe (the U.K.) and we're currently planning this year's trip to Scandinavia and the U.K.

My youngest stepson graduated from college.

And oh yea, fantastic news to report about my AS. He has been in rehab for 10 mos. and will commence from the program at the end of Feb. After that he is planning to attend a 1 year transition/college sober living program. He is also addressing his mental health issues.
Change and miracles do happen. Today we both work a program. Today we both believe in a power greater then ourselves.

Here is my prayer for 2009:

Dear God,
I give you praise and thanks for the blessings in my life.
Teach me how to receive my good and support others in claiming theirs.
Remove my fear and restore my joy.
Please melt the walls in front of my heart.
Teach me how to let love in and to let it stay.
In this, and in all things, may Your will alone be done.
May love prevail in us and in the world.
Amen

Spiritual Seeker

Parent check-ins are some of my FAVORITE posts. I love catching up with all of you in
our SR family. Together we work our way through the ups and downs, progress & setbacks.
Any more parents available to chat ??

sistergldnhair

I want to check in too. I've been MIA for a bit. What a year 2008...recap:

AS after months and months of mental anguish and depression admits to drug problem over many years (DOC Heroin)and enters rehab June 2008.
AS comes home after rehab, relapses once, twice, and then third time was a charm...instead of snorting the heroin, began shooting it. August 2008..and finally in September 2008 enters rehab in Florida.
After two months clean in rehab he relapses with a kid from rehab, kid got booted out, AS gets sent homeless for 4 days, and since he is back, has seemed to have turned a corner, and is doing the program, and the therapists and HAPPY at last. and so is he, it seems. He got his new 30 day chip on New Years.....
I'm hoping for a promising new year for our family.

greeteachday

2008 was filled with things for me to be grateful for. In a nutshell it was drama-free and i have been pursuing things I want to pursue. I've found that when i truly let go and let God, things have a way of working out. So often not what i expected, but nonetheless delightful.
Professionally I was asked to take the lead on some signicant national projects, which was pretty cool...cooler still that I was able to ask for help, both spiritually to be guided through it and reaching out to others to create a team. We met and exceded our goals for action items for the year and had fun doing it.
Recovery wise, I'm still very active in my Naranon group and have committed to service work to give back just a little for all that has been given to me.
I've stuck to my work out schedule for over 2 1/2 years now and it really makes a difference. It's such a great stress reliever and healthy too. There's no worry that a good long walk or run can't lighten.
My daughter is doing great...She was struggling a little earlier...not with sobriety, but life/relationships, etc. I prayed that she be guided and comforted and find happiness. Several things changed over the last month or two...it wouldn't have been what I would have thought...is it ever? But just tonight, in a text to me she said she was "ridiculously happy"
I still miss Kristen terribly and not a day goes by where she isn't in my thoughts, but mostly there are happy memories and I really do believe she is in a much better place.

I am excited about 2009. I know I have more work to do on me, but I love this journey and I can't wait to see where life brings me next

Warm thoughts and prayers to all the parents.

Hangin' In

2008, as every year of my life, has brought me many things to be grateful for. As I look back over my entire life, that is the recurring theme...I am so blessed even on my worst days.

RAD is 26 now and has just celebrated 5 1/2 years sober. And I am grateful for every sober day! She attends meetings regularly. She lives 500 miles from me. I tell people I know God arranged that. He saved me from her but more importantly, He saved her from HER MAMA, bless her heart! If I lived closer, I know me ... I'd be prone to say a little too much.

She is engaged to a young man who is also in recovery, 2 1/2 years clean. Their wedding is planned for July 25th and they will get married in Mississippi. We are busy trying to plan this long distance wedding (well, long distance for me anyway.)

RAD is half-way through her 3rd year in college. She smiled as she graduated from her 2 yr community college this past May saying, "I'm going to BIG KID school in the Fall!" And she did. Her grades are fabulous. (Amazing how they get more serious about studying when THEY are paying the tuition.) Since coming into recovery, she has worked fulltime as a waitress supporting herself. Her college is paid through grants she obtained all by herself and through a presidential scholarship she DARN WELL EARNED by studying her fanny off.

Oldest, non-addicted but untreated Al Anon daughter is married 2 1/2 yrs now. I think she and hubby are talking about babies. I wish she would add meetings to her life, but as my program teaches ... "Let go and let God." I have to work my program with her just as much as I have to work it with my RAD and remember that she, too, has her own journey. I have no clue as what God's plans are for her life, but I know He does have a good plan for her and I have to trust Him.

Thank you SR and Al Anon for teaching me that each person does have their own path. And there is no way I can live my own life, working on getting rid of my character defects when I'm so focused on trying to control and run someone else's life. I don't know what made me think I knew so much about how everyone else should live their lives. I mean no one came to me and said, "Hey, you look like you're doing such a good job of running your life. Would you run mine?" And we talk about the alcoholic/addict being arrogant? Sheesh!