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Stopping to Say Hi and an Update

Old 11-16-2008, 05:29 AM
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Stopping to Say Hi and an Update

Haven't been here in a LONG time.. it has been two years since ABF is gone and my life is good. I got a dog and she has more than replaced the BF (more loyal, more fun, always happy etc. and ABF was none of those things).

As I progress I now never allow myself to berate my self in any way that is harmful to me.. I think something negative and immediately also think., "If someone said this about your family, how whould you react?" If the answer is "I would want to beat them with a skillet.." I stop berating myself.

I never allow ANYONE to treat me like Mat (as in door). I don't always react immediately (need to get the emotional crap out of the way first) and then I tell them that their behavior toward me was rude and unacceptable and WHY. I then DROP IT and walk away. Sometimes the other person drops it and sometimes they will apologize and sometimes they go away in an angry huff and won't speak to me. All those things THEY own, not me.

I have also been investigating the Sedona Method and find I can connect with this process better than I could with AlAnon. However, AlAnon was a life saver for me and a great start.. and the Sedona Method follows a lot of the same principals and is actually sort of like Icing on the Cake.

I still do not want any sort of relationship with a man.. too many burn scars from those and still not certain I want the confinements and compromises of a relationship. Most of my misery has been due to bad choices with men and I am sooo happy now.. I REALLY don't want to louse that up. I LIKE my FREEDOM.

I can say that if I had tried to stay in a relationship with and addict AND tired to recover myself, it would not have been possible. Anyone who can do this has my respect.

If you and I have never met on this forum or if you are new, you CAN reach a state of peace. YOU can be HAPPY. YOU can REDEFINE YOURSELF. YOU can MAKE YOURSELF the NUMBER ONE PERSON IN YOUR LIFE and still have LOTS and LOTS of love for others (more actually than you can have when you put others before taking care of YOU).

Happiness is a choice just like misery is a choice. It took me awhile to figure that out (but I am not the quickest study sometimes). If you open your self up to the possibility you can be happy, you will be surprised how it will filter into you. If you can allow yourself to let go of the misery and decide WHEN to do that, you will find misery will fade.. and gosh.. contentment and eventually peace.. may fill the void left by departing misery.

Probably won't be back on again for awhile. Happy Holidays to all..
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Old 11-16-2008, 06:23 AM
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Ann
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Elana!!! :ghug3

It's so good to see you, my friend, and I am glad things are going well for you.

Yes, indeed there are many good lessons we learn along the way and the most important, I think, is to love and respect ourselves and accept nothing less from others.

Don't be a stranger, it's always nice to see an old friend.

Hugs
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Old 11-16-2008, 07:43 AM
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Elana,

Wow its so great to see you!! I am so happy for you... you sound like you are in a great place right now. Please keep updating us!!

hugs,
Jewelz
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Old 11-16-2008, 10:19 AM
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I wondered how you were glad things are going good.
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Old 11-16-2008, 12:40 PM
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((((Elana)))

It is SOOOOOO good to hear from you!!! I'm glad things are going good for you, and I love it when you pop in here

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
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Old 11-17-2008, 08:36 PM
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HI there ((((Elana)))))
Love hearing from people who have been busy living life. You sound happy and ...well just awesome!
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