Step Study ~ Step 10
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
There is a sticky at the top of this forum with discussions on the previous steps.
Step 10 is the beginning of what some members refer to as the maintenance steps. Others call them the continuous-growth steps. Step 10 helps us to keep the principles and tools of the previous Steps working in our daily lives. To maintain our serenity and continue to grow, we continue to inventory ourselves and make amends to others.
With Step 10 we try to keep our slate clean in order not to slip back into self-destructive patterns. Slips are especially likely to occur in times of stress, when it is natural to retreat into old, defensive behaviors. Recovery does not cure us of every human imperfection or eliminate all the pain in our lives. But it gives us the tools to deal with our problems and to continually work to improve ourselves
Some members find it useful to make a chart that includes a list of typical personal weaknesses and strengths that can be checked off before going to bed. A mental review of the day chronologically or taking note of an event that produced and comfortable feelings also works. The following questions may help develop the habit of continual inventory.
What is the purpose of Step Ten?
How do I feel about take a personal inventory?
What means of taking daily inventory is comfortable?
What will help me continue to apply program tools when life gets rough?
How can I be patient with myself if I feel I’m not growing fast enough?
When might I need to take a spot-check?
What can I do with my spot check inventory?
In a daily inventory, I can ask myself:
What were the major events of the day?
What feelings did I experience?
How did I deal with them?
Did I get myself involved in any situation today that I had no business being in?
What can help me to accept myself as I make mistakes again and again?
Did fear or faith rule my actions today?
How can I admit my wrong despite my pride and fear that it will be used against me?
Am I at fault for trying for peace at any price? What are my motives?
How do I know when to make amends and when not to?
What positive traits did I exhibit today?
What negative traits did I exhibit today?
How did I try to fix anyone today?
How can I “Let Go and Let God “?
Did I abandon my own needs today? How?
Have I been too accommodating, saying “yes” when I wanted to say “no”?
Was I afraid of an authority figure? Of anyone? Why or why not?
What small things can I do to practice standing up for myself?
How did I take on anyone else’s responsibility today?
What am I afraid will happen if I don’t take on extra responsibility?
If I was wrong, did I promptly admit it?
What can I do to take good care of myself today?
Is there something that I need to take a longer look at? What is it?
Have I done something difficult or particularly well today? How can I appreciate myself for it?
How could sharing my daily tenth step inventory with another person, such as my sponsor, help me?
What characteristics show up most often in my inventory?
Why do I resist having them removed?
After practicing the tenth step, how have my feelings about it changed?
Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Step 10 is the beginning of what some members refer to as the maintenance steps. Others call them the continuous-growth steps. Step 10 helps us to keep the principles and tools of the previous Steps working in our daily lives. To maintain our serenity and continue to grow, we continue to inventory ourselves and make amends to others.
With Step 10 we try to keep our slate clean in order not to slip back into self-destructive patterns. Slips are especially likely to occur in times of stress, when it is natural to retreat into old, defensive behaviors. Recovery does not cure us of every human imperfection or eliminate all the pain in our lives. But it gives us the tools to deal with our problems and to continually work to improve ourselves
Some members find it useful to make a chart that includes a list of typical personal weaknesses and strengths that can be checked off before going to bed. A mental review of the day chronologically or taking note of an event that produced and comfortable feelings also works. The following questions may help develop the habit of continual inventory.
What is the purpose of Step Ten?
How do I feel about take a personal inventory?
What means of taking daily inventory is comfortable?
What will help me continue to apply program tools when life gets rough?
How can I be patient with myself if I feel I’m not growing fast enough?
When might I need to take a spot-check?
What can I do with my spot check inventory?
In a daily inventory, I can ask myself:
What were the major events of the day?
What feelings did I experience?
How did I deal with them?
Did I get myself involved in any situation today that I had no business being in?
What can help me to accept myself as I make mistakes again and again?
Did fear or faith rule my actions today?
How can I admit my wrong despite my pride and fear that it will be used against me?
Am I at fault for trying for peace at any price? What are my motives?
How do I know when to make amends and when not to?
What positive traits did I exhibit today?
What negative traits did I exhibit today?
How did I try to fix anyone today?
How can I “Let Go and Let God “?
Did I abandon my own needs today? How?
Have I been too accommodating, saying “yes” when I wanted to say “no”?
Was I afraid of an authority figure? Of anyone? Why or why not?
What small things can I do to practice standing up for myself?
How did I take on anyone else’s responsibility today?
What am I afraid will happen if I don’t take on extra responsibility?
If I was wrong, did I promptly admit it?
What can I do to take good care of myself today?
Is there something that I need to take a longer look at? What is it?
Have I done something difficult or particularly well today? How can I appreciate myself for it?
How could sharing my daily tenth step inventory with another person, such as my sponsor, help me?
What characteristics show up most often in my inventory?
Why do I resist having them removed?
After practicing the tenth step, how have my feelings about it changed?
Forum Leader
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Some readings about Step 10:
Today's thought is:
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
--Step Ten of Alcoholics Anonymous
The Tenth Step wisely exhorts us to take a stitch before the whole seam is gone, to fix the leaky faucet before we have a flood, to keep checking the oil level to protect the engine from damage. The Tenth is the taking-care-of-business Step.
There's nothing fun or exciting about maintenance. While it's essential to ongoing well-being, it can seem tedious and annoying to reflect back on each day with a critical eye. And we don't enjoy repeatedly seeking out and admitting our faults. But the discipline of a daily Tenth Step is the best precaution we can take to safeguard our gains and prevent further losses.
Like a mirror, a daily Tenth Step gives us a clear, realistic picture not one distorted by despair or wishful thinking of who we are and how we're doing. And just as we use a mirror, we need only check ourselves out and go on with our business. A Tenth Step takes only a minute or two.
I am grateful to have an effective tool to keep myself on track.
Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen & Carol Larsen Hegarty
================================================== =====
Courage to Change ODAT in Al-Anon II June 12
Since the Tenth Step is part of my daily routine, I try to think of it as a gentle, warm, and loving way to take care of myself. By continuing to take my own inventory and promptly admitting when I am wrong, I clear out many unwanted attitudes that might otherwise clutter my day.
This Step has helped me to learn that living one day at a time involves more than pulling my attention back from fears of the future. It also means leaving yesterday’s baggage in the past. Each day I ask myself if carrying this extra weight will in any way help me today. If not, I can drop it here and now and walk away from unwanted negativity with a lightness of spirit.
Today’s Reminder
On this new day, let me quietly reflect and search out any negative feelings that are left over from yesterday. Old resentments will interfere with my serenity today. Perhaps it is time to let them go.
“Each day, each new moment can be an opportunity to clear the air and start again, fresh and free.”
…In All Our Affairs
Today's thought is:
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
--Step Ten of Alcoholics Anonymous
The Tenth Step wisely exhorts us to take a stitch before the whole seam is gone, to fix the leaky faucet before we have a flood, to keep checking the oil level to protect the engine from damage. The Tenth is the taking-care-of-business Step.
There's nothing fun or exciting about maintenance. While it's essential to ongoing well-being, it can seem tedious and annoying to reflect back on each day with a critical eye. And we don't enjoy repeatedly seeking out and admitting our faults. But the discipline of a daily Tenth Step is the best precaution we can take to safeguard our gains and prevent further losses.
Like a mirror, a daily Tenth Step gives us a clear, realistic picture not one distorted by despair or wishful thinking of who we are and how we're doing. And just as we use a mirror, we need only check ourselves out and go on with our business. A Tenth Step takes only a minute or two.
I am grateful to have an effective tool to keep myself on track.
Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen & Carol Larsen Hegarty
================================================== =====
Courage to Change ODAT in Al-Anon II June 12
Since the Tenth Step is part of my daily routine, I try to think of it as a gentle, warm, and loving way to take care of myself. By continuing to take my own inventory and promptly admitting when I am wrong, I clear out many unwanted attitudes that might otherwise clutter my day.
This Step has helped me to learn that living one day at a time involves more than pulling my attention back from fears of the future. It also means leaving yesterday’s baggage in the past. Each day I ask myself if carrying this extra weight will in any way help me today. If not, I can drop it here and now and walk away from unwanted negativity with a lightness of spirit.
Today’s Reminder
On this new day, let me quietly reflect and search out any negative feelings that are left over from yesterday. Old resentments will interfere with my serenity today. Perhaps it is time to let them go.
“Each day, each new moment can be an opportunity to clear the air and start again, fresh and free.”
…In All Our Affairs
Forum Leader
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Step 10 was the topic of my Al Anon meeting this week. I am always amazed at what a joyous step this is. There are so many different ways to do the step... some people do a quick self check every night when they go to bed. Some do it in the morning with morning readings or prayers. Some ~ like me ~ do it throughout the day.
I know pretty quickly when I have said or done something that has affected another person. It's evident by body language, or by a response from the other person. Working the steps and talking with a sponsor and others in the program has taught me that I only need to keep my side of the street clean. If I have said something inappropriate or unkind, I will make an amend. If I have set a boundary and the other person has uncomfortable feelings about that, I may NOT need to make any kind of amend. If I find myself in doubt, I don't take an action right away. That's the time I will call my sponsor or another recovery friend to talk it out first.
Do you have Step 10 ideas to share?
I know pretty quickly when I have said or done something that has affected another person. It's evident by body language, or by a response from the other person. Working the steps and talking with a sponsor and others in the program has taught me that I only need to keep my side of the street clean. If I have said something inappropriate or unkind, I will make an amend. If I have set a boundary and the other person has uncomfortable feelings about that, I may NOT need to make any kind of amend. If I find myself in doubt, I don't take an action right away. That's the time I will call my sponsor or another recovery friend to talk it out first.
Do you have Step 10 ideas to share?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Years ago I used to work the steps without knowing it. I had been to a therapist to work out some past issues and gradually went from being a victim to a survivor. That process meant constantly taking inventory of myself. It was probably the happiest time of my life!
Ten years down the road I became complacent and eventually started taking inventory of others. That was the beginning of my undoing in this latest chapter of my life. It was a domino effect and it rolled very quickly. Ego got in the way.
When I started therapy again this past January, I was working the steps again without knowing it. My therapist's specialty is addiction and oh boy is he good. I remember the session where this step came up. He bounced something back in my face that I had tried to give to others. It stunned me at first and then I walked out laughing at myself. Pot meet kettle! It was the beginning of my turn around.
I can't tell you how many times a day this step enters my consciousness. It is constant! I'm thinking again before I speak or act. It keeps me honest and a whole lot happier
Ten years down the road I became complacent and eventually started taking inventory of others. That was the beginning of my undoing in this latest chapter of my life. It was a domino effect and it rolled very quickly. Ego got in the way.
When I started therapy again this past January, I was working the steps again without knowing it. My therapist's specialty is addiction and oh boy is he good. I remember the session where this step came up. He bounced something back in my face that I had tried to give to others. It stunned me at first and then I walked out laughing at myself. Pot meet kettle! It was the beginning of my turn around.
I can't tell you how many times a day this step enters my consciousness. It is constant! I'm thinking again before I speak or act. It keeps me honest and a whole lot happier
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Step 10, for me, is how I keep my side of the street clean, by making amends as quickly as possible and remaining aware of my behaviour and feelings.
Today, if I feel unbalanced for any reason, I pause to give thought to why and then begin to do whatever I need to do to get back on a good path.
Hugs
Today, if I feel unbalanced for any reason, I pause to give thought to why and then begin to do whatever I need to do to get back on a good path.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 718
Thank you for this. My life has been upside down for sometime now and yesterday, I got a shocking glimpse at how out of control... off track... I am. I was sick to my stomach to know that I had made a mistake and that I had let someone who I love down.
But, last night I decided that rather than be upset, I would own it and talk to him (my brother) today. I would apologize and do my best to lay out a plan to keep my side of the street clean. Didn't realize that I was working a step, but guess maybe I am making progress. Man, life is hard sometimes. I am looking forward to a time when I feel rested, peaceful, happy.... comes before we die, yes???
But, last night I decided that rather than be upset, I would own it and talk to him (my brother) today. I would apologize and do my best to lay out a plan to keep my side of the street clean. Didn't realize that I was working a step, but guess maybe I am making progress. Man, life is hard sometimes. I am looking forward to a time when I feel rested, peaceful, happy.... comes before we die, yes???
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