nevergivingup

So, I got word from Tim's sister tonight that he relapsed again. Did anyone else see this coming????? Maybe I'm psychic! He did okay for a couple of days and then went back to doing what he does best. His family cleaned it all up for him and even drove him to rehab. He had planned on moving from one apartment to another, so they packed up all his stuff and moved it all for him. WOW!!!! I'm just tired of this all! My only real comment that I had, was that I already knew when I didn't hear from him and then went to move the child support money from one account to another and there wasn't any there..... trained in the art of recognizing the signs! I don't know why it's so different this time. I feel like it's just nothing new. But, I'm not angry, I'm not sad, I'm not anything. Is this progress or is this just me pushing it all to the side? I guess time will tell. I feel like everyone wants to tell me their experiences, but I want to just say, "Don't call me unless he dies." I know that's mean, but does everyone have to go down with him? I see his sister sinking, while she cries hysterically on the phone. I can hear in his mom's voice the disappointment and the depression. And then I see Jay, completely unaware and uninterested in all of it. He doesn't ask for him, doesn't want to know anything. Is there something wrong with that? Should he be asking for him more? Maybe he should be! I don't know. I just sit here and shake my head and the shear and utter stupidity of addiction!

marle

I think that you have managed to detach from the chaos, you have accepted that there is nothing that you can do. When I see other people still in the middle of trying to help their addict, so desperate to find the magic to save them, I feel compassion and then relief that I am not there. You are right where you need to be and I think that Jay is so secure in your love for him, that he does not need anything else for right now. Just be thankful that he is oblivious. Sounds like you are doing a really good job of staying on your side of the street and doing what you need to do to keep your son safe and happy. Hugs, Marle

helpus

(((never))) Sending out huge bear hugs to you & lil Jay. You have learned what is out of your controll. Don't worry about anyone other than you & Jay. His sister & mother have to find their won way.

Impurrfect

I agree with Marle...I think you are doing an awesome job at detaching and Jay is learning from you. It's sad that his mom and sister are still going down the addiction spiral with them, but they have to find their own bottoms. Maybe they will see what works for you and try it themselves, but it's up to them.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Jewelz

((((Never))))

I just wanted to send hugs to you.

I am thinking and praying for you!

Hugs,
Jewelz

cinderellawkids

Jay sounds like he's handling not seeing his dad healthily. Keep taking care of you guys.

Hugs

Ann

What they all said...and a hug from me too.

nevergivingup

Thank you all sooo much for your comments, hugs and support! Nothing new to report today! We're leaving Sunday morning to go visit my brother for 11 days, 10 nights. I know they all have my cell phone number. I'd love to just leave it home or turned off but I have a couple of teleconferences set up for next week with work - the department of health (and I know they'd freak out if I didn't answer). And, I have someone "kitty sitting" and want to keep in touch with that person. Otherwise, I'd leave the phone at home!

I had a good cry the other night. Put my thoughts in order. Really started to understand that I was upset because it just kind of brings back memories of the past but also understood that I wasn't all that upset because NOW I know that I have control over my involvement in the whole thing. I am much better then I ever was all those years before and I'm proud that I can recognize that. I used to run straight for the chaos, now I'm just simply shutting the door and going on with my life.

I really am glad that I was able to come here. I think you all really helped me put my thoughts into perspective and see the situation for what it really is..... not my problem! LOL!

Talk to you all when I get back!
Corine