wifeofpinocchio

I keep waiting thinking that maybe depression will strike, but I honestly so far (knock on wood) can say that I am calmer, feel more relaxed, feel more at peace in my new apartment.

The only moments I am having aggravation is when I have to deal with him with the kids. He has been playing a game with our 8 year old daughter, not returning her when I tell him. I was trying to be nice and let him see the kids as much as he wants (he only has asked to see the 7 month old 1 day out of over a week and he has barely seen the oldest). I can tell he is trying to get our daughter to live with him.

The moments I have here NOT dealing with this aggravation were all WELL WORTH IT!!! I only hope and pray that I never go back to that Highway to HELL he is on. (I'm glad I jumped off that ride of destruction).

Prayers to all of us that deal with this madness. We all deserve peace in life! I pray we all still find those moments! (if even for just a moment)

Thanks for this place!!!

BayAreaPhoenix

(((Wifeofpinocchio)))

Good for you! It must feel great! I know I feel great too in my new space.

blizzard77

I totally relate, although we don't have children together. He's been gone for two weeks, yesterday. I didn't shed a tear the first week but I was angry. Then while I was getting ready for work (I know great timing) I had this vision of me and my three step children, whom I am extremely close to standing over his coffin and the tears kept coming long after I got to work. Fortunately my co-workers have been very supportive. I'm a nurse and they pitched in and did first rounds on my patients so I could pull it together. It was before he told me his intention was to kill himself that I had that vision or thought.
The last time we spoke on the phone it was very peaceful even though he decided he didn't want rehab. I had already planned that if he didn't go I'd change my numbers and maintain no contact with him so the conversation was difficult for me knowing I wouldn't be talking to him anymore (hopefully). I say that because I've been on this nasty ride more times than I can even remember and I've NEVER followed through with no contact. But, somehow and some way it's different for me this time. I don't feel that obsession to hear his voice, know how and what he's doing. I have hope for him that he'll get better someday but I don't have hope for us anymore and sad as it is it feels good!! Then again today was a good day for me. Who knows how I'll feel tomorrow??? He once told me " I always know that if I don't hear from you in a couple of weeks you'll be calling". He's so arrogant but he was speaking the truth. My brother who is a RA would get so frustrated with me. He'd tell me you could be the one person who holds the key to him wanting sobriety but instead your the one constant in his life. " Keep your hands off" he'd say but I wouldn't. Funny thing is my motive for no contact is not to make him see the light. It's enabling me to see the situation for what it is. At least for today I can honestly say I don't want to have any contact with him and I'm not wondering what he's thinking. I just feel peaceful. Sorry for going on and on but I'm amazed at how I'm feeling. Prayers to you and your children. It must be so hard when kids are involved. Bless their little hearts.

AWEDA

Good for you!!!
Enjoy your new found peace..8