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He's "getting better "

Old 05-09-2008, 11:02 PM
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He's "getting better "

So my AH has been attending 2 or 3 NA meetings a week..He is reading his "big book" all the time it seems.. Underlining certain phrases or qoutes and having me read them.. It "seems" as though he is putting forth genuine effort. One thing that is bothering me is that he is trying to be way too affectionate with me. Always wanting to hug me, kiss me.. & Honestly I don't want that right now.. I want to believe that he is sober, but there is always that part of me that doesn't know. I am sure I will be unsure for a loooong time..I never saw him go through withdrawls of his DOC.. Tramadol. This med probably isn't considered to a lot of addicts as " good stuff", like other well known opiates. Regardless, he was/is addicted to it for a looong time. I read posts on substance abuse that, coming down from this stuff is or can be very hard. Some even compared it to coming off of heroine! & I never saw this?! Many more people than I ever thought have had serious issues with this.!
Some of you may have read some of my previous posts. I felt that I had really hit my bottom with him this time..I was reading a lot, learning a lot. I actually felt like this was it. Then, wham. His grandmother who practically raised him, who he is closer to than anyone on this earth, was diagnosed with lung cancer. The prognosis is poor. She is inoperabale, not a candidate for chemo.. Radiation will only buy us time.. So basically I am back to sqaure one!!! Any suggestions?? Thanks.. Love ya guys :-)
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Old 05-10-2008, 12:02 AM
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Lost my first reply....oops. Its late and I'm more tired now, but let me try to summarize:

Try not to think of it as back to square one. Sometimes, as we move forward, we need to take a step or two backwards. It doesn't mean we haven't learned anything, just that we need to keep focused on what it is that we want and be willing to take the NEXT step. YOU are moving forward and can continue to do that --keep the focus on what you can do for yourself.

You have been hurt, and although I am glad to hear he is "working" his program, you and only you can decide when and if you can trust him again. This may take time, but that's ok. Give yourself that time.

Sorry to hear about his grandmother. You said she practically raised him. I would think she still wants him to stay clean --and "work" his program. Now is the time for him, more than ever maybe, to go to meetings, read the BB, and trust in his HP.
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